Taucher Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 I have posted on here about how me and my ex had issues with the flat we once shared. Our landlord did a runner with our deposit (£1500). This issue seemed resolved when the landlord appeared from nowhere and paid the deposit, in full, into my ex's account. So, last Thursday, she emails me and says "I will try to get to a bank tomorrow and pay your half of the deposit into your account. If I cant do it tomorrow, it will have to be Monday. Is that OK?" Well, I didn't reply to this. She told me she will pay it back and I didn't feel like there was anything to say. Now, a week later, and the money is not in my account. Is she trying to get me to email her to reply and say 'Yes, that is fine'? Why has she not paid it in? I feel that I am now gong to have to email her again. But I don't want to. But also, I am worried that she is waiting for me to email before she will pay me the money. Any advice? I'm stuck. T
Ronni_W Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Is this the last 'piece of business' that you guys need to sort out? If you'll be truly okay that there won't be any more excuse-reasons left for you guys to be in touch, then you could just bite the bullet and let her know the money hasn't appeared in your account yet. To me, the sooner you remail her, the sooner you'll be able to stop allowing it to make you crazy thinking about not remailing. Unless you prefer to have a lingering piece of outstanding business with her? In which case, stick to your guns and don't remail her.
Author Taucher Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 This is officially the last piece of business! We have no more links, no more ties once this is cleared up. Based on this, I think you are right, I should mail her. But part of me just wonders what she is doing. Would she pay it back if I didnt reply? I trust her to pay it back completely but I dont know how this will pan out if I dont reply. Is she trying to make me contact her? Tomorrow is her birthday. I dont want to wish her a happy birthday because she is not my friend and she hurt me. And it seems a bit mean to email her specifically on that day and mention only money. So I might email her on Friday and mention it too her then. If I reply, I kind of want her to just pay the money in and NOT say anything, but I have a feeling that she will reply to this. I have no problem with NC. I am intrigued to see what happens (if anything) when we go PROPER NC. With all this flat business we have kept in contact for the last 3 months. So I have felt a bit different from others on here who have gone NC from early on. I want to see what happens to her when I am gone. And I want to finally move on. T
kimbop Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Taucher, if you don't want to email her, why don't you have a close friend be the intermediary and do the emailing for you? She's the one who broke up with you, right? I'm sorry but I don't know your past with her. And she's reaching out to see whether you still want to talk to her or not? If she was considerate and wanted the communication to end, she would have put the money into your account ASAP. Letting it linger and conveniently forgetting about it (especially since it's money and that's something you don't mess around with), she's just being plain mean and disrespectful.
Ronni_W Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 But part of me just wonders what she is doing. Would she pay it back if I didnt reply? I trust her to pay it back completely but I dont know how this will pan out if I dont reply. Is she trying to make me contact her? Does it matter what she is doing...or trying to do, as the case may be? Based on you saying that you trust that she will pay it back completely, then you answered your own question -- you trust that she WILL pay you back even if you don't reply. Yes? I dunno, T. Are you sure there's nothing more going on for you than just not wanting to remail? Have you figured out why you won't remail even though doing that will score you £750? Are you not replying so that you can find out how this will pan out when you don't? Are you trying to make her contact you (again)?
Author Taucher Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Taucher, if you don't want to email her, why don't you have a close friend be the intermediary and do the emailing for you? She's the one who broke up with you, right? I'm sorry but I don't know your past with her. And she's reaching out to see whether you still want to talk to her or not? If she was considerate and wanted the communication to end, she would have put the money into your account ASAP. Letting it linger and conveniently forgetting about it (especially since it's money and that's something you don't mess around with), she's just being plain mean and disrespectful. Yes, she left me. We shared a flat. She moved to her parents, 5 miles away. Yes, I just want her to put the money in without me prompting. It's not hard is it? She owes me this money, she knows it (and she WILL pay it back, I know that much) and she has my bank details (she already made bill payments to my account). So there is some reason why she is doing this. I just cant work out what. Does it matter what she is doing...or trying to do, as the case may be? No, you are right here. I guess it DOESN'T matter what she is doing. I should stop trying to second guess here. I dunno, T. Are you sure there's nothing more going on for you than just not wanting to remail? Have you figured out why you won't remail even though doing that will score you £750? Are you not replying so that you can find out how this will pan out when you don't? Are you trying to make her contact you (again)? Not sure about this. Truthfully, I am sure that if I email her, she will reply. Even if I just say yes please put the money in my account ASAP, I think she will respond. Every email/text she has sent has had personal details about her life and questions about what I am up to. I ignore this, but I dont want to hear it anymore. I dont WANT her to respond. Hearing from her kills me, so I am reluctant to respond as I dont want to hear back. I am hoping that she will pay the money into my account on her own, without my prompting. Will email her tomorrow. Probably.
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