Some people have delusions of granduer

[BCCA]

Thing is a lot of women fail to realize they are competing with all the other women out there, and the men at the top can only marry one woman.

 

Well, women are used to having more power than men when it comes to who to date, so its only natural that some go over board or expect the moon. Where it becomes a problem is when people complain about being single, yet turn down guys for the slightest reason without any thought of what they bring to the table.

 

If youre a 5, man or woman, you dont deserve a 10. Sorry, thats reality. I dont care if so and so is dating a hottie and he/she is fat, they got lucky.

 

People either bring more to the table or lower their expectations. Or get screwed over by males exploiting this desire, and turn it into a chance to get sex.

 

Somehow along the way, the act of having sex is now completely a mans fault. Nevermind the fact that women sleep with these guys willingly, these guys are creeps for sleeping with them and not calling back or wanting to date them seriously. Personal accountability, anyone?

[WineCountry]

QUOTE But it is also based on the idea that fat people have to go through a lot of hard work to lose weight, and bitches only need to show a little kindness and think before they speak once in a while.

 

 

Not being an arse here. But, what got most fat people in their situation in the first place??

 

So, just what kind of "hard work" besides not eating big macs and gallons of ice cream and doing a bit of exercise is needed?

 

And im not talking about people with medical issues. A LOT of people are overweight simply because they have poor eating habits. And losing weight is only 'hard' because the person just wont get over their willingness to indulge. They are slaves to it.

 

We call that 'hard' but is it the same as back breaking work in a field or something? No. And I speak from experience. I let myself gain an extra 15-20 pounds once. Merely because I ate junk and quit exercising. PERIOD. When I watched what I ate, and got off my butt and exercised..it came off. Now, im back into my routine of cardio and weights, and my body is in much better shape.

 

Sorry..but for a lot of people, that is their problem; not willing to stop overindulging in the wrong things. And again..I speak from experience, and from watching friends of mine who are overweight, or who WERE at time. And again..I am NOT talking about people with medical problems. That's different.

 

I dont think its too wrong of the OP to suggest that if folks want to attract what they like, they should be willing to improve in all aspects of themselves also.

 

Fair is fair.

[WineCountry]

QUOTE If youre a 5, man or woman, you dont deserve a 10. Sorry, thats reality. I dont care if so and so is dating a hottie and he/she is fat, they got lucky

 

 

See, i wouldnt say the person doesnt "deserve" a 10 unless the person is not doing things to improve themselves. Such as refusing to get a job, bad hygiene, bad manners, unkempt hair, overweight, criminal behavior, etc. Things you CAN control. THEN i would say they dont 'deserve' a 10.

 

BUT..if the person is a sweet heart, hard working, nice manners, caring, giving, but unfortunately maybe just looks like the elephant man, then i would say he/she probably deserves a 10 but just wont GET one, because..well..that is just reality, like you said. Harsh, but reality.

[underpants]

Oh my goodness.

 

This thread is so young and cute.

 

H, please relax your arms. That disturbs me.

 

You have some general good points but the superficial stuff is silly.

 

At some point rewarding and lasting relationships rely on emotional and intellectual connections.

 

One can only bag so many beautiful, perfect Lays potato chips for so long before they feel full and empty at the same time.

[Hkizzle]

Oh my goodness.

 

This thread is so young and cute.

 

H, please relax your arms. That disturbs me.

 

You have some general good points but the superficial stuff is silly.

 

At some point rewarding and lasting relationships rely on emotional and intellectual connections.

 

One can only bag so many beautiful, perfect Lays potato chips for so long before they feel full and empty at the same time.

 

hahaha, I can't relax my arms, I have a severe motor neuron disorder which means I have to flex all the time.

 

In an ideal world no one is superficial, in an ideal world there is also world peace.

 

In the real world there are wars in many places and have been throughout human history, and most people are superficial. At least at the beginning when they are picking their partners. When they're picked the person then of course it's down to emotional and intellectual connections.

 

But I find it funny how you only refer to emotion and intellectual, when any decent honest dating coach will say the best relationships are based on emotional, intellectual and physical.

