I'm dating an illegal immigrant : /

[joncolon4]

yea the job is going on under the table. Her dad has connections with some people apparantly. He knows the owner of the place my gf works at. she said she used the fake SS# to apply...its really confusing to me...all of it.

And I still don't know if she can really graduate or not. Everyone keeps telling me different answers.

I called 2 lawyers today...I'm awaiting their reply.

 

BTW Lish is the coolest name I've ever heard

[Lish]

yea the job is going on under the table. Her dad has connections with some people apparantly. He knows the owner of the place my gf works at. she said she used the fake SS# to apply...its really confusing to me...all of it.

And I still don't know if she can really graduate or not. Everyone keeps telling me different answers.

I called 2 lawyers today...I'm awaiting their reply.

 

BTW Lish is the coolest name I've ever heard

 

Look hunny, you are fifteen... you have a lot of time left before you have to start dealing with lawyers. Really.

You may feel like you love this girl and you may well do, but you have to get yourself out of this situation. Fake IDs/birth certificates? They are passing themselves off as US citazens and using fakery to get the benefits of it. Come on.. this is beyond wrong & you know it.

These people should NOT be in the country. They should be reported immediately and deported.

 

Please... just listen to me... by wanting to help her, you are therefore condoning this family for illegal behaviour. This may not be her fault... and you may care, but i think you know deep down that this is worng. You need to stay away.... . well away.

[joncolon4]

And I don't disagree at all. They shuldn't be here. They should be in Mexico making a living over there. Because the real citizens are paying taxes and they don't have to. I actually thought about reporting them I really did. But if I want to be with this girl I can't at this moment. I will. Just not now. and I guess technically that makes me an accomplice or whatever.

 

I thought to myself last night, why in the world am I doing this for this girl? I'm 15 and I'm dealing with lawyers and immigration laws. This is not cool. I've had the same headache for the past 3 weeks because of all this. I guess the thing that keeps me going is my mom's support and my GF's love.

But I still consider myself to be a complete wacko for doing this and I'm scared as heck.

[Island Girl]

And I don't disagree at all. They shuldn't be here. They should be in Mexico making a living over there. Because the real citizens are paying taxes and they don't have to. I actually thought about reporting them I really did. But if I want to be with this girl I can't at this moment. I will. Just not now. and I guess technically that makes me an accomplice or whatever.

 

I thought to myself last night, why in the world am I doing this for this girl? I'm 15 and I'm dealing with lawyers and immigration laws. This is not cool. I've had the same headache for the past 3 weeks because of all this. I guess the thing that keeps me going is my mom's support and my GF's love.

But I still consider myself to be a complete wacko for doing this and I'm scared as heck.

 

If you want to be the information gatherer that's fine.

Get HER the information from the internet - and possible lawyers over the phone and let her handle it.

 

You can even print out info from the websites you find since she doesn't have a computer -- and tell her libraries have computers she can use herself.

 

You are trying to help a girl you care for.

 

Should you take on all of the responsibility --? No. Not from where I sit. I am dealing with immigration and attorneys, etc. But my husband and I have been in a relationship for 8 years. And I am quite a bit older than you are.

It has wreaked havoc on us individually. Stress, depression, frustration, you name it. And I wouldn't wish this "process" on my worst enemy -- well, save one - LOL.

 

My point is you want to help - you can help - by doing some of the basics. But don't buy in that this is somehow your problem and up to you to fix it.

[joncolon4]

yea thats absolutely true...its not my responsibilty..even if I think its partly mine...

but she would need me anyways wouldn't she? because they only way she can come to this country is if shes sponsered by someone. and she has no family here so it would have to be a spouse...or is there some other way?

[Island Girl]

yea thats absolutely true...its not my responsibilty..even if I think its partly mine...

but she would need me anyways wouldn't she? because they only way she can come to this country is if shes sponsered by someone. and she has no family here so it would have to be a spouse...or is there some other way?

 

She can apply to come here to go to school - for a job -- there are all kinds of ways.

 

You are really putting the cart before the horse.

 

She needs a valid birth certificate. That is what she needs right now.

 

Over the next couple of years she can figure the other stuff out and get a plan together.

