JL911 Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Its been over a month now since my world came crashing down and she walked out of my life possibly for good. Ive been working on a list of things I have recently learned about myself. 1. My family loves the hell out of me...everyone has rallied and has been trying to be supportive and keep me going. 2 My Friends are there....I know going out and getting me drunk and trying to set me up with friends are not the best answers, but my buddies and friends alike have been there for me so much. 3. My Self Worth...I am an amazing guy with so much to offer someone. The fact that this hurts so much shows how much I cared and loved someone. 4. I am strong...I never thought this would ever happen...I thought it was till death due us part...It was so hard to think of losing this person at any point in my life...I didnt know how I would make it. Im still standing, still breathing, still working, and still going. 5. This was not my fault...Everyone makes mistakes in life and relationships...Saying sorry is a natural thing since we are all imperfect...I was always forgiving, always there, always trying to move forward with the relationship. I loved this person for who they were not what I wanted them to be...I did not want it to end and was willing to fight and do anything I could to press on.... 6. Its not the end of the world...It hurts...It hurts so much that shes not there anymore...But I am motivated to be a better person...I know I will get through this...I have to... 7. There are things that bring happiness to me...I still joke around and laugh with my friends...I still go fishing...I went shooting last night and had a good time as well. Life cannot stop due to this type of loss... 8. So much reminds me of her...You never realize how much you have really done with a person until they are gone...I ordered some things off Cabela's last night and remember our road trip we took there one day. I've never choked up ordering hunting equipment. I can only think that certain things, movies, songs, images, or even jokes come up that remind me of her, and she is going to feel the same as well. You cannot just erase someone like me...I know I have made a positive impact on her life....I know she will miss me at some point... 9. I want to move on...In the beginning I didnt know how on Earth I would find someone to stack up to her and what we had. Let alone build another long term relationship with someone. But I know that is what I want in life. I want a family and kids and be able to share the things I enjoy with them. 10. I have hope and faith...You never know what is around the next corner or who is going to cross your path next...I have found my faith again in life. You dont know if at some point this person is going to look you back up and want to persue you again...and if they do you dont know what frame of mind you will be in if that were to occur. You just have to realize that if you lead a good life that karma will take care of the rest...People cannot help but be drawn to a kind hearted person with good intentions... +1...I know what Love is.....
mr heartbroken Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 1...I know what Love is..... i know you just posted this and i think what you have said has made me think about what is happening in my life. thank you. most of what you said i can relate to. Yes i am scared that i might never meet someone as amazing as her but i have no choice and i should enjoy trying to find that person once again thanks mate.....
mike5770 Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Thank you dealing with the same thing and I believe I had a lot to offer her! I will not beat myself up anymore I cannot control what she will do just my actions. I did the best I could as I am sure you did. Life will go on and there will be others!!
Taucher Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 8. So much reminds me of her...You never realize how much you have really done with a person until they are gone...I ordered some things off Cabela's last night and remember our road trip we took there one day. I've never choked up ordering hunting equipment. I can only think that certain things, movies, songs, images, or even jokes come up that remind me of her, and she is going to feel the same as well. You cannot just erase someone like me...I know I have made a positive impact on her life....I know she will miss me at some point... 10. I have hope and faith...You never know what is around the next corner or who is going to cross your path next...I have found my faith again in life. You dont know if at some point this person is going to look you back up and want to persue you again...and if they do you dont know what frame of mind you will be in if that were to occur. You just have to realize that if you lead a good life that karma will take care of the rest...People cannot help but be drawn to a kind hearted person with good intentions... +1...I know what Love is..... The two that I have quoted really hit home for me but you said it better than I could. I am constantly freaked out by how really random things can remind me of her. Today, it was a brand of cereal and an ad on the tv for dish-washer tablets - we used to like it cos the voice over said something in a funny way but not deliberately. I probably sound a bit weird now but you know how couples have these funny jokes and...things. Which no-one outside the relationship can be a part of or really understand. I know you all know what I mean. Despite having a (publicised) relapse, I am trying to remain strong and have a certain amount of faith in live too. It's a cliche, but you need the lows to appreciate the highs, right? T
McKenzie Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I enjoyed reading your post because it sounds like you are a very emotionally healthy individual. I am not there yet. I'm a wreck. May 9 the love of my life and I split up, and since then I have felt like a robot going through the motions of life. I started crying in Big Lots a few nights ago because I remembered how we used to call it "Lig Bots" and had some laughs there one Saturday when we ran across a fuzzy dog toy that said "feel me" on the tag. That light-hearted laughter and that joy-- it's gone from my life, possibly never to return. I grieve for the loss of the warm feeling of loving him and thinking (mistakenly) that he loved me back. I wish you well, nice man. Find love again and cherish that feeling.
Author JL911 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Trust me when I say that I am not perfect. This has been terrible. I too wake up sometimes and am a zombie. I too wake up atleast 2 times every night and have my problems sleeping....I am far from over it, but know there was little I could do to stop it...It was all in her hands...Still is because I will not run back, or beg, or plead with her.... I just realize that maybe somethings are just not meant to be, and if they truly are, then they will be (stupid cliches)...I think my ex made a terrible decision breaking up with me because I truly did love her and had great intentions for us. I think she got way too caught up in her situation in life and made a hastey decision. I forgive her, things happen for various reasons. This might be for the best for me, or might allow her to see what a great person she choose to walk away from for a stupid stupid reason... You just have to look at it with a somewhat open mind and realize that things will eventually turn out for the best in one way or another....These terrible tragedies make us all stronger as a whole. It is amazing how much emotional abuse a human being can take and continue on to live, love, and fight another day...
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