MissJoness Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 To the women who are older, 30, 40+, how do you feel when you read so many comments about men saying they find the younger women attractive? I am still apart of the younger group, and it even bothers me because some day I will be in your age group. Everyday, I am getting older, and I feel like the clock is getting close to midnight where I will be out of that age range that men prefer as being most attractive, valuable and desirable. I feel like I my worth is just based on how young and pretty I am or possibly can be. The male posters on here just make me feel a bit low
donnamaybe Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Doesn't bother me in the least. I merely consider the source.
2sure Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Dont worry about it. Aging is not only a physical process. By the time you are 30, 40, 50...lots of things about you will change. Most importantly, your priorities, your confidence, and your sense of humor. You will still get attention, you will still be attractive...and to those who do not find you so...they just dont come under your radar anymore.
caramel c Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 It doesn't bother me, its the way of the world. I am a better person now than I was in my 20s. I love myself more. I try harder to always do the right thing. Besides, I have no complaints about my appearance. I am aging quite well at 31. I think I look better these days anyway! The truth is that I do the best I can with what I have. I keep in shape and take care of my health. I do meet men very often, so it's no biggie. When I was younger I had plenty of chances to date men who wanted younger girls, and I did, and none of them worked out, so who cares?
Jersey Shortie Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I am not an older woman but it bothers me too. I don't want to get older and be unlovable just because I am not 20 anymore. One of the greatest things about life is having a good man by your side that things your sexy, beautiful and exciting. Women sit here and praise men for getting older and the men here sit here and condemn women for it. Women are wortheless and men are wonderful. That's the reaccuring theme around here anyway. Especially on the agism threads. Alot of men seem to get some kind of maclious glee wanting to make women feel low about the fact they age. Bragging about getting hit on or dating younger women as if that's even some kind of accomplisment? Laughing at women for being the same age they are! Like we aren't allowed to want to be beautiful or sexual anymore past a certain point. It stinks and I don't look forward to it personaly. It's like women don't even get a chance to succeed with men because the things men value about women make women loosing commonties to them.
torranceshipman Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Lol, no, not until I read this post and realized I am an 'older woman' :D Seriously though, no. With age comes wisdom, and my teens were great, my 20's were great, and now my 30's are too, but you tend to change your taste in men, and everything else, as you get older. I think the playboy type of guy who is after arm candy is going to have a problem with someone older, but what well adjusted 30 something would ever want a guy like that? A 30 something guy who is intelligent, mature, confident, and so on, will value your maturity and wisdom as an equal partner, and wont have a problem with age. I think there are a couple of caveats, though...I admit to looking very young for my age, so the age thing hasn't really ever come up - maybe it would if I looked closer to my age? And also, I get the feeling that 30 something women can have a bit of an issue if all they can bring to the table is the way they look because, lets face it, looks fade. If you spent your 20s building a good career, great hobbies, a big network of friends, qualifications, etc, then those things are very attractive to a partner who is thinking about settling down at some point (which many men in their 30's are). But if you just have good looks, I think you'd run into trouble... So overall, I think the answer is no. With age comes wisdom, and that is really a great and beautiful thing - and I personally think that women (and men) have a very attractive mature look when they hit their 40s onwards, as long as they looked after themselves throughout their lives.
caramel c Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I am not an older woman but it bothers me too. I don't want to get older and be unlovable just because I am not 20 anymore. One of the greatest things about life is having a good man by your side that things your sexy, beautiful and exciting. Women sit here and praise men for getting older and the men here sit here and condemn women for it. Women are wortheless and men are wonderful. That's the reaccuring theme around here anyway. Especially on the agism threads. Alot of men seem to get some kind of maclious glee wanting to make women feel low about the fact they age. Bragging about getting hit on or dating younger women as if that's even some kind of accomplisment? Laughing at women for being the same age they are! Like we aren't allowed to want to be beautiful or sexual anymore past a certain point. It stinks and I don't look forward to it personaly. It's like women don't even get a chance to succeed with men because the things men value about women make women loosing commonties to them. The problem is that you are letting this bother you. Why is any man, on this forum or in your life making you feel low about your age? Everybody is getting older, everybody. Even 20 year old girls. Isn't there more to life? If you think there is, surround yourself with those who agree. Aging is inevitable. FOR EVERYONE.
Author MissJoness Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Lol, no, not until I read this post and realized I am an 'older woman' :D Seriously though, no. With age comes wisdom, and my teens were great, my 20's were great, and now my 30's are too, but you tend to change your taste in men, and everything else, as you get older. I think the playboy type of guy who is after arm candy is going to have a problem with someone older, but what well adjusted 30 something would ever want a guy like that? A 30 something guy who is intelligent, mature, confident, and so on, will value your maturity and wisdom as an equal partner, and wont have a problem with age. I think there are a couple of caveats, though...I admit to looking very young for my age, so the age thing hasn't really ever come up - maybe it would if I looked closer to my age? And also, I get the feeling that 30 something women can have a bit of an issue if all they can bring to the table is the way they look because, lets face it, looks fade. If you spent your 20s building a good career, great hobbies, a big network of friends, qualifications, etc, then those things are very attractive to a partner who is thinking about settling down at some point (which many men in their 30's are). But if you just have good looks, I think you'd run into trouble... So overall, I think the answer is no. With age comes wisdom, and that is really a great and beautiful thing - and I personally think that women (and men) have a very attractive mature look when they hit their 40s onwards, as long as they looked after themselves throughout their lives. Okay, so are the comments from men on LS that women are no longer that attractive after 30, an accurage reflection of the real world? I am in my mid 20s, and I notice I attract a lot of older men, and young guys (some teens). But even in my mid 20s, I see guys my age looking at even younger girls, and I'm still supposed to be in my prime. I worry if this will get worse as I get older.
