DollWelch Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Someone explain this to me: Why aren't men asking me out on dates often? I don't get it. They just stare at me. Turn head, stare, and more staring. Am I a "Monster"? There must be some explanation. Anything. It's ridiculous and frustrating all at the same time.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Someone explain this to me: Why aren't men asking me out on dates often? I don't get it. They just stare at me. Turn head, stare, and more staring. Am I a "Monster"? There must be some explanation. Anything. It's ridiculous and frustrating all at the same time. Why don't you ask them out?
Thaddeus Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Could be that third eye in the middle of your forehead. That weirds me out too. OK, joking aside, it could be for any number of reasons. Perhaps you're giving off an unintentional "f*ck you" vibe? Perhaps they're waiting for an indicator of interest (lengthy eye contact, hair flip, smile, whatever)? Who knows? But why wait for them? Take the initiative. Approach them. Make your own luck instead of waiting around for someone to make it for you, because obviously, for whatever reason, that's not working. Afraid of making the approach? Afraid of rejection? Afraid that you'll be thought of as "too aggressive" and whatnot? Welcome to the club. Count to 3 and do it anyway.
BCCA Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Someone explain this to me: Why aren't men asking me out on dates often? I don't get it. They just stare at me. Turn head, stare, and more staring. Am I a "Monster"? There must be some explanation. Anything. It's ridiculous and frustrating all at the same time. What do you do when they stare? If theyre turning their head to look, they find you attractive; you dont sneak extra peeks at 'monsters' Chances are, youre doing something that gives off the impression you dont want to be approached. If a guy you want to come talk to you looks over, just smile - thats the universal sign for 'its ok to come talk to me'. Honestly, a lot of women arent very nice when you approach them, so some guys get aprehensive.
Author DollWelch Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Why don't you ask them out? I don't ask men out. That's my policy. Unless, it is under rare and special circumstances. ...Perhaps you're giving off an unintentional "f*ck you" vibe? No. I don't give off that vibe. I know myself well enough. I don't walk around holding a grudge against men.
BCCA Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I don't ask men out. That's my policy. Unless, it is under rare and special circumstances. No offense, but...should you really be complaining about them not asking you out then? No. I don't give off that vibe. I know myself well enough. I don't walk around holding a grudge against men. Then what do you suppose the problem is? Every guy in the world is just off in some way?
Lauriebell82 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I don't ask men out. That's my policy. Unless, it is under rare and special circumstances. Okay, well maybe not as far as "asking out." How about just trying to strike up a conversation? Where do you usually see these men? Here's an example: bookstores: good place to meet men. Go to a section where you see an attractive man. Maybe he looks at you. Comment on a book he is checking out. Like "hey I've read that, it's excellent!" or "Do you like this series? I'm interesting in getting some new books, what do you suggest?" Yes, this is a tad forward but you gotta get the guy talking. Men can be just as shy trying to talk to attractive women. Sometimes you have to give them a little nudge to get them going.
laRubiaBonita Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 maybe you are sooo beautiful that men are intimidated..... it happens. but i agree with what some others have said- if you have a 'policy' on not asking out men, why should they have to ask you? maybe they hold a similar policy.
Thaddeus Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I don't ask men out. That's my policy. Unless, it is under rare and special circumstances.Well, that "policy" clearly isn't working for you. You know the old saying: If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. Perhaps it's time to revisit that "policy," since it's obviously not getting you the results you want.
tinklebell Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 What do you do when they stare? If theyre turning their head to look, they find you attractive; you dont sneak extra peeks at 'monsters' Chances are, youre doing something that gives off the impression you dont want to be approached. If a guy you want to come talk to you looks over, just smile - thats the universal sign for 'its ok to come talk to me'. Honestly, a lot of women arent very nice when you approach them, so some guys get aprehensive. It's difficult to smile at people when they look at you but in a scowling way. I swear, some men just walk around with a I-hate-the-world look or attitude. So I don't understand whether they hate me or think I look nice.
