brock9911 Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 on june 2 , 2008 my father passed. as of my fathers fiance of almost 18 years, she said he wanted to be cremated. now my family wanted his body flown back up to n.y. from florida. as his heir i decided to keep his body in florida with his immediate family. after the funeral. now she took on the responsibility of the funeral because i live in ny, and it would have been hard to get things down. after the fact, my family stopped talking to me becasue i didnt bring him up to ny, and than the fiance didnt respond to abotu 20 phone calls over the past 15 months. her house went into forclosure. i tried finding out what she was doing about his ashes. by law the funeral home can disgard his ashes after 120 days. im now recieving phone calls from the veterans association for and insurance policy under my fathers name. low and behold, look who comes calling. now at the same time i was still trying to find out what happened to the ashes. now the family who refuses to talk to me somehow worked out a deal with the funeral home and had the ashes shipped back to n.y., so now they have them. so now his fiance is turned in to collections and hounding me because she wants insurance money, and my family is basically holding my fathers ashes with out letting me have them. what the f*ck am i supposed to do.
laRubiaBonita Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 so there was no will left by your father?
GorillaTheater Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Quite a mess. Besides the question about the will, who is the named beneficiary of the insurance policy?
Author brock9911 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 thats the best part, he never left a will, and the paper work was never finished for the insurance policy.because he never remarried, i was left as the heir to what ever was in his name. he died at 46 years old, so he never thought to write a will. he never took anything seriously so i got left with this mess.
GorillaTheater Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 If you're the beneficiary of the insurance policy, it's yours, will or no will. Share with the fiancee (or not) at your discretion. Since there's no will, and hence no named executor, I'm not sure you're "stuck" with dealing with your father's estate. If you want to be, or feel the need to be the executor, you're going to need to get an attorney. It varies from state to state, but intestate situations are often very tough to navigate.
Author brock9911 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 well unfortunately she is the guardian of my sister (they had a child together). shes entitled to half of the money. but i dont want the fiance to have access to the money. im trying to see if the V.A. will put the money in a trust fund until shes 18. i know from experience that she will spend the money and i dont want that. my grandfather died of asbestos related lung cancer. there was a law suite where my father was supposed to recieve money from the state. when the paper work went to the house after he passed, she tried to forge the documents stating that my sister was the only child so she would get all the money. shes an absolute crook. she only had it denied because my grandmother had to go over the paper work. im not sure how all this goes but this is what iv been finding out along the way.
GorillaTheater Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Unfortunately you probably don't have legal standing to get the VA to establish a trust for your sister, it's going to be the guardian's call. Get an attorney. If money's an issue, find one willing to be paid from the proceeds of the estate.
laRubiaBonita Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Get an attorney. If money's an issue, find one willing to be paid from the proceeds of the estate. ^^^^^^^^^^^ that's my advice too.
quankanne Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 my sister and I were named beneficiaries under Dad's VA policy, so they sent us checks on a policy split into half for the both of us. We were told that the money was ours to spend, that all the VA was supposed to was get us the money. my suggestion to you is that if you want your little sister to have her money, but not funnel it through her mother, consult your attorney about setting up a trust fund for Sis under her name alone, for her to receive when she's X years old. That way the money is HERS to deal with, and no one else's. if your dad didn't name an executor, I believe the state then steps in to probate his estate. Again, check with the lawyer and find out who is responsible for your dad's cremains, and whether or not you are legally obliged to see them interred. as for the relatives holding your dad "hostage," so to speak ... well, it would amount to extortion if they tell you you get his cremains for a cut of the insurance money, and THEY would be liable for properly disposing of the cremains. I imagine you could sue them for the cremains if they refuse to return them to you, but again, you'd have to discuss that with a lawyer.
Author brock9911 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 all right, this is all very new to me. iv never dealt with anything like this so i really had no clue what to expect. i guess i will get a lawyer. but only for the part of dividing up the money between my sister and i. i really do not want the fiance getting her hands on 1 cent of that money. as for my family, i just talked to my uncle and grandmother and we all came to an agreement to divide up the ashes. they somehow worked out a deal with the funeral home to get the ashes, but the fiance is still the one who being sent into collection because it was her who signed the contract with the funeral home. im not sure how that is going just yet, but thats not my problem as long as my father is in good hands. i also made an agreement that when the v.a. money comes in that i will help my grandmother buy an urn for my fathers ashes because what the funeral home gave them is pretty pathetic. and we also agreed to divide up his medals and shield that he was presented in duing the wake. so my heart is a lot more at ease knowing that i will have a piece of him to remember. now to just get the v.a. money squared away with out her geting her grubby hands on the money and ill be really happy.
quankanne Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 now to just get the v.a. money squared away with out her getting her grubby hands on the money and ill be really happy. if you are the sole beneficiary listed on an insurance policy, and it was your dad's explicit wish for you to have this money, there's not thing one his girlfriend can do to make a legal claim on this inheritance. Again, because the money is YOURS, you can do whatever you want with it, including setting up something for your little sister to access when she's old enough. FYI, you will need a certificate of your father's death from the funeral home to give to the VA so they can release the funds to the beneficiary listed on the policy (which would be you).
Author brock9911 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 there were no beneficiaries listed, he never finished filling out the paper work. i asked them how the policy was active without beneficiaries and they cant seem to come up with an answer. so now the money gets split between my sister and i. so my problem is the fiance getting her hands on my sisters portion becasue shes only 12 and when he passed i was given a copy of his death certificate. so when it gets to that point i wont have to go hunting it down
quankanne Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 how can they contact you if you're not even listed as a beneficiary? That doesn't make sense. the funeral home had a copy of the VA policy because my dad pre-arranged costs and wanted the funeral to be paid out of this policy, with the remainder to be split between me and my sister. And that policy specifically lists both us girls. Somewhere, there is a copy of the policy your dad purchased from the VA, with names of beneficiaries specifically listed. Get hold of that, and go from there. if these jokers keep calling you, tell them you need a copy of the policy listing you as beneficiary so you can take action ... because you are listed, you can request this.
Author brock9911 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 There arent any beneficiaries. he never finished filling that out. thats the problem. and im trying to figure out how its even possible for a policy to be activated with out that information. i knew this was a problem from the day i spoke to the members of his honor guard. the leader of the honor guard is the one who was dealing with all of the paper work. hes the one who fowarded my information to the v.a. he never left any specifications for where the money would go or how it would be divided up. so now, the money goes to me and my sister. initially when i spoke to them they said that the policy wasnt activated because he never finished the paper work. that was a year ago. now their contacting me again stating that there is a policy. i dont know, its very confusing at this point.
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