caramel c Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Okay, so are the comments from men on LS that women are no longer that attractive after 30, an accurage reflection of the real world? I am in my mid 20s, and I notice I attract a lot of older men, and young guys (some teens). But even in my mid 20s, I see guys my age looking at even younger girls, and I'm still supposed to be in my prime. I worry if this will get worse as I get older. You worry about everything, don't you?
Soul Bear Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 A friend of a friend who was 30 when her friends son was born, said when he was 5 that she would have him when he was older. The mum just laughed. She is now 76 and is married to him and they are happy. Heck, my mum has a friend who is 44 and is HOT...my 2 younger bro's think so too. You areonly as old as you feel. It's like when you wake up and look in the mirror and you just feel great about yourself. You have a good day and people are attracted to it. Other days you wake up and feel ****, you walk around with no confidence....
loveslife Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 MissJonesss, this is like thread number 5,427 from you about being too old to get a guy. I'm getting old just reading all of them. If you'll notice it's the women in their 20's who worry about age, not the women over 35. We know better. So there's something to look forward to there. Now get out and enjoy your life, stop worrying about aging and LIVE. if you're lucky you'll live to a ripe, OLD age.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 The problem is that you are letting this bother you. Why is any man, on this forum or in your life making you feel low about your age? Everybody is getting older, everybody. Even 20 year old girls. Isn't there more to life? If you think there is, surround yourself with those who agree. Aging is inevitable. FOR EVERYONE. Because clearly alot of men consider women disposable. And that is why I think all women loose here. 20 or 40. Because no matter our age, we are just fighting a loosing battle with men and they don't care. They jsut turn their head for the next new shiney object in their line of vision. There is something very FEMALE about wanting to be attractive and sexy. Men don't hit a certain age and stop wanting to feel like men but women hit a certain age and want to put women down and expect them to not want to feel those things anymore. How many guys on here either brag about dating younger women or think it makes them more of a man? The message is men thing younger women are better and because very woman on the planent ages women are pretty much worthless pieces of crap to men, only important to them depending on their age. Alot of guys around here make it seem like women should settle for being unlovable.
Lizzie60 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 No worries here.. I find young people attractive too.. I wouldn't go back to my 20s... I am very happy where I am .. and I am probably one of the oldest woman on LS... I can still compete with much younger women... so ...it's not a problem for me..
Lucky_One Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Honestly? I am SO freaking thankful that I am not one of the 20 somethings that post here - the vast majority of them worry over the slightest little thing, they don't know how to communicate unless it's by SMS or FB, they hook up instead of date, they give BJs just because it seems to be the thing to do, they have no boundaries and no self-esteem. Adding - that is in general; there are some posters who aren't quite so silly or vapid.
anne1707 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 It seems to me that the women on LS who are most bothered about age are the younger ones. Us "old" ones have more confidence and experience so know that life is not over just because, OMG, you have a line or two around the eyes or a grey hair. As far as I am concerned, I am at my (current) peak. I am healthy, happy, successful, attractive, smart.... and you know what? It gets better as every year passes.
torranceshipman Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 You are definitly experiencing a certain TYPE of man, and this is not representative of all men - not by a long shot. Sounds like the type of men you are talking about are the player/arm candy type, or who just aren't after a solid lasting relationship at this point in their life/or who are pretty young so are definitly still in their 'playing the field' stage of their life (healthy for a young guy if you ask me!). I know a lot of these types of guys, but I can also compare them to a lot of my extremely successful male friends (around mid-late 30's), and they need a lot more substance in a long term partner. Whilst they wouldn't be expressly ageist, they'd be unlikely to get serious with a 25yr old as the life experience is just not there, and to an experienced, confident, intellectual, masculine guy, life experience can be a pretty dam sexy thing! Looks just aren't enough by that point. Being brutal....they might go for the 1 night thing with a young cute girl but they'd be unlikely to want a relationship with her.
caramel c Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Because clearly alot of men consider women disposable. And that is why I think all women loose here. 20 or 40. Because no matter our age, we are just fighting a loosing battle with men and they don't care. They jsut turn their head for the next new shiney object in their line of vision. There is something very FEMALE about wanting to be attractive and sexy. Men don't hit a certain age and stop wanting to feel like men but women hit a certain age and want to put women down and expect them to not want to feel those things anymore. How many guys on here either brag about dating younger women or think it makes them more of a man? The message is men thing younger women are better and because very woman on the planent ages women are pretty much worthless pieces of crap to men, only important to them depending on their age. Alot of guys around here make it seem like women should settle for being unlovable. It's very simple: then don't YOU date those men who feel that way. Problem solved. In the end (if you want to get married) it will only really matter what ONE man thinks of you, all the way around.
