Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Hi all. Suffered a bit of relapse today when i heard my ex had met somebody else. We've had no contact but she contacted me today and told me via text message. We're invited to a wedding next week of a mutual friend who is a good friend of mine but a former work colleague of hers. She wanted to tell me before i find out at the wedding next week as she did'nt wanna put me through that. I guess somebody must of told her i'm alone i guess. I'm half thinking not to go now:(. Its knocked me back and i feel as bad as i did i may when she broke up with me. I don't wanna see her with another man as i'l be there on my own. At the time we were both invited together. Anybody else going through anything similar and do you think i should go to the wedding? I have 6 days to decide. I've gone past hating her and feel i'm healing well but the thoughts of her with another guy after 4 years with me gets me down. I decided to reply and said 'thanks for letting me know and i wish you all the best.' Would it be best just not to go? I think i'm just suffering a relapse when you hear your ex has moved i guess:(
Homies Over Hoes Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 i wouldnt go. just sounds like a bad idea especially if you are still not over her
mike5770 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I would say if you were more over her to go or if you thinkyou can do it do it. Be happy and gracious and say hi to them and shake his hand like you don't have a care in the world then quickly leave them and talk to other people for the rest of the night. I think she really did that to get a rise out of you and to guage your reaction with her saying that. Some girls and guys get off on the attention. If you could pull it off would be a great opportunity to put it right back in her face especially if you don't have a date. Use it as an opportunity to meet those lonely brides maids and get some numbers, When she sees that she is not making you miserable and can and will definately survive and thrive without her you may just get a call"THis is ex...i think we need to talk about some loose ends blah blah blah.." Translation I want you back....IF YOU GO DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL AS THIS COULD BE A DISASTER!! Just my thoughts good luck with what you decide to do.
Author Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 I would say if you were more over her to go or if you thinkyou can do it do it. Be happy and gracious and say hi to them and shake his hand like you don't have a care in the world then quickly leave them and talk to other people for the rest of the night. I think she really did that to get a rise out of you and to guage your reaction with her saying that. Some girls and guys get off on the attention. If you could pull it off would be a great opportunity to put it right back in her face especially if you don't have a date. Use it as an opportunity to meet those lonely brides maids and get some numbers, When she sees that she is not making you miserable and can and will definately survive and thrive without her you may just get a call"THis is ex...i think we need to talk about some loose ends blah blah blah.." Translation I want you back....IF YOU GO DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL AS THIS COULD BE A DISASTER!! Just my thoughts good luck with what you decide to do. Thanks Mike i appreciate your post. I am thinking the way your thinking and i honestly do feel over her enough to just get it out of my system and go and enjoy myself. I would shake the guys hand and wish them well if i saw them just to show her that i'm a bigger person and as you said i can get by without her. I supose just reading the text set me back a bit as i always suspected she prob met somebody but to read it from her hit home that she's never coming back. To make matters worse our old landlord called today and told me to collect some mail at my ex and i's old apartment. But i went down and got it and did'nt feel to bad. Maybe it was a the slap in the face i needed and it tested how far i've progressed but i am a little sad today nevertheless.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 why are you still dealing with this, you ex is meant to be your past. So leave it there.
Author Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 why are you still dealing with this, you ex is meant to be your past. So leave it there. well its not as simple as that. if it was as simple as that none of us would be on the forum. I am dealing with it and have been for almost 4 months now. I've had little or no contact, i've been going out with friends, working out and getting on with my life but when something like this comes up its only natural that its going to set you back. we're not broken up that long. A year down the line and maybe i could deal with it better but when my ex texts me and tells me she's met somebody else and i have to see them the following week i think most people would feel a bit down.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 well its not as simple as that. if it was as simple as that none of us would be on the forum. I am dealing with it and have been for almost 4 months now. I've had little or no contact, i've been going out with friends, working out and getting on with my life but when something like this comes up its only natural that its going to set you back. we're not broken up that long. A year down the line and maybe i could deal with it better but when my ex texts me and tells me she's met somebody else and i have to see them the following week i think most people would feel a bit down. Well then ignore her texts and erase her number from your phone. Why are you even responding to it. rebuild your life the way you want to.
Author Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Well then ignore her texts and erase her number from your phone. Why are you even responding to it. rebuild your life the way you want to. i have erased her number but she obviously kept mine. I do agree i prob should'nt have answered but as i said i don't hate or have bitterness towards her anymore so i wished her all the best. I think if i was'nt seeing her next week it would'nt have got to me today.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Bring someone hot when you go. that always helps! lol.
Author Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Bring someone hot when you go. that always helps! lol. LOL i was thinking that. It might cost me some money by the hour but it could be worth it
Bobby2010 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 You either: A. Go and wear a big smile throughout the day, mingle like crazy. And Ignore her, pay no attention to her. or B. If A is too difficult, don't go.
WiseOne1 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Im not really sure of how told you about the ex, did the ex call you and tell you about her having a new man? Or did the friend? Either ways, you should go, yes go! Especially if the ex talks to this new girl, you wouldn't want her telling the ex that "he came because he was to sad to see you with someone else" It doesn't look good. You ever heard the phrase "fake it to you make it" well thats what you need to do, go there dressed as sharp as possible, with a huge smile, very confident, and act as if you have no care in the world. If you can somehow get a date that would add to it, or even a female friend. Either way don't let this beat you up, sure u'll feel weird at the wedding, but still go.
WiseOne1 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 LOL i was thinking that. It might cost me some money by the hour but it could be worth it Dude, go in there like your on cloud 9.