[EarthGirl]

Well, women are used to having more power than men when it comes to who to date, so its only natural that some go over board or expect the moon. Where it becomes a problem is when people complain about being single, yet turn down guys for the slightest reason without any thought of what they bring to the table.

 

If youre a 5, man or woman, you dont deserve a 10. Sorry, thats reality. I dont care if so and so is dating a hottie and he/she is fat, they got lucky.

 

 

 

Somehow along the way, the act of having sex is now completely a mans fault. Nevermind the fact that women sleep with these guys willingly, these guys are creeps for sleeping with them and not calling back or wanting to date them seriously. Personal accountability, anyone?

 

personal accountability is fine, but in my experience the women that get their hearts beaten and bloodied the worst (sometimes they are the ones that complain in public or on message boards, sometimes they kinda keep to themselves) are the ones that had guys wooing them dramatically, writing songs for them, poems, painting their portrait over and over, whatever...bordering on a little stalkerish but detached enough still for the woman to feel comfortable especially if she really likes him too...but making it very clear that the man is interest for a fairly long amount of time...

 

what many MEN do not understand is that when a man says things like "I know we only met 3 weeks ago but I really feel like I am falling in love with you, I am not sure I have ever felt this way before, in fact I know I haven't, and I can't stop thinking about you, I'd do anything to be with you, and if you would not have me, I would still do anything just to make you happy"

 

or something that is more or less the equivalent as that, however they say it, through words, lyrics, emails, gifts, art...whatever...

 

men do not realize that when they make something so very clear that it is natural and logical for women to actually BELIEVE them...imagine that. And they say it is women who are the illogical creatures. Men often do like "the chase" and the challenge and making a big display like they see in the movies (women are not the only ones to get sucked in by that stuff)...but then when the woman starts to believe it and likes them back and lets them in more, they often panic, get confused, are not sure they really meant what they said, at least as fervently as they said it...and start going about the process of making the woman believe that she may have made a "mountain out of a mole hill" and was "reading too much into things", making her think she is crazy...Essentially trying to erase history. Sometimes these displays are not quite as obvious, and a little more subtle than I have described above, but they have DEFINITE signs of real feelings on the part of the man, that anyone would say at hearing them, he is making it obvious he is really into you....not only accidental signs of attraction, but both those and obvious overtures to signal he is in fact "wooing" and wants her to know it. This is fine when a man is honest if he is a you know pansexual or whatever...a free love type of guy that does not like to be tied down...But here is my advice as a woman to men in general...While women are all different in what they want in life (some are in fact pansexual and free loving too as a chosen lifestyle for life) and also depending on the phase of their life currently and their past history and current situation, they may also be looking to "just have fun"

 

...BUT it is probably statistically a safer bet, for your default when going into a relationship (or just going into a woman ; ) to assume that it's quite possible that she will develop real feelings for you and want a commitment at some point, even if it is a ways away. Some people actually believe that that is what "hooking up" is really all about. It's not wrong to think about it differently, but you have to understand it's natural for other people to have different ideas than you. You really should assume that pretty much off the bat, literally within minutes of meeting a cutie that you have your eye on.

 

It's totally ok to shop around, like the song says, and you don't have to tell them on the very first date that that is what you are doing, but pretty early on you should let them know if you are dating other people, and a little further in when you either are or are not having strong feelings, you should just TELL her. Because you have no right to f*ck her if she thinks you feel strongly for her but it is actually a lie.

 

If it is a mutual act of either no feelings or unsure feelings on either or both sides but all information is known and shared, and it is an adult consensual sexual act for the experience, that is totally different and kosher. This simple act of being direct and honest will save a lot of heartache for both the women you sleep with AND you yourself (by the way, kissing her and making love to her passionately and taking care of her when she is sick, etc. can be a real indication to HER that you really like her seriously (doesn't sound like a totally out there conclusion to me) even without words...so intentional omission of your real intentions is a sort of lying as well, while not quite as much of an offense perhaps)...It can't always save you or them from all pain and damage, but it is a safety measure that can make it much easier and to at least keep everyone alive and surviving till they can heal and be happy again.

