gordon_gc Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 hi, Been seeing that girl for 2 months. I'm Jewish. She is Muslim. We like eachother but perfectly know from the beginning that things will get more and more difficult as we move forward in the relationship. In the last few weeks, we've had constantly been having little arguments here and there about insignificant stuffs and my gut-feeling is that we do this to kinda break the relationship before it grows further. I just wanted to know what's you opinion about the situation and if any of you have ever been involved in a similar situation (2 different backgrounds/religions or else), i'd like to hear from your experience and the outcome. Thanks
Lovelybird Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Hi, I would think it will be very difficult for you in the future. Have your heard that if you marry happily, your life is happy, well, maybe this is not an 100% right, but some truth in it. When I talked to a man (I thought I liked) about my God, he isn't a believer, his face went blank , he doesn't know my God, he doesn't understand the love relationship between God and me, he doesn't have passion for the things I am interested. So the feeling I had for him was very short lived, after a while it became plain water, taste nothing. I believe love is somthing in our soul levels. But when my friend who is a believer come along, I feel more satisfying talking to him, I feel God shows His love through him, and when I was bothered with something, he seemed knew even I didn't tell him (I believe God told him) ! and I admire his characters. So before you go further, you have to honestly ask yourself many hard questions, about if you can accept her faith, and live her faith in daily life, if she can accept your faith and your living faith in daily life. What things that can connect your souls together? when you marry, you become one, not only body become one, but soul and spirit become one also, how do you solve the soul become one issue? Can you confidently say your love can conquer anything, or do you rely on God to renew your love and bring your love to a high level? if you rely on God to bring your love to a high level, won't you listen to What your God wants from you for your love life?
Author gordon_gc Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 well, we both not are really religious persons. On my side of the equation, i'm willing to compromise and my social environement, well, if they really care for me, they will agree with me. But on her side, her family and social environment is a different story. Being with me means a lot of people would turn their back on her and she doesn't want this. I think it's fairly simple when i look at it...she cares more about the people she've always been with than me and this, not even 'love' seems to alter her judgment of the situation.
Enema Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 I don't think inter-religious relationships work unless the people involved (and their families) are very relaxed about religion themselves.
Author gordon_gc Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 truly hate religions at this point in time !! :-(
tini Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 this can be very hard as I am just experiencing a brake up due to the religiouse differences. it is heartbraking as we have being in the relationship for 2 years, got engaged and were suppose to get married. he was christian and i am liberal chatolic. the problem occures when one, in our situation he, is not relaistic and honest about his beliefs. he convinced me that we can do it, and as i am very humanisic, openminded person and i have great respect for other faiths and belifs throughout the time i fell in love. long-story-short, throughout the time he started to express himself more and more in his religiouse ways, but even that wasnt the issue but he became very disrespectful to me and who i am. you mentioned about the little arguments you had just to brake down the relationship is so true. he use to start arguments about silly and irrational things - i understood that very well and that was even more hurtful as we are both people in 30s and i thought we have a better understanding about the ways of the world. i would say if you are doing that now, it will grow and grow as you are developing a bed behaviour pattern that is unhealthy for any kind of relationship.
627 Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 hi, Been seeing that girl for 2 months. I'm Jewish. She is Muslim. We like eachother but perfectly know from the beginning that things will get more and more difficult as we move forward in the relationship. In the last few weeks, we've had constantly been having little arguments here and there about insignificant stuffs and my gut-feeling is that we do this to kinda break the relationship before it grows further. I just wanted to know what's you opinion about the situation and if any of you have ever been involved in a similar situation (2 different backgrounds/religions or else), i'd like to hear from your experience and the outcome. Thanks well I've seen it happen around my country many time we have alot of different religions here just be open minded, respect her beliefs. would you feel that she must convert to your religion? just agree to disagree in that respects, don't argue religion, never argue religion you will not convince her, she will not convince you, both of you grew up with parents of that religion and you have been raised on it for decades, there is no argument that is going to convince either you or her to throw all these years away and say"yeah I was wrong it was all a waste" just respect whatever rules she has(she will be against alcohol and pork and does she agree on physical contact? I know many muslims that don't, that might be a problem) don't argue why this is right or wrong, I argued other religions before, in the end when logic fails she will say"God commands it we don't need to understand it" when rligion is not envolved you will not fel there is a problem or anything wrong, it is when you argue that this difference comes out, so don't argue it would have helped if you mentionned your age or whether this might evolve into engagement or somehing cause marriage in that case might be complicated
BobSacamento Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 It's all about respect. If you are both respectful in your debate then I see no problems. I mean you have so much in common. Stress the similarities, don't dwell on the differences.
bac Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 ARe you going to marry her? If not, go with flow and do not think too much. When it does not work, you will see it by yourself. Enjoy it for now, if it still works out.
