EddieN Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I'm back at school now, and unlike this past summer there are lots of girls around. Something just feels weird, though, like it always has. I came in looking forward to a new start. Everything else was great - my new apartment, my roommates, my classes. The freshmen coach for my sport was being a dick to me the other day (he never liked me) and I brushed him off without a worry. But the girls, as always, don't notice me. I'm not sure what to do. Not to mention, every girl seems to be attached. It gets pretty annoying when I see guys and girls always together - the girl hugging the guy, smiling with him and all, and I've never had anything like that. What REALLY confuses me is the people I'm close to assume I have no problem with girls, in fact they think of me as somewhat of a ladiesman. If you took one look at me and saw my personality you would probably think the same, except for the important detail that I haven't been out with a girl or hooked up in ages. A week ago, I actually met in real life for the first time a girl my age whom I met on a similar site as this and became somewhat of a pen pal with. Prior to our meet up, she said that I might be giving off a bad vibe or had a funny way of talking. She said that she was surprised by how outgoing I was and how comfortable she felt talking to me. Like me, she too is stumped about my situation now. Everyone says how dating in college in extremely easy, but I'm totally stumped. I might be smart in a lot of ways, but I just can't figure out what is going on.
Jaytb Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'm back at school now, and unlike this past summer there are lots of girls around. Something just feels weird, though, like it always has. I came in looking forward to a new start. Everything else was great - my new apartment, my roommates, my classes. The freshmen coach for my sport was being a dick to me the other day (he never liked me) and I brushed him off without a worry. But the girls, as always, don't notice me. I'm not sure what to do. Not to mention, every girl seems to be attached. It gets pretty annoying when I see guys and girls always together - the girl hugging the guy, smiling with him and all, and I've never had anything like that. What REALLY confuses me is the people I'm close to assume I have no problem with girls, in fact they think of me as somewhat of a ladiesman. If you took one look at me and saw my personality you would probably think the same, except for the important detail that I haven't been out with a girl or hooked up in ages. A week ago, I actually met in real life for the first time a girl my age whom I met on a similar site as this and became somewhat of a pen pal with. Prior to our meet up, she said that I might be giving off a bad vibe or had a funny way of talking. She said that she was surprised by how outgoing I was and how comfortable she felt talking to me. Like me, she too is stumped about my situation now. Everyone says how dating in college in extremely easy, but I'm totally stumped. I might be smart in a lot of ways, but I just can't figure out what is going on. are you asking anyone out? Or are you just sitting by the sidelines? If you are already, then you just need to keep looking.
mac10688 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I was kind of in your same boat but this summer I went to rush for fraternities. There are plenty of rush girls at those events. Just do something to stand out and introduce yourself. Maybe just a simple introducing your name and shaking hands. Flirt with the girls, because most of them will be single. It's a start at least. I've made plenty of new female friends and got plenty of phone numbers. I'm trying to get to know a girl right now actually, but that's a different story. But seriously, get out and meet people.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 You need to rewire your thinking and not see every girl as a potential candidate for a LTR. College is very much a jungle: you are competing with the other predators on the prowl. Basically if you see a girl you like ( from appearance and personality she looks like someone you want to go out with) don't hesitate to go to her and introduce ourself. In this way you're brushing up on social skills and making friends ( if she turns you down). Negativity is a turn off and it will show if you become bitter everytime you see a couple pass you on campus.
Lish Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'm back at school now, and unlike this past summer there are lots of girls around. Something just feels weird, though, like it always has. I came in looking forward to a new start. Everything else was great - my new apartment, my roommates, my classes. The freshmen coach for my sport was being a dick to me the other day (he never liked me) and I brushed him off without a worry. But the girls, as always, don't notice me. I'm not sure what to do. Not to mention, every girl seems to be attached. It gets pretty annoying when I see guys and girls always together - the girl hugging the guy, smiling with him and all, and I've never had anything like that. What REALLY confuses me is the people I'm close to assume I have no problem with girls, in fact they think of me as somewhat of a ladiesman. If you took one look at me and saw my personality you would probably think the same, except for the important detail that I haven't been out with a girl or hooked up in ages. A week ago, I actually met in real life for the first time a girl my age whom I met on a similar site as this and became somewhat of a pen pal with. Prior to our meet up, she said that I might be giving off a bad vibe or had a funny way of talking. She said that she was surprised by how outgoing I was and how comfortable she felt talking to me. Like me, she too is stumped about my situation now. Everyone says how dating in college in extremely easy, but I'm totally stumped. I might be smart in a lot of ways, but I just can't figure out what is going on. The bit in bold.. what exactly do you mean?
boogieboy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Like I told you in the past Eddie, youre not gonna over come any of that until you actually start TALKING to these girls.
mike88 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I used to be kinda similar. I think you're just missing that little bit of confidence you need to go up to a girl you find attractive and start talking to her. In the past if I was talking to a girl I was attracted to (and even if she was attracted to me) I'd get really self conscious and start worrying about what she thought of me and what I was saying. When you're nervous you don't show off your true personality, because what you're saying is forced and not natural. Also I used to wait for the girl to make the first move because I was too shy, but 95% of the time that won't get you anywhere because they'll just think you're not interested and move on. When you met up with the girl you met online, and she was surprised at how outgoing you are, thats probably because you'd already got to know each other first on the web, so you felt comfortable around her and were just being yourself. My main advice, don't worry so much about what other people think of you! You're probably a cool guy, so if someone doesn't like you or a girl rejects you, that's their problem not yours.
Green Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 seriously if you listened to every bit of advice I gave you then you would have a date by the end of the weekend. The point is your just not confident enough, its as simple as that. I didn't start to do well with the ladies until I was in my twenties. Any ways private msg me if you want some in depth advice but the truth of the matter is the key to success at anything including women is confidence in yourself, and the ability to overcome your fears and insecurities by acting and hence being confident
Brady_to_Moss Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Trust me..college is not an easy place to date. I am in my junior year and have yet to get a date in my 3 years with me talking to girls here and there. Most girls i come to find out are taken or just like one night stands which i am not into. Most girls i know dont want a relationship and when your college has 60% guys 40% girls like mine..your screwed.
Pedigree Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 You need to rewire your thinking and not see every girl as a potential candidate for a LTR. Where were you on my first day of uni? I only "rewired" a few weeks ago and it's been doing me wonders. I'm more outgoing with girls because I don't see them as a potential candidate and stumble over myself. My only regret is not to do this sooner because I'm in my second to last semester now. Oh well, there's always postgrad .
Hkizzle Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 You've been coming up with posts like these ever since I joined this forum, and it's the same thing repeated every other week. You're insecurity is probably showing on your face whenever you're looking at girls.
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