 

There is only a case for personal accountability if a woman sleeps with a man and allows herself to have feelings WHILE he is being honest with her that he is not sure of his and/or he may not be able to commit or even call her back. It does not count when the wool is intentionally and sneakily pulled over your eyes.

 

sorry, I have not had this problem in a long time, I am lucky to have someone who really loves me and calls me back every time, and I can really trust...but I had to say all that, to defend womankind.

[underpants]

hahaha, I can't relax my arms, I have a severe motor neuron disorder which means I have to flex all the time.

 

That is funny. I hope you get help for that. At least kiss one to let the ladies know you have a sensitive side.

 

In an ideal world no one is superficial, in an ideal world there is also world peace.

 

In the real world there are wars in many places and have been throughout human history, and most people are superficial. At least at the beginning when they are picking their partners. When they're picked the person then of course it's down to emotional and intellectual connections.

 

But I find it funny how you only refer to emotion and intellectual, when any decent honest dating coach will say the best relationships are based on emotional, intellectual and physical.

 

 

 

Hmmm, in an "ideal world" would we not chose are own partners to suit our personified personalities. It seems as though we do so through acceptance, trial and rejection or acceptance. i.e ...being real...not reality tv real, but real.

 

We all carve our own path and comparing your choices to "levels" is well kind of like playing a video game, but maybe that is what it is now?

 

It must suck to get to level 10 and realize the princess you saved from the Mario Brothers is a Royal Pain?

[Hkizzle]

Men should place more weight on the overall picture rather than looks alone and women wouldn't be so inclined to feel entitled just because we have what the average guy wants most.

 

 

Supply and demand my friend....sad but it's just the way the cookie crumbles.

 

We do place more weight on the overall picture. We filter via looks first, and then get to know the girl, and we settle down with the girls with nice personalities.

 

Some of the girls I know with the lowest self esteems ironically are the best looking girls. They attract so many men so pick the most outgoing ones, often players. Then the men get to know them and find out they're really boring with no personality. Have sex with them and then leave.

 

It happens to those girls again and again, and their self esteem plummets. What they haven't figured out is looks only get them lots of guys at the beginning.

 

A woman doesn't have to be hot. She just needs to be decent looking and then work on her personality. It's really just that simple, be well rounded as an individual. If a person lacks in one department, work on it.

 

Same goes for men of course.

[vanilla87]

Okay after readings ALL the posts in this thread I've come to a conclusion: everyone is delusional about how people really think in the real world.

 

Okay truth be told, really attractive guys, have a mind like the guy who wrote the book "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", cause lets face it, they are very cocky type of guys who think they can score any babe they want. Trust me, I've been around enough to know they like to drink, party, race cars, have sex with many women, drink, watch porn, sex, drink, sleep, eat, and again not in that same order, but thats what attractive guys, who are jerks.

 

They don't care about girls feelings. This isn't from some personal experience, so don't go psycho analyzing me peeps. My point is, that you gotta pop that bubble and go out there and talk to people. You will be surprised at how many lie about what they truly want. Every one saves face and lies about the top thing they want: an attractive mate.

 

Doesn't matter what else you like, in the first 15 seconds a guy knows if he wants to date/hook up/ fall in love with a girl. It takes that quickly. Thats why first impressions are highly important for females when they are looking for a mate. For women it takes about anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes to determined if she wants to date the guy, cause we give him the benefit of the doubt, unless she is an airhead or bitch, she will be bored asap, so personality is important.

 

I will say this, the more attractive a girl is, the more she is either willing to date a guy just a little less attractive then her or someone who is 10x's attractive then her.

 

I will say that average looking guys are well more fantasy prone in going after women then women are about men. Also women will be fantasy prone more when they date a guy in the first 3 months of a relationship, men are not. They will be cruel if you don't cut the mold on what they are looking for. Guys will even stop calling if they want to save face, even if you've been dating for 3-6 months, they will just go *poof* out of the blue, even prince charming will do it if he doesn't want to be with you and chooses the easy way out.