Johnny M Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I don't think religious differences are a major issue, especially if neither of you is particularly religious. However, there may be quite of bit of social awkwardness given what's going on in the Middle East and your respective ethnic backgrounds (i.e. your/her parents, friends, etc. may disapprove).
tini Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 well I've seen it happen around my country many time we have alot of different religions here just be open minded, respect her beliefs. would you feel that she must convert to your religion? just agree to disagree in that respects, don't argue religion, never argue religion you will not convince her, she will not convince you, both of you grew up with parents of that religion and you have been raised on it for decades, there is no argument that is going to convince either you or her to throw all these years away and say"yeah I was wrong it was all a waste" just respect whatever rules she has(she will be against alcohol and pork and does she agree on physical contact? I know many muslims that don't, that might be a problem) don't argue why this is right or wrong, I argued other religions before, in the end when logic fails she will say"God commands it we don't need to understand it" when rligion is not envolved you will not fel there is a problem or anything wrong, it is when you argue that this difference comes out, so don't argue it would have helped if you mentionned your age or whether this might evolve into engagement or somehing cause marriage in that case might be complicated I agree with that, I can not empshises enough the issue of RESPECT and to AGREE TO DISAGREE. As I metined you have to know who you are and what can you tolerate. You have to know your limits. It is terrible when all the logistic fails coz you are so eager to win your argument. You have to think is it important for you to dominate in the dispute or is it relationship what is important and keep it healthy. We only have one life, I belive we should be happy and enjoy it while we are here.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 ARe you going to marry her? If not, go with flow and do not think too much. When it does not work, you will see it by yourself. Enjoy it for now, if it still works out. How the heck would anybody know that at 2 months? I'd say such a big decision takes time to develop and I don't think it's wise to keep developing deeper feelings for somebody with whom you know you can't spend your life.
jimbo Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 A Jew and an Muslim. Good God. A Jew and a Christian (any of the flavors) that may work. At least you are both believing in somewhat of the same fairy tale. Then again, I think anyone who believes in fairy tales is a bit um, out there. I think if we all as a people move away from fairy tales we'd all be better. Hey, the atheist/agnostic/theologian movement is gaining ground. Don't knock it until you try it. But, in all seriousness, I respect a persons right to believe whatever they want to believe; as long as I can joke light hardly from time to time. But, again, a Jew and a Muslim, very little chance. The culture is too different.
The.One Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 A Jew and an Muslim. Good God. A Jew and a Christian (any of the flavors) that may work. At least you are both believing in somewhat of the same fairy tale. Then again, I think anyone who believes in fairy tales is a bit um, out there. I think if we all as a people move away from fairy tales we'd all be better. Hey, the atheist/agnostic/theologian movement is gaining ground. Don't knock it until you try it. But, in all seriousness, I respect a persons right to believe whatever they want to believe; as long as I can joke light hardly from time to time. But, again, a Jew and a Muslim, very little chance. The culture is too different. I'm sorry, you don't seem to respect it. It's a serious thing to believers. Christians get a lot of crap from a lot of people and it's actually not something to joke light heartedly about.
jimbo Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I'm sorry, you don't seem to respect it. It's a serious thing to believers. Christians get a lot of crap from a lot of people and it's actually not something to joke light heartedly about. In LIFE everything is to be taken with a grain of salt and jokingly until proven scientifically with indisputable facts. This is with everything. History, well authenticated documented history, is proven indisputably. Taxes and laws, proven (though challenged) indisputably. Science and astronomy, proven indisputably. ALL religions, disputable UNTIL any or all of them are proven indisputably. For the record though, I was Christian, well, until I opened my eyes to logical theorems. Notice also, out of respect for all religions mentioned in this thread, I gave proper respect by capitalizing them and God. Though, in the Jewish text, it should be G-d. I leave it at that as I do not want to make this a flame thread.
