Broseph Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Well me and my ex split almost almost 3 weeks ago (4 year realationship) although, we had 11 days of vacation together after the break which makes things even more complicated. We ended on good terms (no cheating, never fought) and she broke it off cause she has been thinking that she wants to do her own thing. I figure once someone gets this in their head they wont get it out till they try so good ridence for now, I could see her getting distant and it was putting strain on me, a different kind of pain to this loniness pain (loss of best friend ect.) Anyways, she has been working away for the last few months doing seasonal work, so when she got back she had to go there right from the airport. She took our car which she has had for awhile but was going to return it at the end of the week. She messaged me the day she drove back and messaged a couple times saying I am home safely and hope you made it home safely too. I figure at this time I will ignore her and i did. Anyways, today comes (5 days NC) when she is meant to be returning the car. Therefore, I guess i kinda need my car so i decide to break NC in theory which i havent done since the airport... I know people might pipe to me that no contact means no contact but i really want my car. all i texted was 'are you bringing the car back?' she instantly replied ' good morning, i think *** will be driving back and she will take it then, is this ok? It should be Monday. How has your week been?' That was this morning now its approaching lunch. I havent replied i guess a reply to that would definetely break no contact. I dont care that the car gets brought back on Monday so as long as that happens Im ok. I want to establish distance right now to both make her miss me and if that doesnt happen im moving towards healing at the same time. Not sure yet what i want our relationship to be if we cant be together, i ponder the friends with benfits thing, the friends thing, and the eat my dirt thing. Have a done anythign wrong yet anyone and any advice on any of this would be lovely!!! I am sad and alone right now, living in another country with most of my really close buds and family overseas. Even if its words of encouragment please feel free to send them.
sheithappens Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 hang in there man , the no contact rule is ok, but sometimes when you need to break it in your case to get back your car then do it.... as long as you dont start saying mushy sh*t and stuff ... good luck bro
icyness Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Sounds like you're doing really well. Just take it day by day and hang in there.
seoa Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 NC is just a set of rules to make it appear as if you have masses of self-respect... coz the first thing to go when you've been rejected is the self-respect plus any sense of perspective on what show self-respect and what doesn't (hence the begging, pleading, etc that most go through), so the rules are really needed (i'm not knocking NC)... so the rule of thumb is "by doing X, am i showing maximum self-respect"... which is why i would say not replying to a specific & practical question ("is it ok if someone else brings it back on a specific day?") seems wierder than a simple reply ("sure, thanks.") coz not replying makes it seem as if you are hurt that she's not bringing it back herself or something... makes it into a big deal... sending a boring reply seems much more self-respecting to me... but that's just me...
simonsez Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Two things... There IS another guy in the picture. Bank on that. You need to be dating and being seen around with another woman. Don't let others tell you differently. Get out and about with some other women. Waiting around doesn't work. What works is letting them come to you. They usually don't want you until you find someone else.
danny75 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I cant see that you have done anything wrong, just reply to her about the car thats all and leave her alone from there, dont make the same mistake as i did by letting my ex make regular contact with me, it isnt worth the hassle trust me.
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