 

I think you all have your ideals and it seems like they all sit on their own little special pedestal. But when someone comes a long and tells you their opinions are more important, you freak and defend why its better. Well if someone pops it and its like "omg maybe they are right, I guess maybe its not as GREAT as it really was...", thats what your trying to do to each one of you on here. See the thing is your all so wrapped up in what you've been use to for years, you don't realize that maybe people are more brutal in how they think then what they will say out loud. And trust me if you all knew the truth, you would be dropping jaws, more so the women here, then the men... okay maybe the fantasy prone men would, but still...

[Sam Spade]

Yeah but I am not just talking about hot women, I am talking about women in general of average good looks and above not just super hot. We know and understand exactly how powerful our sexual and physical appeal is, moreso than men's, if you think about it. If we feel we have what men want most, then we become more picky.

 

Ok so I have what he wants and it seems ALL guys want the same thing, I have my pick of the crop.

 

See... this "simplicity" that men pride themselves in having, is really their own worst enemy.

 

 

But that's precisely the delusion that the OP is talking about - I surely am thoroughly unimpressed by the common girl who walks around with huge self esteem for no reason other than there will always be a guy - somewhere - willing to put up with her to get laid . Big deal. It still gives me no reason to put in the effort.

[EarthGirl]

QUOTE But it is also based on the idea that fat people have to go through a lot of hard work to lose weight, and bitches only need to show a little kindness and think before they speak once in a while.

 

 

Not being an arse here. But, what got most fat people in their situation in the first place??

 

So, just what kind of "hard work" besides not eating big macs and gallons of ice cream and doing a bit of exercise is needed?

 

And im not talking about people with medical issues. A LOT of people are overweight simply because they have poor eating habits. And losing weight is only 'hard' because the person just wont get over their willingness to indulge. They are slaves to it.

 

We call that 'hard' but is it the same as back breaking work in a field or something? No. And I speak from experience. I let myself gain an extra 15-20 pounds once. Merely because I ate junk and quit exercising. PERIOD. When I watched what I ate, and got off my butt and exercised..it came off. Now, im back into my routine of cardio and weights, and my body is in much better shape.

 

Sorry..but for a lot of people, that is their problem; not willing to stop overindulging in the wrong things. And again..I speak from experience, and from watching friends of mine who are overweight, or who WERE at time. And again..I am NOT talking about people with medical problems. That's different.

 

I dont think its too wrong of the OP to suggest that if folks want to attract what they like, they should be willing to improve in all aspects of themselves also.

 

Fair is fair.

 

well you are being an a$s. I really already explained all this in great detail, I think you have just skipped some posts. To YOU exercising and eating right is easy. To ME, I crave junk food and sweets constantly to the point that I am almost crying sometimes when I cant' get them, and I get hungry again within an hour of eating a big meal, and a few hours later my stomach is so hungry to the point that I am actually in real physical pain and the only way to stop it is to fill my stomach again. I try to exercise and I have a panic attack because my mind starts going all weird and I get flashbacks to when I was thin and active and dancing which would be good right, but then come flashbacks to my first depression and the time I swallowed the pills, and I start hyperventilating, quite beyond my control...for some people exercise can be very helpful with depression, the endorphins and all, but for others it gives their minds time to wander, all the while doing something that is not necessarily comfortable or pleasant, they are feeling muscle burn in their legs and arms and heart, trying to "keep it up!" "don't give up!", "breathe", and they can panic and give up. For me the panic feels kinda like a bomb just went off on my city and everything is going to be a lot harder from now on and I might not survive...kinda like the world is deserted too, I am alone and I keep getting reminded the more I move of all the terrible horrible things that could happen to me...diseases, serial killers, etc.. It is really hard to explain, but nevertheless....rarely do I feel so vulnerable as when I am exercising. Ironically I think it may partly be because i Long so much to get moving like I used to, and once upon a time it made me feel so FREE, but I panic...like I said hard to explain.

 

It is in fact quite impossible for me to lose weight when I am depressed. you can think that makes me lazy or you can think it makes me weak, which ever one is worse to you, but I make no apologies to you because I don't actually care what you think of me.

