entityzero Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Ok I just need to vent. I just woke up for the third morning in a row from a terrible cruel dream where im laying naked with my ex and i start crying telling her I know its not gonna happen but i wanna be with her forever, then i wake up alone. Thing is, we broke up 9 months ago!! WHY am i still having these cruel nightmares, what the hell can i do to put my mind at rest and forget about her. I know I have her on a pedastal, I romanticize and idealize the relationship we had, forgetting all the red flags, but god i loved her so so much, she was beautiful and just.. made me feel so f**king special, now shes gone (she left me for a "friend", i know this is the main reason its still burning so bad).. i feel so lonely, where the hell am I gonna meet someone who made me feel as crazy in love as she did? I should be over it by now, but recently ive relapsed and I just miss her so so so so so so so so so so so much, AARRGH!! Does anyone know anything about hypno-therapy??
mr heartbroken Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Ok I just need to vent. I just woke up for the third morning in a row from a terrible cruel dream where im laying naked with my ex and i start crying telling her I know its not gonna happen but i wanna be with her forever, then i wake up alone. Thing is, we broke up 9 months ago!! WHY am i still having these cruel nightmares, what the hell can i do to put my mind at rest and forget about her. I know I have her on a pedastal, I romanticize and idealize the relationship we had, forgetting all the red flags, but god i loved her so so much, she was beautiful and just.. made me feel so f**king special, now shes gone (she left me for a "friend", i know this is the main reason its still burning so bad).. i feel so lonely, where the hell am I gonna meet someone who made me feel as crazy in love as she did? I should be over it by now, but recently ive relapsed and I just miss her so so so so so so so so so so so much, AARRGH!! Does anyone know anything about ?? hypno-therapy i have also thought about doing this. i spoke to a few people and they told me that hypno-therapy surpresses emotions. You arent dealing with the issue in hand. dont look to replace her. but look it as a chapter of your life. This chapter has been drawn to a close. You have now started a new one. Its called the recovery this is the part that when you feel like you want someone or something to say or do something to take the pain away. Thing is you will never move on until you can execpt that life has a path and that you will need to walk it to see what things it has alone the road. The reason you are dreaming about her is you havent gotten over her and you still have some issue's that you need to deal with. Have you been to see your GP? Have you ever been to see a counciler. sorry about the spelling not really my strong point.
Author entityzero Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 Yeah obviously im not over her.. I feel so pathetic to admit that, 9 months.... 9 months of wishing and hoping she'll break up with my "friend" and admit that she was wrong and confess her love for me... HA!! I know I need to let that s**t go. Yeah i saw my GP, and my counsellor, that was all at the start of the year, all they could tell me was to move on (in so many words).. I've heard ALL the advice, i've had ALL the do's and dont's, i've spoken to everyone that will listen... but its been so long everytime i mention it i just get told to get over it, shes gone, forever. But its just the jealousy that he is good enough to live with, to be with, to love, and im not.. i just dont understand I gave her everything, tried to save her from herself, invested SO much of myself, now shes gone I just feel used, empty and spent. This is truely ridiculous, its hard to even find anyone else on this board that: A) Their girlfriend left them for a friend B) The ex hasnt changed their mind and tried to make contact C) Is STILL hurting after 9 months I know everyone goes through their own pain I just feel like im the only one still stupid enough to be suffering
deux ex machina Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Hey, look: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/ And! I don't want to ever hear you calling yourself names again.
fabulous_chk Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 For some people it takes longer to get over things....my friend was dumped by her 7-year bf and it took her 2 years to get over him....but she is perfectly fine right now. I did 3 sessions of hypnotherapy and it helped me a lot in the initial stages of the break-up. I started eating and sleeping after the first session. Before I was just a walking zombie. You know what I noticed? The more I did NC, the more my ex became special, perfect, almost god-like. When I maintained LC I started seeing his faults and that made it easier for me to move on.
Author entityzero Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 Thanks yeah i have thought about what level of contact is best, but it HAS to be NC coz i cant talk or look at her in the eye knowing she is with him, it hurts me so bad. To see her would be poison coz I was and still am so obsessed with how she looks, but I still fail to see the type of person she is inside. She is god like to me yes, some sort of girl higher than all other girls. I thought i was stronger than this.
fabulous_chk Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 My ex is stunning too. He was asked to model when he was younger, and when we go out people ask him all the time if he's an actor. 6'3" curly golden hair, hazel eyes, the prettiest face. Yet that doesn't matter to me anymore. He is ugly inside and when I forced myself to face that reality instead of glorifying him, that's when I started moving on. I even envisioned their wedding and their kids (with the girl he cheated on me with). I still get angry whenever I see a pretty young latina because that's the girl he hooked up with, but I force myself to not avoid these things. These are irrational feelings. You should make a list of her negatives. Yes, she's pretty but __________. You should concentrate on rebuilding yourself and making yourself the best version of you. The best revenge is living well.
soheartbroken Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Hey EZ, I'm sorry that you're still hurting after 9 months. If it makes you feel better, my ex hasn't tried to make contact, and I assume I will still be hurting after 9 months. Also, I'm taking an academic stop out from school, and moving cities back home! Talk about distraught! Look at it this way: you have two relationships to grieve - the loss and betrayal of your friend, and the loss of your gf. There's nothing wrong with still hurting after 9 months. Let it run its course. DO work on improving yourself, but don't get discouraged when people tell you to "move on". As if! If I could just "move on" on I wouldn't be on this forum...for hours...every day.
Author entityzero Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 Thanks for the support everyone. I guess I just felt like I WAS over things.. and yeah, it was just a little bit of contact I had with her last week thats set me back, I should of just left things to business but I poured my heart out to her and got nothing back. Now she knows im not over her after all this time and I just cant stand the thought that she thinks im a loser, and all it does is make her happier she is with him. She always comes across so confident and happy the last couple of times i've had to break NC, like.. she sounds so like shes moved on and to hear her say "things are good" is just so heartbreaking, my last 3 girlfriends have all been better off AFTER we break up. I know theres nothing anyone can say anymore but this has sucked every little bit of life out of me.. F**k it coz theres not much hope of me ever getting over it as long as they are together and I have to walk around on eggshells hoping i dont see them. Its no way to live your life trust me.
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