dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 So I got asked out for coffee by a guy on the online dating site I'm using. He only has one picture up (in his gown from graduating college), and he emailed me one more. I can't get a real clear idea of what he looks like... and this problem in the past has left me with some ... well eh... let's say one was missing a front tooth... One picture he was rather attractive in, the other, not so much. I do get that looks aren't everything. Which brings me to the next part... He's in law school. I'm not sure what I'd have in common with him. The email conversation has been okay, nothing that's really wow'd me. Just small talk. He could be more talkative in person? I'm not sure. This is the downfall of online dating... you never know what you could get yourself into.
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 For God'ssake Dreamer, don't go!! You'll end up in a harem in Baluchistan! Seriously, try to have a day-time date in a public place, and set a time limit, beforehand. that way if he is unsavory, you won't be alone with him, and if he doesn't meet your standards, you will only have a limited contact.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Well he asked to go for coffee around noon on Sunday. I have to work at 6 that night I believe. Maybe I can bump it up to like 3. I am having a bbq Saturday, so I might not be up to par by noon I mean... if I end up with another Batman.... Multiple dating is hard work!
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Then don't multiple date. Simple. I dated a girl once who was dating 2 other men. When I found out, she was dating only 2 total, because I was gone. There are many peaches, but you should only eat them , one at a time, that's why you only have one mouth.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 But I want to keep my options open. It's not as if I'm having sex with multiple guys... just dating. I actually do like it over how I was dating before, which was putting all my eggs in one basket, and constantly getting let down. When I know a guy that is who I want to date exclusively - then I'll stop.
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Sorry Doc, but I've heard this before. The girl I was talking about, grew to love the attention, so would always be making excuses, why she should continue dating more than one guy, finally she told me I was the one and she would stop, with the others. But she just had to date them one more time, to let them down easy. I wasn't having it, so I left. She tried for 6 months to get me to go out with her again, but I didn't trust her. You want to keep your options open, what about the guys feelings? Doesn't matter to you?
Isolde Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I think when Dreamr finds a guy she really likes, she'll stop seeing other people. DG, you should go, its just coffee
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 BTW it's not putting all your eggs in one basket, it's trying out one basket at a time, big difference.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Well one guy had told me he was seeing a few girls. The other guy I've only been out with once, and he's just freshly single. Those are the only two I'm seeing. I was seeing another before this second guy, but after he started talking trash about my friends, in front of them, I had to let him go (that was just the second date). So there's only one I've been consistently seeing, and if he's seeing other people as well, I'm not sure how it'd hurt his feelings.
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Dreamer, I'm only giving you my opinion. It's your life, you do what makes you happy. I wouldn't put up with it, because I feel that dating is two people getting to know each other and progressing to something better, or not. Unless i have your full attention, how will I know what kind of woman you are and vice versa.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Dreamer, I'm only giving you my opinion. It's your life, you do what makes you happy. I wouldn't put up with it, because I feel that dating is two people getting to know each other and progressing to something better, or not. Unless i have your full attention, how will I know what kind of woman you are and vice versa. But that's saying your only dating one person. If you yourself were dating other women, it wouldn't be fair to drop one of them for dating other men, right?
loveslife Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I think when Dreamr finds a guy she really likes, she'll stop seeing other people. DG, you should go, its just coffee I second this emotion...er, sentiment!
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 You know me Dreamer, I've cheated and wh*red over several continents, but that's my point. What I did was wrong!! It took me quite some time, but I finally realized that I should only date one woman at a time. If, after a few dates, it wasn't clicking, we went our seperate ways, and I dated somebody else. No harm, no foul.
MeadowGlitter Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I don't see anything wrong in multiple dating as long as everyone is aware of it so that no one gets hurt. I think girls, even guys are capable of saying enough is enough when the time has come to make a decision on who to date exclusively.
D-Lish Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Dreamer, I'd see more pics first. I have never been unhappy meeting a guy with lots of pictures- but only one or two pics... I've been disappointed. My most noted shock story from online: 1) Guy said he was caucasian- brightened his photo and marketed himself that way. Met him for coffee. He shows up- he's East Indian. Why would you lie about your race dude!!! ??? That was just weird. Try and see more pics first. Or, I dunno- maybe it would be fun to just go and fly by the seat of your pretty pants!
Jilly Bean Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I make it a policy to only date men who have their front teeth intact. Ascribe to that, Dreamer. Now to this tool, er, dude, take a pass.