 

Fortunately I am currently feeling quite hopeful, so I know that finally there is a real chance for me.. I have lost a significant amount of weight before, gained it all back and more, but I do know not only I, but my body can do it.

 

Again, your mistake is in assuming that what is easy for you is equally easy for others. For some people drawing is easy as breathing and they are great artists, some people can barely draw stick figures. For some people singing is easy, the are just born with the gift, even without a single lesson, other people go on American Idol and screech their lungs out and are told that they need to keep their day job because no matter how much they practice they will never be a good singer.

 

It's completely naive and irrational for you to assume that diet and exercise would be fairly easy or even just moderately difficult for me so I have no excuse for not doing it until now. I have not only have had different life experiences than you, but I have a different body than you wether it is thin or fat...my body reacts differently to food than yours does, and my mind and emotional state react differently to exercise. It actually FEELS different to me than it does to you. Just like some people can take the cold better than others regardless of the climate of where they are from.. Why would you assume a stranger is just a no good lazy bum? you don't know me.

 

So no ...fair is NOT always fair, and things are NOT always black and white. And it is NOT always about simply having a "wilingness to indulge"...

 

It makes no difference if a person has a technical medical condition or not...at this point this argument is less about a judgemental A-hole like yourself...and more about the patheticness of your ability not only to empathize, but also to think on a higher level than the black and white world of a 3rd grader and what they can understand at that point not having an adult mind and not having a full education.

 

And as I said, I think a few times in other posts (this is why I am inclined to believe you did not read everything, which is understandable when I write such long posts, I do not like to read every word of long threads either, I don't have the attention span), I do think that any good person DESERVES a ten, but I do not believe a person should necessarily GET a ten if they are not a ten themselves, or whatever. If a person is ok with dating a less attractive person then more power to that couple, I think that is great, but I never disagreed with original post, in fact I am in complete agreement...if you skim over some of my posts, I have total understanding of this issue and have a reason to be particularly understanding.

 

Its the fat bashing that I have a problem with and guess what even if I could eat whatever I wanted and I never had been fat, I would STILL have a problem with it, because I AM a person capable of empathy and higher thinking, and indeed lots of other afflictions that people have, that I have no problem with, I do not judge them for it, cause I simply do not know what it feels like to be inside their mind, their body, their life.

 

 

 

ok I'm done with this thread. I have had enough. This is simply raw hostility, prejudice, and childish behavior. As I said I do not need your approval, even though apparently for a minute I thought I did since I wrote these several long posts..but I do not really care what you think and it would not bother me at all if I never saw this thread again or ever even found out what your response is...not even for curiosity's sake.

 

p.s. I think if you expect me to bust my butt in a gym and trade in pizza for a bland salad almost every day for the rest of my life and perhaps even have a slight rumble in my stomach every second for the rest of my life...in order to change from a fatty into a healthy fit person that doesn't mess up your pretty little world....then it would be reasonable for me to expect you to do whatever necessary "work"(perhaps a little study of history and philosophy would be a good start) it would take to change you from a total unbelievable A-hole, to a kinder soul with a more sophisticated mind.

 

Oh what's that?....I have no right to tell you what to do, how to live your life, and impose my ideals on you, a stranger?

[vanilla87]

But that's precisely the delusion that the OP is talking about - I surely am thoroughly unimpressed by the common girl who walks around with huge self esteem for no reason other than there will always be a guy - somewhere - willing to put up with her to get laid . Big deal. It still gives me no reason to put in the effort.

 

You know who has those delusions? celebrities. Cause they think they are so hot and have so many fans, that they can have whomever they want in the world and whatever they want too.

 

Doesn't matter if your Jennifer or Brad or the girl next door, if your hot, your hot, but if your hot and not humble about it, your delusional about the people your attracted to in the world.

[Rudderless]

Not to pop your bubble but delusions of something or another don't apply just to dating. Do you really need to spend so much energy on an internet forum stating something the vast majority of people learn during their teenage years like it's an epiphany? Reality check needed.

[vanilla87]

Not to pop your bubble but delusions of something or another don't apply just to dating. Do you really need to spend so much energy on an internet forum stating something the vast majority of people learn during their teenage years like it's an epiphany? Reality check needed.

