joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Hey all, I'm just a regular 15 year old guy, struggling with everyday teenage problems. I don't know if this website is for girls only or what haha...but I came across this website while looking for advice on my current lovelife situation...so here it is I'd luv feedback and advice from whoever so just say how you feel I'm a military kid...dads been in da navy since idk when..we alwayzzzzz move around. last august we moved here to California. i really hate this place haha. horrible school system. terrible crime. just not a fun time to be here. I'm a sophomore riyte now, and I'm being homeschooled this year cuz my mom thinx its better for me...I completely disagree but oh well i luv and respect my mom more than anything so I'm going along with it...last year I went to a public high school...it waz a pretty crappy school to be frank...but i unexpectantly met someone there. A gurl that I'm still with now. She's just so amazing in so many ways. So hardworking and beautiful and so honest and pure hearted. I'm her first BF and her first kiss. Now...the problems... First off, shes an illegal immigrant from Mexico. Her parents crossed the border when she waz about 2 yrs old. she has no birth certificate. she has nothing. as far as being in the system, she doesn't exist. Second, I'm moving back east to Florida next year. I know I should never had started a relationship with her because I waz leaving anywayz, but stupid me had to follow my emotions. Now, we only see each other 2-3 times a month. Thats only when my mom has a chance to take me to see her at her job in a bakery, because her parents dont want her dating. So when we do see each other its only when her parents don't know about it. My moms been so understandning about this whole situation and she really tries to work it out when she can, because I also have a 13 year old brother with Autism, who takes up most of her time. Whenever I do get to see my GF, its only for no more than an hour, so we try to talk about as much as possible when we do...as far as talking on the phone, it only happens 3-4 times a week. We can sometimes talk on myspace, but thats also hard because she doesn't have a computer. I can really say i've fallen in love with this girl and I want a future with her, but its going to b really difficult because she virtually doesn't exist. I've been looking into immigration laws and talking to many lawyers. It seems like my only option to be with her is to marry her under court when we both turn 16 b4 I leave for florida....when I do she'll get papers and she can graduate from high school and go off to college...and she wants to get herself an education sssooooooooooo much. shes so intelligent the only thing holding her back is her being illegally here. So...if anyone has any advice at all, or any feedback or comments, please post I'd love to hear what others think about my situation. I'm really confused about it all. Thanx in advance joncolon4
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 OK, well...first off, something smells incredibly foul. Kind of like a troll. Especially with the smelliest piece of the digestive system as part of your handle. That being said...IF you are legit. Dude, are you serious? I'm going to be the first to say it - you'd be INSANE to do what you are contemplating. You're only 15, for God's sake. Don't do something that is supposed to be a LIFETIME commitment at such a young age. Marriage is hard enough without adding the other stressors to it that you are proposing. Do you really think her family is going to be all, "Yeah, okay, she married a gringo, we're so happy" when they didn't even want her DATING anybody? Then you want to add distance to this and legal problems. Uh-huh. I've been 15. You won't listen. You'll do what you want to do. If you've talked to so many attorneys, then you should have your answer already as to what to do. And if you're wanting us to decide what's in your heart, that's impossible. But as a 29-yo that has been in young love...I say don't do anything rash. Let's see how you guys handle the distance before you plunge into a freaking sacred contract such as marriage.
