Author Lizzie60 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Hmmm....well...can't imagine that there are very many married folks that would call that a "benefit". My guess would be that most would prefer to know that the person they're with wanted to be with THEM, ya know? Clearly she'd not consider it any kind of benefit or 'help'. Odds are, she'd be disgusted and divorce him in an instant. Again, how's that a real 'help' for the situation? Come on Owl.. just google .. How can an affair be good for a marriage... and you'll come up with a lot of sites about this.. This is one I just found... I am convinced... that an affair with a partner like me.. who doesn't want any commitment, who doesn't want to take them off their family.. could be a good thing.. in many ways.. You might not agree with me.. it's OK... We happen to think differently.. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/2095967/Why-having-an-affair-could-save-your-marriage.html
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 and I should add that this therapist even go further and say to never tell about your affair even if you're being asked directly.. it could do way more damage than bring your secret to the thomb..
Dexter Morgan Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 ah, more bragging and patting yourself on the back I see.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 ah, more bragging and patting yourself on the back I see. Why not ? If you got it.. flaunt it... I'm not bragging.. I'm just stating the truth...
Owl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Per the article you linked, how do your affairs with these guys "jolt people from their inertia"??? It sounds to me like it ADDS to their inertia. They continue to come to you for whatever 'needs' you meet, and get the rest met at home...but there's nothing in your arrangements with these guys that initiates any kind of 'change' on their side. They have no REASON to change when you're willing to 'meet their needs'. An affair like the one my wife had...that was a "wake up call"...that could in some fashion meet the kind of situation that the article described. But how does it become a wake up call for the BS if they don't find out about the affair? Hiding the affair is what she recommends...but if it's only a jolt to ONE person in the marriage, it's not going to be all that effective either, ya know?
Dexter Morgan Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Why not ? If you got it.. flaunt it... I'm not bragging.. I'm just stating the truth... Those that only "think" they "got it" try all too hard to convince other people. If you got it, you don't need to flaunt it.....therefore.....well, you get the picture.
2sure Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 My recently discovered serial cheater H had several OW with more on the line. I had the unfortunate luxury of being able to read word for word nearly all of the text and email messages between H and them. He told each of them he loved them, missed them, and thought about them all the time. I know that if I wanted him to identify each of them by face or name or details....I would have to make him OW Flashcards to work with. I wouldnt worry about it.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Per the article you linked, how do your affairs with these guys "jolt people from their inertia"??? It sounds to me like it ADDS to their inertia. They continue to come to you for whatever 'needs' you meet, and get the rest met at home...but there's nothing in your arrangements with these guys that initiates any kind of 'change' on their side. They have no REASON to change when you're willing to 'meet their needs'. An affair like the one my wife had...that was a "wake up call"...that could in some fashion meet the kind of situation that the article described. But how does it become a wake up call for the BS if they don't find out about the affair? Hiding the affair is what she recommends...but if it's only a jolt to ONE person in the marriage, it's not going to be all that effective either, ya know? OK let me explain something.. It's not always about the wake-up call... Sometimes the A doesn't fix what is wrong between the couple.. let's say the W doesn't want sex.. (like my MM from work).. everything is fine in the marriage.. they love each other, good parents, you know the whole nine yards.. all he wants is more sex.. so he gets it with me.. then he's happy.. they don't fight anymore about sex.. he stopped nagging and arguing about it... she's happy because he's not bothering her anymore.. the kids are happy because they have both parents (and they are great parents btw)... This explanation goes for most of my MMs.. they are not excessively unhappy at home... everything is great except in the sex department...
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Those that only "think" they "got it" try all too hard to convince other people. If you got it, you don't need to flaunt it.....therefore.....well, you get the picture. Hey Dexter.. come on man... I got it and I KNOW it.. and I flaunt it..:p:p:p:p
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Admittedly, I'm flabbergasted. The Mother Theresa of sexual surrogates. I've said that before.. I'm the Mother Theresa of Sex-Starved Men..
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 My recently discovered serial cheater H had several OW with more on the line. I had the unfortunate luxury of being able to read word for word nearly all of the text and email messages between H and them. He told each of them he loved them, missed them, and thought about them all the time. I know that if I wanted him to identify each of them by face or name or details....I would have to make him OW Flashcards to work with. I wouldnt worry about it. Well.. as far as I'm concerned.. I know my MMs do not have other OWs.. most of them hardly have time for me... they just wouldn't have the time.. it's hard enough to have one mistress.. how can they have 2+... I am not worried... plus they're not tied up to me..
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