 

Then why are you here posting if you think its a waste of time to be pointing out something that doesn't make sense in the real world?

[EarthGirl]

Okay after readings ALL the posts in this thread I've come to a conclusion: everyone is delusional about how people really think in the real world.

 

Okay truth be told, really attractive guys, have a mind like the guy who wrote the book "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", cause lets face it, they are very cocky type of guys who think they can score any babe they want. Trust me, I've been around enough to know they like to drink, party, race cars, have sex with many women, drink, watch porn, sex, drink, sleep, eat, and again not in that same order, but thats what attractive guys, who are jerks.

 

They don't care about girls feelings. This isn't from some personal experience, so don't go psycho analyzing me peeps. My point is, that you gotta pop that bubble and go out there and talk to people. You will be surprised at how many lie about what they truly want. Every one saves face and lies about the top thing they want: an attractive mate.

 

Doesn't matter what else you like, in the first 15 seconds a guy knows if he wants to date/hook up/ fall in love with a girl. It takes that quickly. Thats why first impressions are highly important for females when they are looking for a mate. For women it takes about anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes to determined if she wants to date the guy, cause we give him the benefit of the doubt, unless she is an airhead or bitch, she will be bored asap, so personality is important.

 

I will say this, the more attractive a girl is, the more she is either willing to date a guy just a little less attractive then her or someone who is 10x's attractive then her.

 

I will say that average looking guys are well more fantasy prone in going after women then women are about men. Also women will be fantasy prone more when they date a guy in the first 3 months of a relationship, men are not. They will be cruel if you don't cut the mold on what they are looking for. Guys will even stop calling if they want to save face, even if you've been dating for 3-6 months, they will just go *poof* out of the blue, even prince charming will do it if he doesn't want to be with you and chooses the easy way out.

 

I think you all have your ideals and it seems like they all sit on their own little special pedestal. But when someone comes a long and tells you their opinions are more important, you freak and defend why its better. Well if someone pops it and its like "omg maybe they are right, I guess maybe its not as GREAT as it really was...", thats what your trying to do to each one of you on here. See the thing is your all so wrapped up in what you've been use to for years, you don't realize that maybe people are more brutal in how they think then what they will say out loud. And trust me if you all knew the truth, you would be dropping jaws, more so the women here, then the men... okay maybe the fantasy prone men would, but still...

 

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.

Anne Frank

[Rudderless]

Then why are you here posting if you think its a waste of time to be pointing out something that doesn't make sense in the real world?

 

LOL because frankly if you're going to offer up a ridiculous point for discussion the response to your thread should warrant something appropriate. This thread is like stating that some people need to stop being alcoholic, and the way to get along in life is not to drink. I didn't realise it warranted more in depth thought and discussion than something along the lines of, duh, yeah.

[EarthGirl]

LOL because frankly if you're going to offer up a ridiculous point for discussion the response to your thread should warrant something appropriate. This thread is like stating that some people need to stop being alcoholic, and the way to get along in life is not to drink. I didn't realise it warranted more in depth thought and discussion than something along the lines of, duh, yeah.

 

Exactly. And some alcoholics will try to recover and fail. And some of them just didn't try hard enough, maybe were bad people or lazy, weren't there for their family, etc.. And it is one thing for their family to judge and be angry but a whole other thing for citizens of this world to judge random other people based on a very limited perception of their life. ...others may have really tried damn hard and really tried to go all the way and gave it a real "go", as the british would say, but had really bad horrific events happen in their lives and they turned back to drinking because they almost could not help it, maybe died of it, the end, the next world hopefully they don't need the chemicals to feel ok or at all safe in the world.

 

And some will try to quit and recover over and over and over again and just not give up and will eventually be successful after all that hard work. But it is not any of our places to judge them for not getting there sooner. And some may even have it relatively easy and have one intervention of their family/friends, go to rehab that day, and never drink again and have a happy life. Or maybe it was super hard for them but they are just a superhero and really tough and a good person unlike many of us maybe. But is it not for any of us to judge who of these cases is the "better" person.