 

Right now she should be saving every dime she gets (because her parents WILL NOT go back to Mexico for her to help her live there until she can get whatever kind of visa to come back).

She will need to pay her way. Even if she finds relatives to assist her -- she will need money.

 

And right now she needs to figure out how she can get a birth certificate and get legitimate in Mexico. She needs to be legitimate somewhere - and it sure as hell won't be the US.

 

That is enough to deal with -- help her with info about that. Get her on the right path to get THAT taken care of.

 

SHE needs to be thinking about a plan.

 

I get the impression she has a lot of reasons why she can't and is looking to you to shoulder the burden. There is NO EXCUSE to not help herself.

I don't care how strict her parents are -- yadda yadda. She ca get on a computer - at school, at the library, etc. and figure this out - get it DONE.

 

She can pay an attorney if she needs one. She can find one and there is plenty of assistance where you are to help Spanish speaking people who have limited resources (such as MONEY) -- there are advocates and centers to help.

 

She needs to be proactive and start doing -- not just sit and be worried while she tells you and you scramble to fix it.

 

Her parents screwed her -- but she can help herself get out of the mess and get back on track.

[joncolon4]

yes of course..i just told her about 3 hours ago. the first thing you need to do is finish high school and get back to mexico. she said she has relatives there so i told her she needs to live with someone until she can get herself straightened out. and i told her save save save save save save. she understands all that and what she's doing on her part is focusing on school and getting a 4.00 gpa with no getting in trouble.

 

i understand that I shouldn't be doing all of the work. if she really wants it she'll do it. and she really wants it. She's talking with the school counsolers about her situation also, so I know its not like she's leaving me all the work.

[Lish]

yes of course..i just told her about 3 hours ago. the first thing you need to do is finish high school and get back to mexico. she said she has relatives there so i told her she needs to live with someone until she can get herself straightened out. and i told her save save save save save save. she understands all that and what she's doing on her part is focusing on school and getting a 4.00 gpa with no getting in trouble.

 

i understand that I shouldn't be doing all of the work. if she really wants it she'll do it. and she really wants it. She's talking with the school counsolers about her situation also, so I know its not like she's leaving me all the work.

 

You're being very generous by giving her any info at all... this is her problem, not yours. Seriously, you considered marrying this girl at 16.... are there no alarm bells ringing in your head saying it's not right? none of this is right. I stick by what I said and yes breakups are hard but....I personally think you should get out. As in...now.

[joncolon4]

Breakup...hmmm no way

not to sound ignorant of course Lish. I'm NOT going to marry her at 16, that was just a thought. I can't anyways or else she'll get deported and banned from the country.

[joncolon4]

Well we can't do anything till we're 18..

[Lish]

Well we can't do anything till we're 18..

So really, she should be deported now & stopped living off the back of fake IDs to rip the benefits that a LEGAL US citazen gets?

[joncolon4]

So really, she should be deported now & stopped living off the back of fake IDs to rip the benefits that a LEGAL US citazen gets?

 

well again its not that she wants to rip off the US. shes here cuz her parents are makin her stay till shes 18. im not gunna report her if she wants a high school education and a better life. besides shes not causing any harm to us directly anywayz. she'll pay her debt to society when the times riyte.

[Island Girl]

well again its not that she wants to rip off the US. shes here cuz her parents are makin her stay till shes 18. im not gunna report her if she wants a high school education and a better life. besides shes not causing any harm to us directly anywayz. she'll pay her debt to society when the times riyte.

 

 

She had no choice in the matter and has to make the best out of a really bad situation. It is completely understandable that she finish school here and graduate. She is a child facing a tough predicament.

 

That said, when she turns 18 she can go back to Mexico and live with her relatives. She can save money now and get in contact with relatives who she can stay with so she will be safe.

 

Then she can apply to come back for her education or you can then apply for a spousal visa if you are still in that frame of mind.

[xpaperxcutx]

yes of course..i just told her about 3 hours ago. the first thing you need to do is finish high school and get back to mexico. she said she has relatives there so i told her she needs to live with someone until she can get herself straightened out. and i told her save save save save save save. she understands all that and what she's doing on her part is focusing on school and getting a 4.00 gpa with no getting in trouble.