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I have been dealing with immigration for years -- and every GOOD lawyer will tell you the best thing she (and the two of you) can do for the relationship is NOT marry her here while she is illegal. Right now she has been here over a year -- that is an automatic ten year ban - and they will deport her - make no mistake. It takes A LOT of money to fight them and they drag things on forever until there is nothing you can do. IF you are serious about marriage then she must go back to Mexico and you apply for a K-1 visa to bring her here as your fiance. It will cost money but a good lawyer can get it done quickly and correctly. That K-1 visa allows her to come here but you will need to finalize the marriage within 90 days. Get married here and then apply to change her status. She will get a temporary "Green Card". At 2 years of being married you will have to apply again for a status change to get her 10 year "permanent resident Green Card". Of course all of this should happen when you are 18 or older -- and you will have to show that you can support the two of you. So get prepared for that -- your mom can also be a financial sponsor for her to come over IF she'll do that. It sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it? IT IS. And immigration is a Byatch to work with because they do not care about you or your feelings - the situation - and least of all her.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 hahaha ok well first off...im not white buddy im %100 puerto rican lolz and yea i totally understand about the whole life commitement thing and i know im only 15. im not like most rebelious 15 year olds trust me i know what im talking about. I'm not an ignorant ball of emotional explosions. my friends r adults. im alot more mature than people think. not to b ignorant at all. well yea u r riyte about it all though. i dont get the thing that smells foul though... now the thing is that she can't graduate from high school without a social, so thats another reason as to y we shuld get married also...wow i can't believe im using the term married...and in california all we need is one parent to b with us in court to give consent because we'll both be 16.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 waitwaitwaitwaitwait.... so if i marry her she won't get papers riyte away then...that was my first thought...but i didn't think that would make a diff though and do yuu need a social to graduate from high school???
burning 4 revenge Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Id like the illegal immigrant Citizen Erased to come visit me
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 hahaha ok well first off...im not white buddy im %100 puerto rican lolz and yea i totally understand about the whole life commitement thing and i know im only 15. im not like most rebelious 15 year olds trust me i know what im talking about. I'm not an ignorant ball of emotional explosions. my friends r adults. im alot more mature than people think. not to b ignorant at all. well yea u r riyte about it all though. i dont get the thing that smells foul though... now the thing is that she can't graduate from high school without a social, so thats another reason as to y we shuld get married also...wow i can't believe im using the term married...and in california all we need is one parent to b with us in court to give consent because we'll both be 16. Being married will NOT stop them from deporting her. Being married does NOT automatically entitle her to stay. It is a HUGE red flag to them especially if she came here illegally and has no papers at all. If you have been consulting with lawyers they should have told you this already. There are forums here on the internet where you can read about other people's situations where they have been in the same situation and how they are moving through immigration. Some of them married as you are planning to do -- and their spouse WAS deported after the fact. Some of these are American women who were pregnant when their husbands got deported. use http://dogreatgood.com and search US Immigration forums. Do some reading there.
Citizen Erased Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Id like the illegal immigrant Citizen Erased to come visit me Well if it was just for a visit I'd get a visa...but if you want to marry me so I can stay I won't say no. As for the OP...dude wtf? Come on. You're 15, if you want to marry someone at the age of 16, an illegal immigrant isn't the uh...best choice.
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 waitwaitwaitwaitwait.... so if i marry her she won't get papers riyte away then...that was my first thought...but i didn't think that would make a diff though and do yuu need a social to graduate from high school??? NO you won't get papers right away. There is a lot of red tape to get through even if you are doing things the right way -- which is bringing her over on a K-1 visa FIRST. And when Immigration traces her and finds out she is illegal -- your marriage will not matter so much. Now a good lawyer can work around it -- but it will take thousands of dollars to fight them.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 okokok i understand a lot better now... aite so i also told her about going back to mexico though. her parents arn't about to go bak. shes stuck. she cnt go bak cuz her parents wnt let her. she wants to graduate from high school nd get a education. nd go off to college...so ur telling me that I needa wait till im 18...I can do that. but now wat about the go back mexico part???
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 okokok i understand a lot better now... aite so i also told her about going back to mexico though. her parents arn't about to go bak. shes stuck. she cnt go bak cuz her parents wnt let her. she wants to graduate from high school nd get a education. nd go off to college...so ur telling me that I needa wait till im 18...I can do that. but now wat about the go back mexico part??? She can go ahead and graduate -- this should all happen when she is 18 anyway. They won't allow a youth to come back to get married (it doesn't matter how many parents sign). But when she is 18 and an adult then she can go back to Mexico. THEN you apply for a K-1 visa for her to come here to marry you. You will need to substantiate the relationship so letters, etc. help. Then when she comes here on a K-1 visa you get married here and she stays here. BUT you have road blocks already. She will have to leave her parents and go back. THEY won't want her too --- which is sad because she can't get financial aid for college, etc. so they are sentencing her to a life of wages under the table, illegal, and fear of being caught which is getting harder and harder to avoid. It seems she won't disobey their wishes. But you'd know better than I. AND she will have to stay with someone when she goes back -- she has to live somewhere and probably won't have money to support herself. PLUS you have at least 3 years of waiting before any of this can even start. And you'll be long distance for a time after she goes to Mexico while you wait for the visa too. So you have many years of distance to look forward to. Either that or you need to work your butt off at a couple of part time jobs (and keep your grades up too) and save EVERY PENNY for an attorney so things can be done quicker.