 

It's just simply not your place to judge me as lazy or bad...nor is it within your capacity of understanding and knowledge of consciousness to be able to determine that one way or the other.

 

This is a totally pointless and "duh!" thread, and the only reason for all the extensive argument is because of unessecary bullying.

[Hkizzle]

LOL because frankly if you're going to offer up a ridiculous point for discussion the response to your thread should warrant something appropriate. This thread is like stating that some people need to stop being alcoholic, and the way to get along in life is not to drink. I didn't realise it warranted more in depth thought and discussion than something along the lines of, duh, yeah.

 

That's the point! My OP points to such an obvious point yet so many people disagree with me. Shows how a huge % of the population live in an idealistic la la land, and don't want to accept the true competitive nature of the world.

 

It's not a waste of time. I'm learning how people react to my OP, that in itself is interesting and tells me a lot about human thinking.

[Hkizzle]

And I'm sorry but I am confused about something, all the time all people ever talk about is how you have to be self confident and self confidence is the ticket and that's sexy and that's what is most appealing blah blah blah, now you refer to average women who display self confidence as being delusional?

 

See you guys are never happy, when we are insecure it's not good enough when we are too secure it's also not good enough, but if she is drop dead gorgeous and she is very secure then it's ok? You are basically saying what I am trying to say, men place top value on physical appeal only...everythying else is just filler.

 

I disagree with Sam's use of self esteem. I would call it pride. Self esteem is good, too much pride is bad. There's a subtle difference between self esteem and pride, and I'm not just saying this about women, but all people.

[vanilla87]

That's the point! My OP points to such an obvious point yet so many people disagree with me. Shows how a huge % of the population live in an idealistic la la land, and don't want to accept the true competitive nature of the world.

 

Its sad actually how people still live in a fantasy land when they are trying to get with someone. People really don't see why they still don't have someone and wonder what everyone else problem is, yet its their problem. Their negative energy they put out in the universe is killing their chances. I'm not saying don't be realistic, cause thats down right stupid, but be opened to the idea that maybe its you not them in the long run...

 

 

 

It's not a waste of time. I'm learning how people react to my OP, that in itself is interesting and tells me a lot about human thinking.

 

haha you sounds like your doing a paper on a psych course your taking...

[Hkizzle]

haha you sounds like your doing a paper on a psych course your taking...

 

No actually I'm writing a self help book.

 

Maufacturers do stress tests of their products.

 

I'm stress testing the general population to see what type of concepts they can accept or reject. Unfortunately I can't write in the most logical way, I have to write in a user friendly manner.

[Rudderless]

That's the point! My OP points to such an obvious point yet so many people disagree with me. Shows how a huge % of the population live in an idealistic la la land, and don't want to accept the true competitive nature of the world.

 

Right, which is equally as bad as being unable accept that addicts and fantasists also couple up, which is what you would do if you're rejecting the human component of the world. If you're going to bring it down to an economic argument about supply and demand you should know that markets don't always act rationally.

[Hkizzle]

you should know that markets don't always act rationally.

 

Exactly, hence why I need to start so many threads to test how people react irrationally to certain concepts.

 

The good thing about chaos (theory) is there's order even in the chaos.

[theBrokenMuse]

So, what I am getting from this thread is that if someone doesn't place their values in human beings traits in the same manner as the general population of their society does, that makes one delusional? Really? I mean it's not as if the general public at large is spoon-fed most of these values from their cultures which happens to oftentimes spout some of the stupidest brainfodder imaginable, right? I mean it's not as if the general population is often uneducated, gullible, intellectually lazy, easily lead or apathetic to introspection, right?

 

I'll tell you what, you tell me why I or anyone else should pick a tier-system that's based first and foremost on the way a person's molecules are arranged and explain why that's a superior method for choosing a lifelong mate than actually being more concerned with, you know, all the actual traits that can make someone a decent partner with less emphasis on the physical then perhaps I'll concede. Otherwise, stop being so smugly condescending as to insist that anyone who doesn't follow the value system you apparently subscribe to is lazy and delusional.

[espec10001]

I got delusions of granduer, and they say "suck my balls"