Isolde Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I make it a policy to only date men who have their front teeth intact. Ascribe to that, Dreamer. Now to this tool, er, dude, take a pass. If you read the original post carefully, she said one of the guys she dated in the PAST was missing a tooth, not this one (I don't think). And shes given no indication hes a tool.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I don't see anything wrong in multiple dating as long as everyone is aware of it so that no one gets hurt. I think girls, even guys are capable of saying enough is enough when the time has come to make a decision on who to date exclusively. That's what I'm saying... I don't see the problem as long as we're on the same page. When I first started seeing the guy I've been seeing the most, I told him I wasn't ready to just settle down, that I'm casual dating and what not. Then the conversation came up later (after another date or two) and we were both seeing other people. I think maybe in another week or two, I'm going to revisit it, and see where we stand then. Then there's the guy I went on a first date earlier this week with. He's only been single for two weeks, said he likes to take things slow, and I don't even know if he wants to see me again. He said he did, but hasn't asked me out for a second date. If he asks me out again, I'm going to let him know that I'm multiple dating. Dreamer, I'd see more pics first. I have never been unhappy meeting a guy with lots of pictures- but only one or two pics... I've been disappointed. My most noted shock story from online: 1) Guy said he was caucasian- brightened his photo and marketed himself that way. Met him for coffee. He shows up- he's East Indian. Why would you lie about your race dude!!! ??? That was just weird. Try and see more pics first. Or, I dunno- maybe it would be fun to just go and fly by the seat of your pretty pants! OMG that's crazy D. I can't believe he did that. That's why I prefer to see more pictures straight up.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I make it a policy to only date men who have their front teeth intact. Ascribe to that, Dreamer. Now to this tool, er, dude, take a pass. Me too, that's why I get scared when I've only seen two pictures and both are closed mouth. I have fears that I'll meet another guy with that problem lol. If you read the original post carefully, she said one of the guys she dated in the PAST was missing a tooth, not this one (I don't think). And shes given no indication hes a tool. As far as I know, he's not missing teeth, but he could be. Honestly both the pictures looked a little old as well.
Jilly Bean Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 If you read the original post carefully, she said one of the guys she dated in the PAST was missing a tooth, not this one (I don't think). And shes given no indication hes a tool. And if you read my post carefully, you would see that the toothless comment was not in regards to this guy. And I am the one who deemed him a tool. Geesh. Someone's in a mood. lol
Jilly Bean Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Me too, that's why I get scared when I've only seen two pictures and both are closed mouth. I have fears that I'll meet another guy with that problem lol. Oh, totally! He could be sporting the teeth of the British Isles... I once went out with a guy who showed up missing a tooth. He had them all in the pic online. I would ask him if he has bad teeth. I mean, why not, right? lol Still, he doesn't seem to float you, so I'd still take a pass. Denver has sooo many hot men. Don't settle.
boldjack Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Well, I guess I'm screwed with all of you gals. I'm missing 4 teeth. 1 from a bar fight, 2 to gunfire, and 1 to a piece of shell in a crab cake. So , I have 4 nice teeth, bought and paid for.:D (visual pun intended).
Author dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Oh, totally! He could be sporting the teeth of the British Isles... I once went out with a guy who showed up missing a tooth. He had them all in the pic online. I would ask him if he has bad teeth. I mean, why not, right? lol Still, he doesn't seem to float you, so I'd still take a pass. Denver has sooo many hot men. Don't settle. Haha, I could start teeth screening. I'm always weary of guys who dont' have many pictures as well. Period. I like to have a good idea of what they look like. There was another one, who had a 'profile' picture - side of their face. I asked if he had more, he said sure on myspace. So I give him mine, and he was suppose to add me. Well he said he couldn't log in, but I'm really hot so we should meet up. Not with that one picture that is in that pose where hardly anyone looks bad JB what's your take on multiple dating?
MeadowGlitter Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 That's what I'm saying... I don't see the problem as long as we're on the same page. When I first started seeing the guy I've been seeing the most, I told him I wasn't ready to just settle down, that I'm casual dating and what not. Then the conversation came up later (after another date or two) and we were both seeing other people. I think maybe in another week or two, I'm going to revisit it, and see where we stand then. Then there's the guy I went on a first date earlier this week with. He's only been single for two weeks, said he likes to take things slow, and I don't even know if he wants to see me again. He said he did, but hasn't asked me out for a second date. If he asks me out again, I'm going to let him know that I'm multiple dating. There you go. As long as you're upfront about it, then don't worry about it.
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