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 BTW she better plan on paying cash for college because she CAN NOT get any kind of financial aid being illegal. -- and they are going to want a social security number too so she will be screwing her future quite bit of she doesn't look at solving her situation pretty quickly
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 WOW k...holy s***... well. i understand alot better now. So...when she goes back to mexico...will they let her go bak across the border? she was born on a beach...she has no papers...like nothing at all...not even a birth certificate...so technically shes not even a citizen of mexico is she? and she can graduate from high school then...i want that at least. how long does the k-1 application usually take...cuz i read somewhere it shuldn't take more than 6 months riyte?
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 WOW k...holy s***... well. i understand alot better now. So...when she goes back to mexico...will they let her go bak across the border? she was born on a beach...she has no papers...like nothing at all...not even a birth certificate...so technically shes not even a citizen of mexico is she? and she can graduate from high school then...i want that at least. how long does the k-1 application usually take...cuz i read somewhere it shuldn't take more than 6 months riyte? She has some major complications. Immigration will require a copy of her birth certificate. She will have to figure out how to deal with that. And YES that is major. M-A-J-O-R. She can go ahead and graduate -- yes. So that will be on record for future reference (college, employers, etc.) But her application will take a crap load more than that if she doesn't start working on the birth certificate stuff right away. Her parents sure shafted her didn't they?? She is going to need some really good legal assistance. She needs to find out if there is an immigration advocate's office there - or an immigration attorney that works pro bono. She should also contact an attorney in Mexico to assist with the birth certificate -- to see if there is anything she can do. She has quite a bit of work and hassle ahead of her.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 i am seriously about to cry riyte now... well at this second im looking up lawyers in this area to go talk to with my mom. i kinda figured the whole no birth certificate thing would pose a major threat to this whole thing...this is some really scary s*** though... and its so hard becuz shes so limited on the things she can do... her parents pretty much F***** her whole life up...
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 i am seriously about to cry riyte now... well at this second im looking up lawyers in this area to go talk to with my mom. i kinda figured the whole no birth certificate thing would pose a major threat to this whole thing...this is some really scary s*** though... and its so hard becuz shes so limited on the things she can do... her parents pretty much F***** her whole life up... Yes, they have. She has no documentation for anything. You need a birth certificate for MANY things. And then on top of that being illegal. I am sorry to be the bearer of such bad news but it is better to have your eyes wide open and be proactive. When you speak to an attorney -- give them FULL disclosure. FULL disclosure about no birth certificate - she is here illegally, etc. I can not stress this enough.