 

i understand that I shouldn't be doing all of the work. if she really wants it she'll do it. and she really wants it. She's talking with the school counsolers about her situation also, so I know its not like she's leaving me all the work.

 

If she's talking with her counselor then chances are the counselor will report her to higher authorities.

[Island Girl]

If she's talking with her counselor then chances are the counselor will report her to higher authorities.

 

No she won't. There are rules as to what HAS to be reported and this isn't one of them.

[joncolon4]

ahaa that's what I was actually worrying about...thanks for clearing that up Island Girl

 

Lots of people are telling me to forget about this girl and its really confusing me

[Island Girl]

ahaa that's what I was actually worrying about...thanks for clearing that up Island Girl

 

Lots of people are telling me to forget about this girl and its really confusing me

 

 

Just relax. You are really putting too much pressure on yourself with all of this.

 

You finish school (and apply yourself! ) and let her finish school while working on her issues.

The birth certificate solution should be the only focus other than just being young and in a new relationship. And that responsibility is on her side - not yours. You can help with info but it should be imprtant enough for her that she is being proactive to get a handle on what she needs to or will need to do.

 

Breathe - just breathe - and relax.

[joncolon4]

haha i will i will haha. well a lawyer got back to me

she said wait till they pass the DREAM act. which i had no idea existed haha.

[Island Girl]

haha i will i will haha. well a lawyer got back to me

she said wait till they pass the DREAM act. which i had no idea existed haha.

 

Yes -- it is on the table. Perhaps it will get passed - or perhaps humg up in process. Who knows right now but it is an acknowledgment of a very real problem.

 

 

SHE STILL NEEDS A BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

 

What have you learned about that??

[joncolon4]

well i asked the lawyer about that. she told me it wouldn't make a difference and that if the DREAM act was passed then it would be taken care of. So idk we'll just have to wait and see

[cynthiaes89]

hey all,

 

i'm just a regular 15 year old guy, struggling with everyday teenage problems. I don't know if this website is for girls only or what haha...but i came across this website while looking for advice on my current lovelife situation...so here it is i'd luv feedback and advice from whoever so just say how you feel

 

i'm a military kid...dads been in da navy since idk when..we alwayzzzzz move around. Last august we moved here to california. I really hate this place haha. Horrible school system. Terrible crime. Just not a fun time to be here. I'm a sophomore riyte now, and i'm being homeschooled this year cuz my mom thinx its better for me...i completely disagree but oh well i luv and respect my mom more than anything so i'm going along with it...last year i went to a public high school...it waz a pretty crappy school to be frank...but i unexpectantly met someone there. A gurl that i'm still with now. She's just so amazing in so many ways. So hardworking and beautiful and so honest and pure hearted. I'm her first bf and her first kiss.

 

Now...the problems...

 

First off, shes an illegal immigrant from mexico. Her parents crossed the border when she waz about 2 yrs old. She has no birth certificate. She has nothing. As far as being in the system, she doesn't exist.

 

Second, i'm moving back east to florida next year. I know i should never had started a relationship with her because i waz leaving anywayz, but stupid me had to follow my emotions.

 

Now, we only see each other 2-3 times a month. Thats only when my mom has a chance to take me to see her at her job in a bakery, because her parents dont want her dating. So when we do see each other its only when her parents don't know about it. My moms been so understandning about this whole situation and she really tries to work it out when she can, because i also have a 13 year old brother with autism, who takes up most of her time.

 

Whenever i do get to see my gf, its only for no more than an hour, so we try to talk about as much as possible when we do...as far as talking on the phone, it only happens 3-4 times a week. We can sometimes talk on myspace, but thats also hard because she doesn't have a computer.

 

I can really say i've fallen in love with this girl and i want a future with her, but its going to b really difficult because she virtually doesn't exist. I've been looking into immigration laws and talking to many lawyers. It seems like my only option to be with her is to marry her under court when we both turn 16 b4 i leave for florida....when i do she'll get papers and she can graduate from high school and go off to college...and she wants to get herself an education sssooooooooooo much. Shes so intelligent the only thing holding her back is her being illegally here.

 

So...if anyone has any advice at all, or any feedback or comments, please post i'd love to hear what others think about my situation. I'm really confused about it all.

