A reflection of the past and today

[mr.dream merchant]

Dunno if many of you posters here now were here before, specifically in early June when my GF left me. Oh yeah, I was so there, and heartbroken like a mother ****er. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't **** without having her in my head. When she left she went stone cold NC and the only time I ever heard from her again was over the phone when she was joyously kicking me while I was down. There was such anger and hate in her voice. She wasn't the person I knew.

 

Besides that little bit of a summary, or whatever you want to call it, its easy to say that I have moved on, quite a bit, since June 10th. Do I still think about her? Yeah, sometimes. Are there feelings when those thoughts cross my mind? For the most part, nope, none at all. Sometimes there are, but they aren't feelings of hurt or anger, just kind of a "meh her loss" feeling.

 

I can say without a millisecond of doubt, that I am far better off now than I ever was in the past year.

 

I'm single as ever, and that feeling of having nobody, has been long gone. My friends, family, a couple of crushes here and there, have really helped me gain my composure. I've got my old swag and confidence back, and that invisible force weighing me down (ex-gf) is long gone. I've got more cash than I know what to do with lol...and I've got more free time and fun than I can barely handle. The summer began sour but definitely sweetened, I mean, big time, after I lost residual feelings for the ex.

 

She hasn't contacted me to this day. And for MY sake, I hope she never does. And I hope I never see or hear from, or about, her ever again in my entire life. I don't hate her, but I'd rather keep things the way they are.

 

I hope this gives somebody who is in the same position I was almost 3 months ago, some form of hope and enthusiasm about the future. Because that feeling..to be heartbroken, its really rotten. And I feel for anybody who's going through it now. Keep your head up. Keep positive. The most most MOST important thing for you to do is stay NO. CONTACT. with your ex. I don't care how friendly, sad, whatever else they are. NO. CONTACT.

 

It isn't for you to win them back, it isn't for them to miss you. IT IS FOR YOU TO HEAL AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

 

I suppose if I spent everyday of the NC hoping she'd come back I wouldn't have made any progress, and I'm so thankful and proud that I didn't.

 

So for those who are heartbroken, sad, alone, newly made insomniacs, borderline anorexic lol, cant turn on the radio because you hear a song that reminds you of your ex, those of you who cry to yourself for 5 minutes every other day or two, or those of you who cry all day for weeks, and to those of you who want to beat your ex's face in, or wish the illest of misfortunes upon your ex until the anger brings tears to your eyes, those of you who look up at the sky wondering "why me? what did I do to deserve this?", to those of you who fear to fall asleep because the face of who you loved is now a nightmare who frequents your quiet slumber, and finally, for those of you who truely did hurt your ex..I want you to know, and I'm sure you do, and you've heard it all before a million times over and I'm sure you're saying "yeah yeah Mr. Dream Merchant, blow it out your ass" by now....but I'm going to tell you again.

 

Things really do look up. Whether you want to or not, it is an inevitable process that takes place when you least expect it. Things really do look up, and life really does go on, and that ex you're so hurt over, fades into nothing over time. Songs don't phase me, the song we chose for our wedding, doesn't phase me. And they won't phase you either. And you won't cry either. And you won't miss them either. And you won't dwell on them either. And you WILL, , and you will...you will get better. And the days will get brighter. And they will come to you, when you least expect it, and that cold space your ex left for you will be filled with someone else's warm and TRUE love. Their real, 100% UNCONDITIONAL love. And you will smile. And some of you will be back, just like I am right now, to tell others who are where we were months, maybe years ago.

 

Things really do get better.

 

Now for this no seatbelt ticket of $116.00 - ****!

[Arabella]

I just wanted to post to say... thank you.

 

I'm deep in the middle of something that looks like a break up but I don't know if it is or not. Aggravated by the fact that he's in a mentally unstable condition and I'm afraid something has happened to him. I can't think, I can't eat, I can't sleep... all I do is wish he'll text me so I know he's alright - even if he never wants to speak to me again.

 

Reading your post helped.

 

Arabella

[moo]

Yes, thanks a bunch for the post.

 

and Arabella, geez, I'm sorry you are going thru this.

[Sbrizio]

Ehi MDM, thanks with all my hearth. You're bringing some light in a dark place, today!