Ariadne Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 she was born on a beach...she has no papers...like nothing at all...not even a birth certificate...so technically shes not even a citizen of mexico is she? Hey, find out if they are even giving fiance visas in Mexico. Maybe they have a limited number of visas for that and they must be behind. See if they even give those for Mexico and the time for waiting. I think if you marry her here she'll be ok eventually. Poor your mother, with an Autistic child and a 15 year old wanting to get married.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 TO ISLANDGURL i hate to say it but i think ur riyte. luv iz a b****....im gunna have to have a long talk with her about all this. iz there any other information you can give me to help out? TO ARIADNE dont take it like i WANT to get married...its more so she can live here in the US legally because thats wat she wants to do but cnt
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Hey, find out if they are even giving fiance visas in Mexico. Maybe they have a limited number of visas for that and they must be behind. See if they even give those for Mexico and the time for waiting. I think if you marry her here she'll be ok eventually. Poor your mother, with an Autistic child and a 15 year old wanting to get married. There is no quota for fiance visas. Visa approval schedules are posted for each country and each OIC office that is doing the interviews, etc. They have the same visas available for all countries - it is just a matter of doing it correctly the first time. And then there is the waiting period that everyone goes through (the waiting period depends upon which visa you are filing for). More information can be found at uscis.gov. Do some research for yourself as to what a K-1 visa is and how/where to file etc. Mexico is one of the most proactive because there are so many they deal with. The embassies there have faster time lines and are more reliable than most. If you do get married here while she is illegal it will not just "eventually be okay". People are deported all the time married to US citizen but here illegally. As I said - check the Immigration Forums here on the internet. There are several. Working to do this the right way will save you a lot of misery later. Even if it seems like an uphill battle to begin with it is still the best way to do it. I'm glad your mom is supportive of the relationship but you are 15. This is a lot to take on at your age.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 hell yea it iz lolz...blahh i got tears all over da keyboardd... u've really helped me alot u seem to b an expert on this kind of stuff. do you have an email/facebook/myspace or any other other way of contacting you in case i have any more questions? that is of course if i may.
Ariadne Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 TO ARIADNE dont take it like i WANT to get married...its more so she can live here in the US legally because thats wat she wants to do but cnt I know, I know... Well, it is really awful for you her whole situation and you seem to be in panic mode since you want her to graduate from HS. I admire you for caring and your good heart... But just keep in mind that she has lived with that situation all of her life so for her is more or less normal. There are millions of people in that situation unfortunately and you will need tons of patience for things to get resolved. The immigration paperwork takes several years. I think it'd be best for you to just keep on seeing her, eventually meet her parents and not have to see her at the bakery, and show them you are a good guy and see what happens. I'm sure her parents are going to like you once they see you want the best for her. And all the rest of the things will eventually get resolved. With faith. Don't get so desperate, she is there and she loves you and wants to see you. And she also has her parents to protect her. Good luck with it all.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 aw :') well its not that simple with her parents. not at all. my moms even met her mom already. they're not too fond of me. she actually just found out about all of this immigration laws and stuff..she waz a bit naive about it all and when i told her she cnt even goto college she waz completely crushed. just last niyte she flipped out and doubted her own existence...she doeznt know the meaning of her own life because she can't do anything...and that just makes me feel like the s****est BF of all time. i really do luv her nd we have something so unique compared to other people. i just want it to work out between us. i promised her i wuld make it all work. im not about to back out of that promise.
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 hell yea it iz lolz...blahh i got tears all over da keyboardd... u've really helped me alot u seem to b an expert on this kind of stuff. do you have an email/facebook/myspace or any other other way of contacting you in case i have any more questions? that is of course if i may. I have been working on my husbands immigration paperwork for 3 years now. There were delays because of the information the embassy gave us, and having to file through California while he remains out of the country. Those things just cause delays of months and months. We are in the homestretch thankfully. But along the way you would not believe the stories I have heard from others. Once you are involved with immigration it seems it is everywhere. There is no way here to give out private information (security risk) - until you have PM privileges. That happens after a certain number of posts or time. Feel free to post here to your thread. And I'll get the updates. You may find the board helpful in general too. Knowledge is power. So meeting up with an attorney should help. I wish you and your girlfriend the best.
Author joncolon4 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Thnk you so much Island Gurl for everything :') pleez keep in touch...and as soon as i get the PM privelage u'll b the first i PM. ill keep posting on this thread. I wish only the bestestestestest for you and your husband. keep me posted nd let me know how it all turns out
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Thnk you so much Island Gurl for everything :') pleez keep in touch...and as soon as i get the PM privelage u'll b the first i PM. ill keep posting on this thread. I wish only the bestestestestest for you and your husband. keep me posted nd let me know how it all turns out I will and thank you. Please do keep me updated with what you find out. I'd love to know how the Birth Certificate issue gets solved. There has to be a way.
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