deux ex machina Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Okay, so are the comments from men on LS that women are no longer that attractive after 30, an accurage reflection of the real world? I am in my mid 20s, and I notice I attract a lot of older men, and young guys (some teens). But even in my mid 20s, I see guys my age looking at even younger girls, and I'm still supposed to be in my prime. I worry if this will get worse as I get older. I understand your fear. When I was your age, I wondered about it, too. It's just not something that takes up space in my mind anymore. I think it's because I know I bring a lot to the table, so I don't think about it.
northstar1 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Okay, so are the comments from men on LS that women are no longer that attractive after 30, an accurage reflection of the real world? I am in my mid 20s, and I notice I attract a lot of older men, and young guys (some teens). But even in my mid 20s, I see guys my age looking at even younger girls, and I'm still supposed to be in my prime. I worry if this will get worse as I get older. With all due respect, I think you may want to explore going to talk to someone about this, or join a support group. This issue is prevading your life to the point where it seems to impacting your daily happiness and self-esteem.
Sam Spade Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Dont worry about it. Aging is not only a physical process. By the time you are 30, 40, 50...lots of things about you will change. Most importantly, your priorities, your confidence, and your sense of humor. You will still get attention, you will still be attractive...and to those who do not find you so...they just dont come under your radar anymore. This is the most important piece of advice there is on aging. The problem is not with aging per se, but with not acting your age/or have expectations 'approrpiate' for your age. The biggest confusion, that easily cmes acros as ageism, comes from the tming of starting a fabiliy having kids etc. (not with attractiveness per se - peole these days are attractive waay into their 50s). If family, white picket fense, the whole shebang is a priority, naturally younger women (and men) have an advantage as far as stereotypical relationships are concerned. This doesn't make older women 40+ (or men) any less desireable or less worthy of love, but a relationship under those circumstances is likely (and imo - probably should) involve different priorities. It's not better or worse - just different. What's a problem is having the exact same relationship expectations and priorities in each and every decade of our life.
BCCA Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Women in their 20's, in my experience, are mostly just heartbreakers. They dont take relationships seriously, and they have untold amounts of options for more guys, so they can litterally just be big brats and have all the fun they want. Theyre great, but a lot of them are just not relationship material. I would much rather find a woman who has had some real life experience, knows what she wants, and knows how to treat others.
Author MissJoness Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 The reason why I talk about this a lot is because ageism is just all over this forum, it's hard not to miss it or to not be affected by it in some way. And men seem to find age a big concern. There are so many threads with men stating that they don't find women over 30/35 attractive; how they prefer younger women who are fertile. How can I sit back and act like this doesn't bother me at all?
Jersey Shortie Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 And when other men say "should I date this 21 year old" ..all the other guys follow up with "oh yeah ,go for it! You're the man! Wow godo job! you got the prize!" wink wink, nudge, nudge..... Why don't men feel that way about when a man dates a 41 year old woman? The insinuation from alot of men here is that a 35 year old man has more worth then a 35 year old woman. It's disheartening. We don't even get a chance. When that same 21 year old girl hits 35, she can watch the same man that use to drool for her ogle younger women. That seems to be what men do more times then not. Women think men are great and wonderful and men think women are worthless unless they are a certain age and breast size.
AAlike Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Because clearly alot of men consider women disposable. yep, that's a very logical passage - clearly. How many guys on here either brag about dating younger women or think it makes them more of a man? The message is men thing younger women are better and because very woman on the planent ages women are pretty much worthless pieces of crap to men, only important to them depending on their age. Alot of guys around here make it seem like women should settle for being unlovable. JS, the stuff that you are writing is starting to border on psychosis. If you haven't talked to a therapist yet I hope you do soon.
northstar1 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 And when other men say "should I date this 21 year old" ..all the other guys follow up with "oh yeah ,go for it! You're the man! Wow godo job! you got the prize!" wink wink, nudge, nudge..... Why don't men feel that way about when a man dates a 41 year old woman? The insinuation from alot of men here is that a 35 year old man has more worth then a 35 year old woman. It's disheartening. We don't even get a chance. When that same 21 year old girl hits 35, she can watch the same man that use to drool for her ogle younger women. That seems to be what men do more times then not. Women think men are great and wonderful and men think women are worthless unless they are a certain age and breast size. Tunnel vision meet Jersey Shortie. You are once again generalizing and lumping all men into this category. I am in my mid 30's and I am dating a girl in her early 30's. Why? Because she is beautiful, intelligent, mature. focussed and has a lot of similiar interests. And she's also a B cup and that is just fine with me. As a man, should I generalize by giving a blanket questions "Why do girls flock to the guy driving the Porsche vs the guy driving the Prius?" or "Why do girls prefer dating jerks who buy them new bags and shoes over the guy who will actually treat them nicely??".
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