Hkizzle Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 So I often see men come here and post "I only like younger women", or "I don't like someone that's fat", and they get told they're shallow. Whilst a looks don't matter as much for a lot of men, most men do prefer relatively young skinny women (if they were able to attract them), it's true. But anyone that says that here gets shot down like a ton of bricks, I mean you can't speak the truth these days. We have to romantically like women of all sizes or we're automatically shallow?
BCCA Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Here is what I've always seen, everywhere: People want answers for why they arent attracting the partner they want so instead of wondering where they went wrong, they just say things like 'men are shallow' or 'women just want rich douchebags'. I hardly think they even think its true, but its a lot easier to blame the world than it is to ask what you can do to make it better. While there are wrinkles of truth to both statements, overall - they are not true. OF COURSE people want someone attractive, OF COURSE a guy with money makes him more desirable, but neither of those things are 'deal breakers' for most people. My dad always said 'you like what you like, and dont ever let anyone tell you what that is'. Basically, youre attracted to who you like, and there arent any logical reasons behind it.
OpenGL Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Seriously, I've said this once before and I'll say this once again... Men *do not* have ANY superficial requirements for a woman other than she is not fat. That's it. Men hate fatties but will bone any other type of woman without hesitation. Of course, when you're with your boys, you're gonna say things like "man I love girls with a big ass", but when it comes down to it, men are not picky at all as far as who they will actually date. Men are by far the least shallow of the sexes. Women on the other hand... they are the one with the laundry list of superficial preferences.
MadDriver Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Women on the other hand... they are the one with the laundry list of superficial preferences. Tell it like it is, brotha! Amen!
Wakely Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Women on the other hand... they are the one with the laundry list of superficial preferences. Tell it like it is, brotha! Amen! So we're not allowed to love you for your money, OR your beautiful blue eyes and manly physique - what else is left? Your sparkling wit and positive outlook on life?
butcher's hook Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 . Men will bone any other type of woman without hesitation. but when it comes down to it, men are not picky at all as far as who they will actually date. Men are by far the least shallow of the sexes. . Single ladies out there, ALL single ladies who are currently dating pay close attention to those words, they should stay ingrained in your heads especially if you are in the very early stages of dating. If this is supposedly how all men think/are then you should take an extra long time to get to know the guy and DO NOT sleep with a guy early on, this is how selective men are about sleeping with you. Feel special yet?
CaliGuy Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 So I often see men come here and post "I only like younger women", or "I don't like someone that's fat", and they get told they're shallow. Whilst a looks don't matter as much for a lot of men, most men do prefer relatively young skinny women (if they were able to attract them), it's true. But anyone that says that here gets shot down like a ton of bricks, I mean you can't speak the truth these days. We have to romantically like women of all sizes or we're automatically shallow? Meh, I say go for what excites you. Understand the risks and rewards and weigh things out. If you settle for less than you desire will you really be happy? I think you have to date a lot of people before you find the RIGHT one. Personally I am not attracted to obesity, does that mean I must then settle for someone obese? I have kept myself in top shape so I don't think it's unfair to ask my S/O to do the same.
allina Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Not true. Posters who state their preferences are usually supported and told that we all have a right to our likes and dislikes when it comes to the appearance of a partner, which is true. The issue with men not liking big woman confuses me. I don't know a single male, not one who would want an overweight partner. I also see most men here getting very turned off/upset if their gf or wife gains weight. So how are all these very overweight women getting married?! I see many overweight brides, they're clearly loved by their future husbands. So something doesn't add up. Men either don't care about weight as much as they say they do or it doesn't matter for them with the right woman.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 Not true. Posters who state their preferences are usually supported and told that we all have a right to our likes and dislikes when it comes to the appearance of a partner, which is true. The issue with men not liking big woman confuses me. I don't know a single male, not one who would want an overweight partner. I also see most men here getting very turned off/upset if their gf or wife gains weight. So how are all these very overweight women getting married?! I see many overweight brides, they're clearly loved by their future husbands. So something doesn't add up. Men either don't care about weight as much as they say they do or it doesn't matter for them with the right woman. I think people notice things out of the ordinary more. So for example if I saw a woman walking down the street with a guy shorter than her I generally look a little longer than a normal couple. It's just human psychology to notice and remember the extraordinary more than the norm. It's also about choice. If 50% of the women are overweight then, 50% of the men either go for it or go lonely. Over here in Asia for example an overweight women will find it extra hard to find a man. The reason is because Asians are naturally smaller there are a lot of women that are very slim. It's all about relativity in the same environment.
sally4sara Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 I was stunned to realize after we broke up, that my first serious BF preferred thick women. Every girl he dated after me was chubby and he just married a very nice but chubby woman two years ago. A co-worker of mine keeps telling me what a beautiful face I have but that I need to gain about 50lbs for his taste. I keep telling him I don't care if I'm not his type. My brother seemed to like thicker women for a while. Woman across the hall from me is getting depressed because her husband keeps telling her she needs to gain weight. She is currently normal for her height. Some men like the "fatties" and there is nothing wrong with it. Some women like the "fatties" too; my ex MIL loves teddy bear men. The only time it is wrong to have a preference, is when you can't see your way through to having a partner that is physically your preference and you stay in the relationship with someone who isn't your preference, chipping away at their self esteem by telling them they need to change. Other than that, I don't get the premise of the original post nor its title; we are "allowed" to date who we want to date. Period. Boring, same old subject theme threads.........
allina Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 If 50% of the women are overweight then, 50% of the men either go for it or go lonely. Aren't 50% of men overweight too?
