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contacted him..nervewracking but followed my heart


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Posted

well i made the decision to call him after he ended it kind of harshly last june..and i even contacted him in october b/c i regretted all my jealousy etc and he said he wasn't ready to do this all over again and he can't right now..if you read my other thread you will see the things he did..now almost a year later i sent him a v-mail......

 

..i sent him a v-mail so it wouldn't ring with my number and possibly interrupt something..i mentioned i have been thinking of him lately, wondering how he is etc and if he wants he can text me back and i left my number in case he didn't have it anymore...he called me back about 3 minutes later and we started talking..i dont remmeber everything word for word b/c it was very nerve wracking, i wasn't expecting his call..i asked him about his mom and how was family etc

 

he was on a vacation with a friend to do something right now..and he said he is very suprised to hear from me after the way things happened so abrupt and how it finalized etc..he did mention my things like he still has it and he wasn't going to throw it away and my heart started to sink a little so i said i regret alot and know if it wasn't for the jealousy most of our problems wouldn't have existed and he was saying hindsight is 20/20 right? and he said im sure i had my flaws too..but i basically put the blame on myself and said no, i don't want to do what i did with whoever i am with and if i knew what it was doing to us and to you it would have stopped, i just never realized it etc....and then he kind of changed the subject and said how is my family and then asked what have i been up to which is when i told him about my traveling and he said very nice and asked who i went with to one of the trips

 

he mentioned he knew my b-day passed and didnt want to call on it and ruin anything and he also knew i didn't want to be friends and thats when i said i dont want to be friends and he says he understands..and at one point in the convo it was brought up how when i contacted him months ago he just didn't want to go through all that again and i said i don't either, i wouldn't to do that again

 

my stuff did get mentioned again and he said something like you would use it again except for maybe that brush in my medicine cabinet(it was all full of hair) and i said bad i know..and he said its still there....and i really tried to get in as best as i could with me being nervous how i wish i could back and do things over and he mentioned i dont believe in changing everything for someone else and i said well this would be for me in general..and then he asked but how can you change like that and just not be that way..something along those lines he siad..and i said well by taking a couple of steps back and asking is this worth reacting to and stressing out about and most times it isn't...he also mentioned it cant be together all the time...and i had no idea what he meant so i asked..and he said like not being able to be out of the person's sight..and i said i know you should have been able to do this or that...and then he mentioned but you should want to do those things too and i agreed and told him i even joined a coed softball league this summer which kind of was a good light topic and he kind of started laughing like i can't picture you doing this and that i would have to see and record etc..and i said no thats embarrassing...we got on the topic of dates and he said you mean to tell me you didn't date anyone..and i didn't know what to say so i said i took some time to myself and then asked him and he said he went out with a few people but nothing b/f and g/f which is what he wanted..he wanted to work and pay off bills etc..so i said ok i expected that..and i mentioned i went on some dates but its not where i wanted to be..and he said there is a lot of garbage out there

 

and when i was mentioning the relationship stuff he said can we talk about this when i get back?

he eventually started to say he is gonna go..i guess b/c his friend was there or they were going somewhere..and maybe i shouldnt have said it but i said do u want to meet up? and he said well i am back this week so i will give you a call and i said ok bye and he said ok expect a call

 

im so nervous..i really tried to explain myself..i wasnt expecting him to call back so fast especially if he was away..its like being heartbroken all over if rejected and he doesnt think a second shot is worth it..but i guess i showed i had heart after all this time

Posted

He honestly doesn't sound interested in you. He doesn't sound like he hates you either, he just sounds like he's decided you are not the one for him. I know what that is like, it hurts. It hurts a lot, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Finding someone who DOES want you, and DOES think you're worth it..is so much better than trying to please someone who doesn't.

Posted

I agree with the above poster that he just does not sound very interested.

 

He seems very cordial and appears to care about your well-being. But seems disinterested in the romantic part. And while he cares about you as a person, he seems to have made peace with the fact that what you both shared, is in the past tense.

 

He also seems ill-prepared to talk about the relationship and that is why he has suspended the "relationship talk". He was caught off guard and he needs time to prepare a response.

 

You gave him enough to chew on and he should be left to do so without any input from you.

 

Cease any further contact with him. Leave the ball in his court and let him make the next move.

 

Any more attempts on your part, will reek with desperation, which is one of the biggest killers in trying to get back with an ex.

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Posted

no i dont plan on contacting him..he said he was going to and to expect a call this week when he gets back.

 

my close friends thinks its somewhat positive b/c he called me back right away and didn't have to and questioned me a little bit like how can that aspect change etc..rather than just disregarding it and saying well it happened for the best...i feel like he should have said something like that if that's how he felt and not say can we discuss this when i get back and let a few days pass with wonderment to just turn me down completely.

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