The.One Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 In LIFE everything is to be taken with a grain of salt and jokingly until proven scientifically with indisputable facts. This is with everything. History, well authenticated documented history, is proven indisputably. Taxes and laws, proven (though challenged) indisputably. Science and astronomy, proven indisputably. ALL religions, disputable UNTIL any or all of them are proven indisputably. For the record though, I was Christian, well, until I opened my eyes to logical theorems. Notice also, out of respect for all religions mentioned in this thread, I gave proper respect by capitalizing them and God. Though, in the Jewish text, it should be G-d. I leave it at that as I do not want to make this a flame thread. I'm sorry, I didn't ask you about life. I was remarking to your comment I respect a persons right to believe whatever they want to believe; as long as I can joke light hardly from time to time[/Quote]It's not really respecting a person's right to believe what they want to believe if you joke about it. Since you used to be a Christian, depending on how devout you were, you know that our love for God goes beyond anything else. And no, we don't take it with a grain of salt. And no, we don't rely or wait for facts. That isn't what faith is. As for the OP. It really depend on how serious you two are about each other and how serious you two are about your faiths. If you both truly believe in your religion, then it will either be extremely hard or impossible. At some point, you will want the other to convert because you want them there in the afterlife with you. If my future wife was a non-Christian, it would make me very sad since she won't be saved (according to my beliefs). Depending on the religious beliefs of your religion, it may be the same thing. [/No grain of salt]
Johnny M Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 It's not really respecting a person's right to believe what they want to believe if you joke about it. Umm, yes it is. I can respect your right to believe in Santa Clause (meaning that I won't attack you for your beliefs, discriminate against you in employment and housing, etc.) without respecting the belief itself. You are confusing two totally different concepts.
muse08 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 sometimes i feel like many people, in any faith, become fanatical...that's when the problems arise. especially if they are ignorant of other faiths. half of my relatives are one faith and the other half is another. we believe in God. some are fanatical, which i completely don't agree with. everyone has the right to choose. however, realistically speaking, if 2 people have faith bases they can get along as long as they realize that they cannot IMPOSE their beliefs on anyone else. IMO people of different faiths should establish this from the jump and make it known that neither of them will tolerate DISRESPECT from the other. some religions require women to change their faiths to the man's faith. IMO, if the woman is willing to change her FAITH b/c of a man, then how strong was she in her prior faith...? faiths aren't meant to seperate us unless we choose to seperate. i just feel that we all have a responsibility to show respect for the next man/woman's right to choose his/her own faith.
muse08 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Umm, yes it is. I can respect your right to believe in Santa Clause (meaning that I won't attack you for your beliefs, discriminate against you in employment and housing, etc.) without respecting the belief itself. You are confusing two totally different concepts. excellent point. couldn't have said it any better. i made the same point at the end of my post w/out even reading yours first.
tigressA Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 "There are no religions in Heaven. God doesn’t separate man; man separates man." This is the quote I live by concerning religious beliefs. I always find it really sad when two people who are otherwise compatible and happy with each other would sacrifice that because of religious differences. I think that if your religion is a really big deal to you, yourself, then you should make a habit of dating only those people who are of your own religion. If you're more relaxed about your beliefs, then sure, date whoever you want regardless of religion. As for family disowning you because of dating/marrying outside your religion...you can't choose your family, but you can choose whether or not to let them influence major life decisions that, at the end of the day, you alone will have to live with.
muse08 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 "There are no religions in Heaven. God doesn’t separate man; man separates man." This is the quote I live by concerning religious beliefs. I always find it really sad when two people who are otherwise compatible and happy with each other would sacrifice that because of religious differences. I think that if your religion is a really big deal to you, yourself, then you should make a habit of dating only those people who are of your own religion. If you're more relaxed about your beliefs, then sure, date whoever you want regardless of religion. As for family disowning you because of dating/marrying outside your religion...you can't choose your family, but you can choose whether or not to let them influence major life decisions that, at the end of the day, you alone will have to live with. well put tigress!
BobSacamento Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 In LIFE everything is to be taken with a grain of salt and jokingly until proven scientifically with indisputable facts. This is with everything. History, well authenticated documented history, is proven indisputably. Taxes and laws, proven (though challenged) indisputably. Science and astronomy, proven indisputably. ALL religions, disputable UNTIL any or all of them are proven indisputably. For the record though, I was Christian, well, until I opened my eyes to logical theorems. Notice also, out of respect for all religions mentioned in this thread, I gave proper respect by capitalizing them and God. Though, in the Jewish text, it should be G-d. I leave it at that as I do not want to make this a flame thread. Logical theorems? Hilarious. There is nothing logical about lecturing religious believers.
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