 

Thanx in advance

joncolon4

 

 

 

 

 

o my god john i dont know what to tell you indeed you are too young to be dealing with these kinds of problems but nobody is forcing you either, now there are some misconceptions you think she wont be able to graduate from high school? I dont know any reason why being illegal can stop you from that, i graduated from high school with honors and nobody said anything about my legal status.

Now about the college thing, i cant lie it will get harder but if she's an exceptional student like you say and she applies for private scholarships or finds sponsors that will admire her academic achievement then she will absolutely go to college, a lot of effort, double of the effort that any legal person would have to make but possible.

Now listen her parents are not some monsters that brought their daughter to this country with bad intentions, they are the loving people who raised that girl to be what she is now, that hard working, and kind hearted girl that you are falling in love with, thanks to them you got a chance to meet her. They are their parents and love her and want the best for her just like your mom does for you and your brother. So respect them a lot because they are not terrorists.

Now like i said nobody is forcing you to be with her and go through all this situation if its too hard for you, imagine just how hard it may be for her, you want her to go back to mexico but her parents have probably nothing good waiting for them over there, no jobs, no good education, no money to put food on their table. Do you think theyre just here putting up with a lot of the racist comments they get from some people, and the few opportunities for employment just for the heck of it? No they do it because it is still a little bit better than their lives back in mexico. That is the reality believe it or not. I speak from experience john.

Have some sympathy.

[cynthiaes89]

if she's talking with her counselor then chances are the counselor will report her to higher authorities.

 

man i dont know why some people just talk too much without saying anything, a counselor is there to help her with her dreams of achieving a higher education, he is not some kind of immigration spy. Get your facts straight people

[cynthiaes89]

So really, she should be deported now & stopped living off the back of fake IDs to rip the benefits that a LEGAL US citazen gets?

 

a fake id to work is not ****ing harming anyone, its not like she is using it to credit cards and rip someone off leaving their bank accounts empty, she's a 15 year old girl! come on people what kind of monster are you? she isn't getting any benefits at all, her parents still have to pay taxes like you ****ing do only difference is that she cant get all of that medical help they give us when we need it and were too broke to pay, like medicare, or all that financial aid we get to pay school, or that incentive that obama gave during this bad economy situation, and many other things. so tell me what ****ing benefits is this KID stealing from you, how much ****ing money have her parents taken from you? be real, selfish worthless people like you are what make this world a ****ing hell. get a ****ing life and stop judging without knowing first.

[EsmerKiss7]

Joncolon, I think you are an extremely kind and sweet person. I know your young and all and who knows how things will end up - but I can say that I admire your persistence and pure goodness of heart in trying to help this girl out. I know it sux having a parent in the military and all, and moving all the time, but i'd say somethings going right... Your parents raised a good kid. Good Luck guy.

[icuao2]

I have been dealing with immigration for years -- and every GOOD lawyer will tell you the best thing she (and the two of you) can do for the relationship is NOT marry her here while she is illegal.

 

Right now she has been here over a year -- that is an automatic ten year ban - and they will deport her - make no mistake.

It takes A LOT of money to fight them and they drag things on forever until there is nothing you can do.

 

IF you are serious about marriage then she must go back to Mexico and you apply for a K-1 visa to bring her here as your fiance.

 

It will cost money but a good lawyer can get it done quickly and correctly.

 

That K-1 visa allows her to come here but you will need to finalize the marriage within 90 days.

 

Get married here and then apply to change her status.

She will get a temporary "Green Card".

At 2 years of being married you will have to apply again for a status change to get her 10 year "permanent resident Green Card".

 

Of course all of this should happen when you are 18 or older -- and you will have to show that you can support the two of you. So get prepared for that -- your mom can also be a financial sponsor for her to come over IF she'll do that.

 

 

It sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it? IT IS.

 

And immigration is a Byatch to work with because they do not care about you or your feelings - the situation - and least of all her.

now i divorce and left his child with him due to financial reasons-and noted them on divorce papers never made contact but knew he lied of being a citizen at the time we married before we had any children well this void any inhertence from my present 2nd marriage and also 1 child. PLEASE HELP...