so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 A guy I have been chatting to online (a few very long emails were exchanged and he seemed to be interested) has been reading my replies BUT not answering them very quickly. I can see that he has logged in and he knows he is taking the p*ss because in his last reply he said sorry i havnt replied back quickly MY GRAN PASSED AWAY. I am not sure I believe him. Over the bank holiday i think he may have been with his kid(s) which we have not talked about yet. I am scarily hooked on him and we havnt spoken yet. How do i control this fantasy and from him breaking my heart as such an early stage. I am banking on him too much - its scary how i can bank all my emotions on someone i havnt spoken to. rationalize?
BobSacamento Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Take him at his word. When I receive email I don't always respond back. Doesn't mean I'm not interested just means I might be busy with something else. You may scare him off if you begin to make demands. This is how he operates. If you don't like it then you need to move on.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Yes - but doesnt this indicate that he is going to be flippant ALL the way through? I have guys texting me 10 times a day - why is he being so offhand>???
BCCA Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Yes - but doesnt this indicate that he is going to be flippant ALL the way through? I have guys texting me 10 times a day - why is he being so offhand>??? You have guys texting you 10 times a day, yet here you are wondering about the guy who isnt so quick to respond. Does that give you an idea of why he is playing it cool and taking it slow? Chances are, the guys who are readily available and texting you - youre not interested in...BECAUSE they are readily available!
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 true - but i sense that he may have a distraction. the gran dying seems a very convenient excuse...he has been arranging the funeral for days - exactly how long does it take?
dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Why are you over analyzing a guy you've never even met?
BobSacamento Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Nevermind let the guy go. He'll be better off.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 No - he seems nice - i want him to respond - but i cannot wait forever. Also - how do I bring up the kids?
Jilly Bean Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 How can one be "scarily hooked" on someone they have never met, nor never spoken to? Gutted - spend time figuring out why you are so heavily indulging a fantasy about someone who is only lukewarm about you. Is it ego? Something safe? That's the real issue here...
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 No - he seems nice - i want him to respond - but i cannot wait forever. Also - how do I bring up the kids? His kids? What about the kids?
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 yes - maybe thats it is a safe fantasy. i also did envisage meeting him - but he has killed it off.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 His kids? What about the kids? how do i ask how many kids? How often he sees them etc?
JustLooking123 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Whether or not his grandma actually died...back off for a bit! Give him space and time. Let him contact you. Either she really died, or he is not that into you. Either way, give him some breathing room.
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 how do i ask how many kids? How often he sees them etc? I'm not sure it's any of your business at this point. But since you've decided not to meet him after all, it's a moot point, right?
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 I'm not sure it's any of your business at this point. But since you've decided not to meet him after all, it's a moot point, right? well im rather hoping that his gran has died and he will get back in contact, or he realizes that it was not a good excuse and gets back to me. do i not reply for a day - play him at his own game??
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 well im rather hoping that his gran has died That seems reasonable.
anne1707 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 So you would rather his gran had died and that he is grieving her loss than just playing a silly little game with you. Nice.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 yes i would rather that..i am not willing her death (she is supposedly already dead - god rest her soul) but i hope he isnt sinister. He sounded keen enough. Does anyone else smell a rat with his story - why would you tell an online woman you havent met about your dead gran??
Star Gazer Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t195381/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162091/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162839/
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t195381/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162091/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162839/ Oh yeah, I remember her now.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Oh yeah, I remember her now. ok thanks for digging up that research - i guess i am not going to get impartial advice then. what i would say is that i do not want to jump into bed with him - i want to date him. examine the gran issue not my past.
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 examine the gran issue not my past. I'll do you one better. This will doubtless appear harsh, but this is my honest assessment: you don't come across in this thread as particularly stable. Past threads only serve to confirm that impression. Before you seek a relationship, it would behoove you and any future partner to seek counseling up to and including psychiatric help. Honestly.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 I'll do you one better. This will doubtless appear harsh, but this is my honest assessment: you don't come across in this thread as particularly stable. Past threads only serve to confirm that impression. Before you seek a relationship, it would behoove you and any future partner to seek counseling up to and including psychiatric help. Honestly. its not harsh i have done counselling. I am ready - i just want an opinion as to whether you believe that his gran has died? or is he responding to my replies as too keen and has been put off? (i only reply after he does - but within 4/5 hours of his reply - unlike him who replies days later)
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 its not harsh i have done counselling. I am ready - i just want an opinion as to whether you believe that his gran has died? or is he responding to my replies as too keen and has been put off? (i only reply after he does - but within 4/5 hours of his reply - unlike him who replies days later) Who knows. It could be true. It could be that you've made him uncomfortable and he's coming up with BS reasons to avoid you. Time will tell.
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