Author Nedved Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Im not really sure of how told you about the ex, did the ex call you and tell you about her having a new man? Or did the friend? Either ways, you should go, yes go! Especially if the ex talks to this new girl, you wouldn't want her telling the ex that "he came because he was to sad to see you with someone else" It doesn't look good. You ever heard the phrase "fake it to you make it" well thats what you need to do, go there dressed as sharp as possible, with a huge smile, very confident, and act as if you have no care in the world. If you can somehow get a date that would add to it, or even a female friend. Either way don't let this beat you up, sure u'll feel weird at the wedding, but still go. Thanks man!! that post cheered me up. I needed that. Yes your right i think i'l go with my head held high and just enjoy the day. I'l be as happy as i alwyas was and show her i don't need her in my life. Maybe i could get a girl to come with me. I know one in particular that might come with me and she'd be good company for the day. But thanks again Wiseone;)
WiseOne1 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Exactly, so if you do get a date, thats great, do expect your ex to give you crazy looks and maybe even say something smart to you, ex's are like that, even though they have another man, jealousy always over flows a womens mind. Also if you don't bring a date, im pretty sure somehow she'll get around to you, meaning lie, say that your new gf is something that she always wanted to be, for example if your ex wanted to be a doctor, say "my gf couldn't make it shes a doctor" ya know?? I went through the same thing your going through, my ex and I shared a mutual friend and I was told that my ex was going to the city fair with her new BF, I showed up with my pretend GF, and I was looking out the corner of my eye the entire fair "once my ex stared at me for 4 minutes str8" or every time her date would leave her to go and do something. At first I wasn't going to go, but I knew that she would go cloud 9 if she thought she had me so whipped that im scared to go places now.
jlr Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I just went to a wedding over the weekend. I DJ'ed it. The thing is, my and ex and I were to go together. We knew about it for a long time now. She was going to do all the hair for the bridal party. The people getting married are friends of mine from out of town. She'd only met them a few times. After we broke up last October, she still said she was going to go with me. We were still sorta back and forth with things. And then around May when she suddenly found a new guy, she finally backed out. At first she blamed work, then finally copped to the truth and said she wouldn't be able to be at a wedding with me, it'd be too hard. I'm glad. I think was probably better for me in the long run, if she was there I would have fell apart. It was already difficult just seeing others in love - I cried the whole drive home the next day. I don't think I would have went if she still did, especially with her new dude. And if I did go, it probably wouldn't have been a pleasant night. Good luck in whatever you choose. It's a tough one.
Author Nedved Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I just went to a wedding over the weekend. I DJ'ed it. The thing is, my and ex and I were to go together. We knew about it for a long time now. She was going to do all the hair for the bridal party. The people getting married are friends of mine from out of town. She'd only met them a few times. After we broke up last October, she still said she was going to go with me. We were still sorta back and forth with things. And then around May when she suddenly found a new guy, she finally backed out. At first she blamed work, then finally copped to the truth and said she wouldn't be able to be at a wedding with me, it'd be too hard. I'm glad. I think was probably better for me in the long run, if she was there I would have fell apart. It was already difficult just seeing others in love - I cried the whole drive home the next day. I don't think I would have went if she still did, especially with her new dude. And if I did go, it probably wouldn't have been a pleasant night. Good luck in whatever you choose. It's a tough one. Thanks jlr and sorry to hear you went through that. Its a very arkward situation and i wish it was'nt so soon on the horizon. She only told me 2 days ago she met another guy so that alone is hard to deal with but after nearly 4 months i can deal with that to a certain extent but now i have to see them together. i'l have to get myself a date!! its the only way i'l get through it.
WiseOne1 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Thanks jlr and sorry to hear you went through that. Its a very arkward situation and i wish it was'nt so soon on the horizon. She only told me 2 days ago she met another guy so that alone is hard to deal with but after nearly 4 months i can deal with that to a certain extent but now i have to see them together. i'l have to get myself a date!! its the only way i'l get through it. See thats what im talking about, thats the spirit. Anyways though, it was her that told you she was going to the wedding with her new man?? Because if so she has some ego, to warn u like ur some sick puppy ro something, she has some nerve.
Author Nedved Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Exactly, so if you do get a date, thats great, do expect your ex to give you crazy looks and maybe even say something smart to you, ex's are like that, even though they have another man, jealousy always over flows a womens mind. Also if you don't bring a date, im pretty sure somehow she'll get around to you, meaning lie, say that your new gf is something that she always wanted to be, for example if your ex wanted to be a doctor, say "my gf couldn't make it shes a doctor" ya know?? I went through the same thing your going through, my ex and I shared a mutual friend and I was told that my ex was going to the city fair with her new BF, I showed up with my pretend GF, and I was looking out the corner of my eye the entire fair "once my ex stared at me for 4 minutes str8" or every time her date would leave her to go and do something. At first I wasn't going to go, but I knew that she would go cloud 9 if she thought she had me so whipped that im scared to go places now. You certaintly got her attention there dude!! I do feel if i don't show up she'l think and know its because of her and i don't want that. Even if its eating me up inside i think i'm gonna go. If i went alone i would use the old 'doctor' style line. There is a girl that lives near me and my ex was always jealous of her for some reason. she's a real nice pretty girl who's always got on very well with me. I know it'd eat her up if i brought her However i'm almost 4 months broken up with my ex so maybe it'l be a good test to see how far i've come. I always feared i'd be devastated if i heard she met another guy but 2 days after hearing it i'm okay with it so i'm well on my way to recovery. i just did'nt think i'd have to see him 1 week after she told me.
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