Steve_London Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I got this from an older thread... MITTEAN, if you don't grow a backbone real fast and start standing up to this woman then one of two things will eventually happen to you: 1) she will eventually leave you for a man who is not a pushover, or 2) you will stay married forever but YOUR life will be a living nightmare. neither scenario is good. That's so true, as I am now aware of. My wife was VERY controlling about a few things, mostly money and to some extent sex. She pretty much walked all over me and I did hardly any standing up to her. Lesson learnt. We're divorcing now, she found someone else. But I am kinda glad now. It wasn't easy, I didn't want to divorce, but now it's been 2 months and I am happier away from her. My life has been crappy for a few months, but it is getting better and now I will laugh when her new relationship which she thinks right now is so wonderful falls apart when he realises she has major issues and is a control freak. Or I won't care either way... which is even better, I can and will do so much better than her.
Auroracoladybug Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Steve, There are a few things that I want you to be cautious of so you do not make the same mistakes...My H said that I was very controlling about money and sex...I was very determined to make a better life for both of us and thought that keeping him from spending money on things we didn't need (Nintendo Wii etc) would afford us more meaningful things later. I was bad about pointing out things like the Wii when we would come up short for $ for bills. And now regret that we didn't talk those things out. I did not just give in to sex...I had to be coerced...not that I didn't like it but it was not the main focus for me, I wanted cuddled and pampered more (ironically he felt that because we started originally 12 years ago as a one night stand that we were basing everything on sex and not friendship)...I regret not talking more about all of that too....I don't want my divorce and still love him dearly but he has decided that he needs time to not be coerced to do anything and be on his own because he feels everything in the past was a mistake...don't do that to yourself don't regret anything and learn from it...I wish you the best and a much easier partner to communicate with...for me the biggest OW was WOW
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