Jaytb Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Someone explain this to me: Why aren't men asking me out on dates often? I don't get it. They just stare at me. Turn head, stare, and more staring. Am I a "Monster"? There must be some explanation. Anything. It's ridiculous and frustrating all at the same time. you might be really good looking or not so good looking. I don't know. Can't really tell. Do you expect men to be asking you out all the time?
Author DollWelch Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 Some time has passed, as I thought this "Dating Jinx" would change or -rather, improve, but No! Argh! I must be giving off a "Repelling Vibe of Unwomanliness" or Something! I am definitely much more friendly, and outgoing these days, than I was in the past (~6 Months), and smile more often, but nothing progresses past "Stares" and "Brief Conversations" with certain men. Therefore, my only logical conclusion is that neither radical "Change of Behavior" nor "Asking Men Out" will suffice -i.e. less likely to bring about sudden improvements and interest levels to increase. I'm not willing to rethink my policy. I was out, yesterday, waiting for someone and while I was standing there, a handsome man was walking towards me, and as I looked up to see who it was, he and I locked eyes for a brief moment -which seemed like an eternity (in woman's time). Quickly, though, I looked away. I suppose I couldn't hold the gaze, mainly because I was a little shy and he was good looking. Then, instead of walking past right next to me, he stopped and stood about a meter in front of me. Later I sat down on a chair, and I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or not, from the corner of my eye. So, I thought to myself, later -or actually within that same minute, of if he were to say "Hello" or at least make small talk, how nice would that be. Clearly, he didn't and I was just fantasizing. Only a stranger though, I doubt I'll ever see him again out in public -though if I did, that would certainly be lovely. Well all this talk about a stranger: It's obvious this "Dating Rut" I'm stuck in, isn't working very well. I wish a man made for me would fall from the sky! Thoughts?
boogieboy Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) Youre not in a dating rut, youre just scared of rejection. These guys stare at you and you wont do anything. Obviously youre either not good looking enough to compell guys to talk to you, or youre not as inviting looking as you think you are. It seems to be your destiny, to attract guys that just stare and dont make the first move. And since people dont fall out of the sky into your lap most of the time in life, and you dont want to strike up the conversations, youre either doomed to wait for someone to do your work for you (who knows how long that will take) or you can change your policy. I mean, how long you gonna wait for everyone else to do all the work? Man up and take fate into your own hands. Who knows what kind of gems youre passing up because of a stupid policy. You dont have to ask anyone out, you could just try "hi there". If youre not going to change your policy, what are we supposed to tell you? Edited October 24, 2009 by boogieboy
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I am definitely much more friendly... with certain men. The problem is far more obvious than this thread would have everyone believing.
Author DollWelch Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 Youre not in a dating rut, youre just scared of rejection. These guys stare at you and you wont do anything. Obviously youre either not good looking enough to compell guys to talk to you, or youre not as inviting looking as you think you are. Interesting. It's a little more than obvious, you don't know what you're talking about. Do you? I may be a little scared of rejection, when talking to or around men. Who (Which woman) isn't? But, I certainly compensate by at least conversing quite a lot with men. I always hear feedback about how great I was talking to so and so, and how much they're crushing on me (Said by both men and woman close to me). Yet, I rarely see them put this into motion. You don't know how I look like. You can only guess. Are you saying that simply because I am not good looking enough (ugly) then therefore men don't ask me out? What about the other 99% of the population that ask men out, do they have a 100% success rate? Hahha. Just because a woman asks a man out, doesn't make it a guarantee for a date. I am only trying to understand the basics behind this whole men and dating phenomena. Wanting a good number of men actually asking me out on a date, sane and genuine men at least, is too much to ask for. Is it? I sincerely hope that there is more to dating that just looks (I don't lack in) alone.
Author DollWelch Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 The problem is far more obvious than this thread would have everyone believing. What is this problem you speak of? Surely, there must be something only you've caught on and no one else, not even me. Care to Elaborate.
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