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6months and i still cant move on.


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Hey, how you doing? I am not really keen on these things and i don't really know what i expect to get from this. My storey is pritty much the same as many others. I was in a Relationship for over 5 1/2 years. Most of this time it was a long distance relationship. Just under 4 years my girlfriend stayed 130 miles away but we would see each other every weekend and when her uni was on a break(she had some long breaks). So just before she was due to graduate she wanted space and no longer wanted to see, speak or be with me. SHE NEEDED SPACE she said. Until this day i had spoken to her every day for for the full time we were together. I found it hard right away and hounded her. I never phoned or txt her when she was at uni. I only ever txt and spoke to her when she was at home. I never got a reason for why she wanted to be apart. she then said that she no longer loved me. So a few of my mates were going on holiday (lads holiday 17 of us went away) so i joined them. This was about 5weeks after the break up. I txt my ex when i landed and told her how i felt. We sent a few txt and that was it over. I lost my smile when we broke up and by the time i came home i had found it again. She contacted my friends GF when i was away and totally wanted Gossip on me. She never gave her any. After two weeks past with NC she phoned wanted to see how i was what i had been up to. this kinda set me back to what i was like before. I then told her that i cant hear anything about her life and how she is doing because it messes with my head. After she left me alone with NC for about 6weeks she found out that i was on a lads night out in a different town. she got in contact with my mate. he blanked her. she then a week later txt me asking "feels like ages. how are you". I had to blank it. 3wks more NC and she phoned me one night. blanked it then she phoned twice in one night. i left it a couple of days and txt her. we exchange a few txt and she said that she is missing something about me! She doesent know what it is. can we meet up? i told her that if we meet up she will know that i will want her back. she said that this wasnt a problem. we met up talked a lot. she told me that she was seeing a guy but nothing serious. she wanted to try and see what it was that she was missing. she wanted to take things really slow. i was ok with this. she told me that she still where's my pj bottoms and that she is missing the sex the contact and many other small things. she told me that she still loves me but she isnt sure if she is in love with me. so we agreed to meet up again two weeks later we sent a few txt here and there. we talked about me moving up with her. a job that i could get when i was up there all these sorts of things. after the weekend she sent me a txt asking how my weekend was. i said good how was yours? she said that it was good but she is really shattered. and that i cant come up to her flat as we agreed as her parents were coming up. i told her that i was finding it hard just being a txt friend. did she want to see me or am i just a friend? she said she too was finding it hard. she said that she was doughting that we could have a future and that she should never have txt or phoned me. WTF where did this come from. she said she thinks that she needed closer. now i am all over the place again. but i cant talk to my family as she wanted to keep it hush. I still love her and i am really finding it hard to move on any advice would be great.

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