CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 So, let's say you have a first date with someone and it goes off perfectly. You both have a great time, get along well, enjoy each other's company and want to go out again. On the second date you say or do something really bone-headed. Give me an example of some of the stupid things you've said or done when you're on a date with someone you really like. Did you recover? If so, how? Mr. Caliguy made a dumb mistake. It's nothing that is really BAD it's just the sort of thing you don't say on a second date. I know she really likes me and it was going really well to that point, haha. She did say that we should do something again but I left the ball in her court. Wine+Smooching with someone I like = my IQ drops through the floor. (No it wasn't I LOVE YOU, dorks!) This woman and I -- we're like a total match because we like almost the same things. Musically, culture, traveling, art, we're both sarcastic and funny, etc. So I see a lot of potential in things going further with her but at the same time, I kinda stepped on my own crank there...
caramel c Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Maybe I missed it - but what was your mistake?
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Maybe I missed it - but what was your mistake? Just said a stupid thing. Nothing bad just kinda threw me and her for a loop. I *think* I recovered but since I left the ball in her court, I won't know till she contacts me. If she doesn't, no biggie. I just see a lot of potential in her.
Hkizzle Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Haha, yeah what did you say? I think when it comes to first few dates I got all my dumb mistakes out of the way when I was a teenager. Let's see. I told a girl she was too chubby when I was 14. when I was 16 I went on a date and walked down a street with a boner because I was so happy and she saw. Stupid stuff like that, so I learnt pretty quickly to be a real gentleman..........
Lish Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I know you asked for examples of our own mistakes, but I thought I'd mention a few stupid mistakes guys have made while dating me.. - "So now that we've kissed... fancy coming home to mine?" - "You know what, I asked you out for a bet and the funny thing is, my mates are paying for this date hehehe....*brain kicks in*...um well, I meant, um..... No not what you're thinking.....oh man.." - "You look amazing tonight...even my penis thinks so.."
Art_Critic Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 You didn't tell her something like " I could see myself married to you " or " how many kids do you want to have when we get married? " CG.. Spill what you said... Most likely the recovery from a bonehead comment would just be going in the opposite direction for a bit.. if the comment made you seem clingy then show her that you aren't. if the comment made you seem a bit rushed or taking it too fast then slow down.. and don't apologize for a bonehead comment more than ONCE...
silic0ntoad Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Dude, how can anyone give you advice if you don't tell us what you said? Here's a boneheaded move I made on a date and recovered: Date 2, girl is totally awesome (didn't work out in the long run, but whatever) we were clicking and having a good time. We are at a local bar where I knew the bar tender. I state "This girl makes the best drinks I've ever had. Among other things." (MEANING FOOD! she cooked there too) My date took it as a prior fling. It was pretty bad. But the next night I was with her anyways, so it all worked out.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 You didn't tell her something like " I could see myself married to you " or " how many kids do you want to have when we get married? " CG.. Spill what you said... Most likely the recovery from a bonehead comment would just be going in the opposite direction for a bit.. if the comment made you seem clingy then show her that you aren't. if the comment made you seem a bit rushed or taking it too fast then slow down.. and don't apologize for a bonehead comment more than ONCE... I'm too embarrassed to tell you exactly what was said but it was a bit too "forward" looking. Not necessarily clingy but sort of asking something that you ask a little later down the line. Art, I think you're right on track with settling down a bit. I do have a penchant, when I am excited about someone, to not STFU and let things progress normally. One things for sure -- she's definitely physically attracted to me. Nearly had to beat her off me with a stick (not that I minded, mind you!)
dreamergrl Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I'm too embarrassed to tell you exactly what was said but it was a bit too "forward" looking. Not necessarily clingy but sort of asking something that you ask a little later down the line. Art, I think you're right on track with settling down a bit. I do have a penchant, when I am excited about someone, to not STFU and let things progress normally. One things for sure -- she's definitely physically attracted to me. Nearly had to beat her off me with a stick (not that I minded, mind you!) Did you ask her to be exclusive?
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Did you ask her to be exclusive? Kinda-sorta But I backed off right away, it was more of a general question asked in the heat of things....(was getting a little hot and heavy) and I'm of the opinion if you're making out and stuff, that means you aren't doing it with anyone else.
dreamergrl Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Kinda-sorta But I backed off right away, it was more of a general question asked in the heat of things....(was getting a little hot and heavy) and I'm of the opinion if you're making out and stuff, that means you aren't doing it with anyone else. And what did she say??
caramel c Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Nice try buddy (lol), tell us the whole story, what was her reaction?