fral945 Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 So how are all these very overweight women getting married?! I see many overweight brides, they're clearly loved by their future husbands. So something doesn't add up. Men either don't care about weight as much as they say they do or it doesn't matter for them with the right woman. Possible reasons: 1) She wasn't overweight when they got married. Now, BF/husband scared to confront wife about weight 2) Man accepts that overweight woman might have other qualities that make her better wife material but fulfills sexual needs through other methods (i.e., porn, affairs, hookers, etc) 3) Relationship is not strongly based on sex 4) Since most women are overweight (or at least become that way at some point in their lives), man realizes finding a woman of healthy weight will be more difficult and not worth the effort so settles for slightly overweight
Author Hkizzle Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 Aren't 50% of men overweight too? My point is, MOST human beings (men and women) pick what's most attractive. Whilst most people don't need supermodel standard, they have a minimum standard which they are willing to accept. That standard goes up depending on what a person knows they can attract. Like Caliguy said, he's in good shape and would expect his S/O to be so too. I'm the same. If however I was a 400 lb guy, what justification would I have? People cry when they have limited choices, but people can increase their choices if they want, it just takes effort.
sally4sara Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Possible reasons: 1) She wasn't overweight when they got married. Now, BF/husband scared to confront wife about weight 2) Man accepts that overweight woman might have other qualities that make her better wife material but fulfills sexual needs through other methods (i.e., porn, affairs, hookers, etc) 3) Relationship is not strongly based on sex 4) Since most women are overweight (or at least become that way at some point in their lives), man realizes finding a woman of healthy weight will be more difficult and not worth the effort so settles for slightly overweight It is cool that YOU don't want a pudgy partner, but it doesn't mean no one wants a pudgy partner. You are applying your own logic to everyone and that usually results in being wrong more often.
fral945 Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 It is cool that YOU don't want a pudgy partner, but it doesn't mean no one wants a pudgy partner. You are applying your own logic to everyone and that usually results in being wrong more often. No, I just mentioned possible reasons. I didn't say EVERYBODY or ALWAYS anywhere in my post. (Note the use of less black and white terminology in my post)
stillafool Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 So I often see men come here and post "I only like younger women", or "I don't like someone that's fat", and they get told they're shallow. Whilst a looks don't matter as much for a lot of men, most men do prefer relatively young skinny women (if they were able to attract them), it's true. But anyone that says that here gets shot down like a ton of bricks, I mean you can't speak the truth these days. We have to romantically like women of all sizes or we're automatically shallow? Hey if you can get a young, skinny girl then go for it. I think folks here just say that to guys who come here and complain that they can't get a gf because all the "bad boys" have taken them. So therefore we suggest they lower their standards. But again, if you can get what you "really" want then more power to you. No one cares.
Jaytb Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Possible reasons: 1) She wasn't overweight when they got married. Now, BF/husband scared to confront wife about weight 2) Man accepts that overweight woman might have other qualities that make her better wife material but fulfills sexual needs through other methods (i.e., porn, affairs, hookers, etc) 3) Relationship is not strongly based on sex 4) Since most women are overweight (or at least become that way at some point in their lives), man realizes finding a woman of healthy weight will be more difficult and not worth the effort so settles for slightly overweight or maybe some guys actually like heavy women. Did that ever occur to you? Like BBW admirers and whatnot.
BCCA Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Single ladies out there, ALL single ladies who are currently dating pay close attention to those words, they should stay ingrained in your heads especially if you are in the very early stages of dating. If this is supposedly how all men think/are then you should take an extra long time to get to know the guy and DO NOT sleep with a guy early on, this is how selective men are about sleeping with you. Feel special yet? Every single guy is exactly the same... I think the problem with a question like this is that you are looking for a logical response to an illogicial thought process. Dating isnt an exact science, I for one have a broad range of characteristics I would look for in a partner, so explaining why I like what I like would only make sense to me.
stillafool Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 So how are all these very overweight women getting married?! I see many overweight brides, they're clearly loved by their future husbands. So something doesn't add up. Men either don't care about weight as much as they say they do or it doesn't matter for them with the right woman. This is so true! Have you seen "Bridezilla"? Almost all of those women are obese with a bad attitude and their grooms just love them. You are right, something isn't adding up.
sally4sara Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 No, I just mentioned possible reasons. I didn't say EVERYBODY or ALWAYS anywhere in my post. (Note the use of less black and white terminology in my post) But it is odd, don't you think, that no where in your "possibilities" did you come up with 5) Guy just likes him some fat wifey Ever hear of the movie "Feed"? Some folks just love fatties
BCCA Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 This is so true! Have you seen "Bridezilla"? Almost all of those women are obese with a bad attitude and their grooms just love them. You are right, something isn't adding up. Some guys like bigger gals, or find something about them attractive enough to overlook whatever reservations they have about their looks. Sort of like how guys will also date a girl who is dumb as rocks, but has an awesome body. Life is full of trade offs, and we're all different.
stillafool Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Some guys like bigger gals, or find something about them attractive enough to overlook whatever reservations they have about their looks. Sort of like how guys will also date a girl who is dumb as rocks, but has an awesome body. Life is full of trade offs, and we're all different. Or maybe they like them fat and think it's pretty.
deux ex machina Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 This is so true! Have you seen "Bridezilla"? Almost all of those women are obese with a bad attitude and their grooms just love them. You are right, something isn't adding up. Good in bed, maybe?
BCCA Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Or maybe they like them fat and think it's pretty. Some guys like bigger gals, or find something about them attractive enough to overlook whatever reservations they have about their looks. That was implied in the first part of the sentence you only bolded the second half of
loveslife Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Some guys like bigger gals, or find something about them attractive enough to overlook whatever reservations they have about their looks. That was implied in the first part of the sentence you only bolded the second half of Except then you said whatever reservations they might have about their looks, implying they don't really find them attractive.
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