harmon25 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 21 y/o male my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago we dated about 1.5 years. We are both seniors in college at the same school. So since the breakup 2 months ago we still talk because we've agreed to try and be friends. But small issues continue to come up, which seem to be out of frustration because we both have feelings still. So we get into texting battles when this happens. It happened again last night so I finally told her lets meet up in person and talk about things. She agreed so she's gonna come to my apt. sometime in the next few days. Any advice on topics to avoid or topics to promote in general? I know some things I want to say but the last thing I wanna do is fight with her. She also has a very hard time projecting her feelings so that will be hard too. I don't know how this convo. will end but I don't want bad terms...Any advice?
sheithappens Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 dont get mad if she tells you things you dont want to hear..... also, remember that anything she tells you might be out of anger or something... good luck getting her back, p.s: arguments are not worth the heart ache or time in the relationship
skywriter Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Incourage her to express to you, in her words, whatever it is that you two are having arguments abt. When she talks to you, allow her to finish talking, without interrupting. This way, will benefit you, wether you agree or not. It will help you to understand how she feels to a degree and also what she is thinking. Who knows, you may actually learn alot of this technique. She should do the same for you as well. We are all guilty of this at some point in our lives. We get so caught up in "how we are feeling", that it becomes difficult at best to control our mouthes. It's amazing what we hear when we close them. LOL
NopeNah Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 the "small issues" are coming up because, you can't be friends with someone who you still have hopes of being with. This is why NC is important in distancing yourself emotionally enough to where you're indifferent with that person. If I were you I'd cancel the meetup and go hardcore NC. I mean what's there really left to say? If you do meet up I would NOT talk about the breakup/wanting to get back together. Since she left you it has to be her to want to reconcile at this point. Any begging,pleading,ect.. is only going to push her further away and make you look pathetic and weak to her, thus making her decision seem to be the "right thing" to do. It will give her ALL the power! Good luck!
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