rubo Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Hi all Some of you may have read my story in a former thread ( http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t200324/ ) So yeah i 5 days its been 1 month since she broke up, and about 2½ week since she wrote to me and asked how I was doing. Otherwise NC from her and me. I really really miss her and I've considered writing her an email with the following...any thoughts? " If I knew that the last time we saw eachother was the last time I that I ever should hold you, kiss you, hug and feel you, I would never have stopped. I miss you every moment and every second of the day, and I know that you're already over me, but I need to tell you this because it hurts so much. We are so perfect together, and it was so easy when we first started dating...we belong together. -Rune " What do you think? (when she broke up she said her feelings had changed) Should I send it to her?..maybe in a handwritten letter or something? Hope you have some thoughts:o
dianna Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 It made me cry but I don't know if you should sent her.....I told my boyfriend almost the same thing and he got angry.. But if you do decide to send it...handwrite it best of luck
adamt Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Please don't send it. give it a ferw months and see if you still want to send it. it wil not help your chances of getting them back and it wil lmake you look sad and desperate
Author rubo Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 @ dianna Thanks a lot for your feedback. It nice to get some persons from the "outsides" oppinion. i'm sorry that your ex got angry...he shouldn't..not when you write such a emotional letter. hope you're ok now My friends have adviced me not to, because they say my ex will think of me as pathetic and a looser..but yeah..i don't know what to do..
dianna Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 well ..i feel ..just like you said ..pathetic and a loser but nevertheless ..im trying to move on..even though im going to see him everyday in college.. Happy happy me
Author rubo Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Please don't send it. give it a ferw months and see if you still want to send it. it wil not help your chances of getting them back and it wil lmake you look sad and desperate Okay..maybe you're right. What kills me is that, much like other stories on this forum, my ex seems to already have moved on. Thanks for taking your time to read it:)
mickleb Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 If she's moved on, hon, you REALLY shouldn't send it. It will probably just annoy her. I think you will be happier if you retain your dignity. I do get how you feel - so many times I've planned letters, texts, conversations with my ex, going crazy over what I could say that would be most effective in getting him to reconsider. Then I sleep on it, wake up and, when my head is clear, I remember that, since he broke up with me (about 6 weeks ago), my feelings have been all over the shop! You don't seem at all certain that this is what you should do. If she really is the only one for you and vice-versa, you'll both feel the same way in 6 months, a year, a decade. If this is the case, it makes sense that she will find her way back to you, apologising and sobbing that she made the biggest mistake of her life, doesn't it? It was her decision to leave so it MUST be her decision to return. Then prove to you she'll never do it again. Your letter will only make her back further away from you. Sorry. xx
Author rubo Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 If she's moved on, hon, you REALLY shouldn't send it. It will probably just annoy her. I think you will be happier if you retain your dignity. I do get how you feel - so many times I've planned letters, texts, conversations with my ex, going crazy over what I could say that would be most effective in getting him to reconsider. Then I sleep on it, wake up and, when my head is clear, I remember that, since he broke up with me (about 6 weeks ago), my feelings have been all over the shop! You don't seem at all certain that this is what you should do. If she really is the only one for you and vice-versa, you'll both feel the same way in 6 months, a year, a decade. If this is the case, it makes sense that she will find her way back to you, apologising and sobbing that she made the biggest mistake of her life, doesn't it? It was her decision to leave so it MUST be her decision to return. Then prove to you she'll never do it again. Your letter will only make her back further away from you. Sorry. xx First of all, thanks for you reply:) All the signs I've seen from her, tells me that she has moved on..(i mean who gets a datingprofile 2 hours after breaking up with ther ex, if they haven't moved on?) Yeah you are right, sleeping on it always help. And also having a break-up buddy. No I'm very confused, because at some point you wanna do whatever you can to get her back, but your mind also tells you "hey it'll only make her mad etc." Yeah, you are right, I don't think that she will, she's probably a little to proud, but now that you say it, I can see you¨re right. I Have one Q though. Instead of making a "i want you back"-letter, should I then make a "its ok"-letteR? sayting "you know what, you're right, it was the best for both of us..." and so on... Because people always want what they can't have..right? right know she might be over me because she brooke up..she might not miss me because she feels on top "i dumped him, i'm not sad..he is".. any experience in that? Again thanks so much..its good that someone tells you the truth..it what you need sometimes..eventhough its hard:(..so thanks:)
HBJen Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Coming from a place that is atleast timewise, similar to you (Been a month since the love of my life and I broke up) - I can say that the letter, isnt going to do you any good. Even if she still has feelings for you, she is going to feel pressured by your words....which will then bring her into a place where she feels like she needs to withdrawal. I think its best that if you are going to write her a letter, write her something simple that is Non-Selfish. Saying something along the lines of: How are you? Things here are going well with me! I just wanted to send a quick email to see how you are and what you have been up to. I hope that you are happy! And thats about it. Being light, upbeat, mysterious - can add a lot more to the situation for you. As sweet as your words are (Trust me, I have felt to do the same thing) - I think they can only be perceived as sweet if she is looking to hear that information from you....and at this point, you dont really know. Good luck my friend - trust me, you are not alone in how you feel. I havent taken the No Contact route (much to the disapproval of people on this forum) - but, I still feel the need for "more" constantly. This forum is great to hear outside perspective though - and its nice to know there are other people going through the same thing as you.
GrayClouds Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I Have one Q though. Instead of making a "i want you back"-letter, should I then make a "its ok"-letteR? sayting "you know what, you're right, it was the best for both of us..." and so on... Because people always want what they can't have..right? right know she might be over me because she brooke up..she might not miss me because she feels on top "i dumped him, i'm not sad..he is".. any experience in that? That is internet BS trying to sell you "How to get your ex back" crap. Its game playing. If she wants you it will not be because you played her. IF anything you will relieve her guilt and why do you want to do that she dump you and tried to start dating 2 hours after the break up. Read this: So you want a second chance?
Author rubo Posted September 2, 2009 Author Posted September 2, 2009 IF anything you will relieve her guilt and why do you want to do that she dump you and tried to start dating 2 hours after the break up. Read this: So you want a second chance? Thanks for your reply:) Yeah I guess you¨re right. Just gonna try to forget the girl. Again Thanks
GrayClouds Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Thanks for your reply:) Yeah I guess you¨re right. Just gonna try to forget the girl. Again Thanks It is not easy and hurts like heck, and every time your making some progress a ghost comes and haunts you but it's the only way. And in time, it does get better, good luck
Author rubo Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 It is not easy and hurts like heck, and every time your making some progress a ghost comes and haunts you but it's the only way. And in time, it does get better, good luck That is so true..those ghosts haunts you so much! But as you said, you just gotta keep going:)
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