blackhair Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 My ex girlfriend left me almost 3 months ago now but recently I've seen her hanging out in a pub that she generally wouldn't go to that often. We haven't really communicated since and I've given her space although as ye know, that is very hard to do. Anyway, I was out last Saturday and noticed her with her sister and her boyfriend but I didn't approach them. I went to the toilet and on my way back, her sister spotted me and called me over. I was like a rabbit in the headlights, I had mentally prepared for such an encounter but physically I prob couldn't show it i.e. acting all happy and delighted. I spoke to the sister only, while quickly glancing over at my ex and her sisters boyfriend...I just couldn't bring myself to hold eye contact with her. I say the conversation lasted all but 1 minute. I finished up wishing them a good night and left to meet up with my friends. I noticed that during my conversation she was continuously looking at me with a smile on her face. However, my actions probably came across as someone who had no interest in her or no interest in talking to her. I miss her so much and I am thinking of just asking her to meet for a coffee, so that we can have a talk. I know people say NC but she is the best thing that has happened to me and I don't want her thinking that I hate her...if that's what she thinks. Does the fact that her sister called me over and the fact that my ex was smiling at me suggest that there is some hope for us? Should I ask her to meet for a chat? Your comments would be appreciated...thanks
silic0ntoad Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Don't ask her for anything. Honestly, she can smile all she pleases. But she still cut you loose. You need to let go of false hope, honestly. It's sooo bad for your healing process.
Beeotch Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Smiling at someone hardly means there is hope for a relationship...that is a stretch to connect those dots. I smile at lots of people...does not mean I want to date them. I even flirt with past exes but I don't want them back either. Saying all that to say: getting back your relationship is a lot more complex and cannot be guaged by something as simple as a smile. You would have to get back friendly with her and all that good stuff before you can even begin to know if she still sees you in that way.
Author blackhair Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Smiling at someone hardly means there is hope for a relationship...that is a stretch to connect those dots. I smile at lots of people...does not mean I want to date them. I even flirt with past exes but I don't want them back either. Saying all that to say: getting back your relationship is a lot more complex and cannot be guaged by something as simple as a smile. You would have to get back friendly with her and all that good stuff before you can even begin to know if she still sees you in that way. You know, you are right but why would her sister call me over to talk, if she knew her sister didn't want anything to do with me?
Beeotch Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 You know, you are right but why would her sister call me over to talk, if she knew her sister didn't want anything to do with me? It could mean she does not hate you/dislike you ...but it is not necessarily a sign she wants you to be her bf again. That's what I am saying, being friendly with someone and wanting to date them are not the same. So in order to be able to know if you have a shot at a relationship A LOT more factors must come into play.Even having sex with an ex doesn't mean they still want to be with you in a relationship, which is why some people keeping having sex with their ex thinking it means they want them and they get hurt because they just want the sex and not them. So don't get carried away by a smile or her sister calling you over...as those 2 things could mean anything.
Author blackhair Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 It could mean she does not hate you/dislike you ...but it is not necessarily a sign she wants you to be her bf again. That's what I am saying, being friendly with someone and wanting to date them are not the same. So in order to be able to know if you have a shot at a relationship A LOT more factors must come into play.Even having sex with an ex doesn't mean they still want to be with you in a relationship, which is why some people keeping having sex with their ex thinking it means they want them and they get hurt because they just want the sex and not them. So don't get carried away by a smile or her sister calling you over...as those 2 things could mean anything. Ok, point taking, but instead of beating my head off a wall (not literally) - is there any harm in asking her for a talk - ok, I know it could hurt an awful lot more but at least I can get a definitive result. And hopeing against hope...there maybe a reconciliation, but how will I know otherwise?
GrayClouds Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 You know, you are right but why would her sister call me over to talk, if she knew her sister didn't want anything to do with me? Just something to ponder: One possibility they wanted to find out how you were doing, and if it was poorly it would boost your GF ego, if it was well, it would relieve her guilt. She may have been smiling to give you the impression that she was doing great vs being interested in you.
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