K706 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Yesterday after a little over a year my boyfriend tells me it's not a good thing for him to be in a relationship with me. We started out as friends, as because he was like no other guy i've dated, it slowly and reluctantly turned into a relationship. Since that time it's been a rollercoaster, and because he suffers from depression i've tried to get him back into shape on the right track to being the person he's been trying to be. When he's up its wonderful, and i finally thought i met someone i wanted to be with for the rest of my life....sometimes he would say or drop hints that he felt the same way. That he wanted to make a relationship work with me through the thick and thin. So why is this so different from the other 5 times we've broken up? He told me last night that he felt, that after a year of dating, that i wasn't the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. Drive the knife in a little deeper. My only MAJOR thought was that he never got to know me or give me a chance as a healthy person...and told me eventually he will meet someone down the road just as I will. I'm so confused. Is it him talking? Does he not care about me? I've been through worse breakups before, but i feel unfinished. The hardest part of this is that it would crush me, even in the future, if i saw him w/ someone else. He wants to remain my friend, do the things we love to do together b/c we love the outdoors and like to stay active...but i still want to talk to him everyday. I still hope that he's not thinking correctly- he needs to get his life in check and that MAYBE he'll give me another chance. He was the one i wanted. I'm not really sure what to do. I want to be friends with him, but at the same time i want to shake him and tell him to give me another chance (ok, not literally). I know things will get better as time goes on- but has anyone else been through something similar? I just want to know that there's a possibility of another chance..... I want to be with him when he's healthy and loving, and not miss out on that chance. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Don't pin your heart to it. Second chances rarely work out. Take it day by day and try as much as possible to limit contact to none at all. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 A second chance is when the first go-around didn't work out, often for reasons beyond the immediate control of the couple. If it didn't work out because of incompatibility or one of the parties losing their love, a second chance is likely a poor use of time and emotion. If *both* parties proactively express that they want to 'give it another chance', then perhaps it's possible. In your case, a depressed person is a lousy partner. It's not your job to save him or heal him. He's not going to be with you simply because you suffered through all his shyte. IMO, leave him alone, go about your life, grow, meet other people and, maybe, down the road, a second chance will come your way. Stay in contact and I seriously doubt it, at least anything healthy... Link to post Share on other sites
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