bella16 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Its been almost two months since the breakup. I was literally a mess. We were only together 5 1/2 months. He broke things off.. I cried, begged, got depressed, and hated the world. I broke NC a few times and it got me nowhere. Finally two weeks ago he makes it clear that he doesn't want a relationship so I finally let him know that was my last text to him, I am letting go and I need to move on with my life. Just to let you all know...the breakup was dumb. Neither one of us hurt eachother. We just texted way too much and I was impatient at times and he got overwhelmed and broke it off. That is why I took so hard, because I really didn't do anything to deserve it. These past two weeks I couldn't believe how great I was doing. I was happy all the time, hanging out with friends, I have 2 trips to look forward to, and I have not thought about him at all. I could not believe I was healing that quick! Then lastnight, outta nowhere I get a text msg from him. "Whats up?"... I ignore it and I get the same text again while I was sleeping, again I ignore it. This morning I get another text from him, I ignore it again. Again an hour later "So what now you can't talk to me?" I finally caved and said "theres nothing to talk about!" and he said there was, "we need to talk about you, then me". Now hes telling me he wants to get back together and its in my hands now, its up to me. I never saw this coming. He was so adiment about his decision. Now this? I am so confused because I still love him, but I cannot be available for him when hes "ready" everytime! He told me to think about it. The relationship was still in its new stage so we still have a lot get to know about eachother. Anyone have any advice on this?? I really can't believe just like that, the balls in my court, when a month ago I prayed that he'd come back but didn't. NC really does work... at least in this situation, when I wasn't doing it to get him back!
HBJen Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Hey Bella, Let me just say that - with only 5 months invested, you are very lucky to see right now, that he is the type of guy to bail on a whim. I would wait and take your time, make sure that he is sincere, because of course, everyone makes mistakes. And from my experience, men make pretty rash decisions without thinking about the consequences until afterwards. I just know that - it would have been much easier if 2 years ago this happened to me, rather than after investing so much time and heart into the relationship. Make sure that it is genuine love that you feel, and its not just the comfort of having him around. Make sure that he really wants you and is willing to invest himself in you just as much as you are willing to do.
rubo Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I feel for you, and it is always such a bad thing when you finally have moved on..and then you get some info or text and it just throws you back to where you started. I'm no expert in relationships..but I could sound like he just wants what he can't get?. You begged him and so on, so the power was in his corner, and then when you finally gave up and accepted it...he misses this..and that is why he wants you back..or at least you craving and wanting him. If he really wants you back, he will do whatever he can.. So give him some time..and make sure that what he says is 1005 true and that he have no secret agenda. That is just my thoughts..Hope you can use it. The best of luck Rune
Author bella16 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Thanks HBJen & rubo! Yes a few people have told me that its better that it happened now, rather than years from now, so I am fortunate of that. Its just so weird that the last time we made contact he assured me that things between us could not be fixed, so why now all of a sudden can they??? It does feel very empowering to have the ball in my court now though I must say. LOL
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