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 If she's not a CP, don't sweat it. In fact, great floater to weed out the emotionally distant women. I'll have to try that one, after wasting a decade of my life... Personally, I wouldn't even 'apologize'. As I said, don't sweat it...
Art_Critic Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 If you let her know the real CG.. the one who is independent and loves to race bikes and stuff like that then she will see your comment was just a boneheaded one.. Now that you let the exclusivity comment slip too early you need to back away from it and not discuss it unless she brings it up. I'm like you CG.. when I start slipping it to a woman she is it.. I'm not even dating anyone else..but..................... They don't know it.. They don't know that I'm a one woman kinda guy till a bit later when the exclusive talks happen. then I mention something like "..I only date one woman at a time and when we started dating and getting physical I pulled the plug on other girls to see when this one goes ". If they ask what I would do on those Friday's or other nights that we didn't go out I would tell them the truth.. I either went to my cabin in the mountains or went to work..
Art_Critic Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Personally, I wouldn't even 'apologize'... Yeah.. a comment like that isn't the kind of thing you say your sorry for...
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 And what did she say?? She had that shocked look on her face for a second. I can't remember exactly what I said but I tried to defuse (without really apologizing coz I didn't think it was necessary) and then we went back to making out. She said she was interested in hanging out again but I left the ball in her court for that since I set up the first two dates.
caramel c Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 She had that shocked look on her face for a second. I can't remember exactly what I said but I tried to defuse (without really apologizing coz I didn't think it was necessary) and then we went back to making out. She said she was interested in hanging out again but I left the ball in her court for that since I set up the first two dates. We'll see what happens then. I don't think its too big of a deal though. If she liked you, she still likes you.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 If she's not a CP, don't sweat it. In fact, great floater to weed out the emotionally distant women. I'll have to try that one, after wasting a decade of my life... Personally, I wouldn't even 'apologize'. As I said, don't sweat it... Not going to and didn't What's a CP? I don't know if she is emotionally distant but she is private and does value her independence. If you let her know the real CG.. the one who is independent and loves to race bikes and stuff like that then she will see your comment was just a boneheaded one.. Now that you let the exclusivity comment slip too early you need to back away from it and not discuss it unless she brings it up. I'm like you CG.. when I start slipping it to a woman she is it.. I'm not even dating anyone else..but..................... They don't know it.. They don't know that I'm a one woman kinda guy till a bit later when the exclusive talks happen. then I mention something like "..I only date one woman at a time and when we started dating and getting physical I pulled the plug on other girls to see when this one goes ". If they ask what I would do on those Friday's or other nights that we didn't go out I would tell them the truth.. I either went to my cabin in the mountains or went to work.. Definitely won't bring it up again. That said, I have done this almost every single time I have gone on a few dates with someone I was totally into. I don't like not being exclusive or not really knowing that we're not exclusive. In other words, I'm not dating, touching, groping or making out with anyone else. When you're making out, at least for me, I'm thinking "Ok, I like you enough to do this, I don't want to see anyone else right now..." and then the stupid comment slips. Hard to stop but I won't do it again. Yeah.. a comment like that isn't the kind of thing you say your sorry for... True and I'm not sorry for saying it. I'm embarrassed that I said it so quick. Women like to "wonder" what men are thinking and when we blurt it out so soon like that sometimes we can be "perceived" as needy/clingy. She's 34 though so I hope she doesn't think like a 22 year old.
silic0ntoad Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I agree. Pursue slightly. You kind of already laid the cards out HAHA. I would ask her out again. To hell with the rules. Have a good time and see where it goes.
caramel c Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 It sounds like you don't want to ask her out again, but if it were me, I would want to be pursued. She's given you no indicator that she's NOT interested, so why do you want to leave the ball in her court?
loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Geeez don't worry about this. It's not like she got up and left in a huff or said, 'get off me!' and ran for the hills. I'd say just forget about it and enjoy yourself. If you get too stressed about this you might be really boneheaded.
loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Oh, and I think you should definitely do the asking out. It's been how things have worked up until now. If you don't she might think you're not really interested and were only saying what you did to try and get in her pants.
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Not going to and didn't What's a CP? I don't know if she is emotionally distant but she is private and does value her independence.CP = Commitment Phobic ED = (for men) erectile dysfunction; (for women) emotionally distant Me: "Even though I'm going through a divorce and everything hasn't been roses and butterflies, I look forward to getting married again; in fact, I relish it. I love intimacy and emotional closeness. How do you feel?" Watch em' run Oh, regarding balls, you do the asking. She does the accepting. Ask others too
Isolde Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Awww Cali, I think that's kind of sweet. Put it this way, you were caught up in a moment of genuinity. There's nothing boneheaded about that.
Recommended Posts