eternalsunshine Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 hi... i am 24. and still i don feel ready for sex. the thing is prob i don think i am ready 2 hav it wid him. but i attached to him deeply for the last 4 months and we have been physical together. also, it is a long distant relationship. now he says he feels like a f0ool for not havin sex wid me yet, and i am still a virgin, so is he. but i really want 2 lose it to someone special. is sex a big deal or am i just bein paranoid?
TaraMaiden Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Right. you need to break up. If he is not your "someone special" then there is no point in him continuing this relationship with him resting in the hope and desire of having sex with you because he mistakenly believes he IS your someone special. I'm sorry, but to stay with him simply because you like having the company is unfair at best, and outrageous at worst. On the one hand sex is a big deal. And sex with the right person is a big deal. So no, you are not paranoid. But you are being very unjust in not being honest with him. if he's not special to you, then you need to do the fairest thing, and finish it, now.
Lovelybird Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 If you feel not ready, then don't do it for the sake of being in a relationship. For only 4 months there are many reasons you are attached to him, could be chemical element, could be that you feel lonely and now he can make you don't feel lonely. But only 4 months you cannot be sure if it is love. From what he said, he is hardly mature for being responsible to you and relationship. So don't risk your purity to that. I did little sex once before, and I regret it big deal, at the time it felt like right thing to do, but later I felt like did a foolish foolish thing, I wish I can keep total purity for my future hb and he deserves that. There is a great book Why True Love Waits by Josh D. McDowell. maybe both of you can read that book together and discuss, this is a good chance to know your bf and grow your relationship. Don't do anything you will regret. in this book there are some amazing facts will awaken your bf and you. Don't risk your beautiful future for the short term satisfaction Also a book I Loved A Girl, by Walter Trobisch, it beautifully talks about how a man loves a woman, when he loves, what things he would do, for many women or men who didn't grow up knowing what is true love, this is a Great book
Author eternalsunshine Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 the thing is, i want the relationship to grow emotionally. he doesn care bout all that. he says the most important thing is that. i love being with him, love getting physical otherwise. but i think it takes time to make someone really special in ur life. i hav had previous boy friends before, and they had lasted for atleast 2 years each. and i did the mistake of completely believing in them. i thot each time and they are someone most special. now i am made to regret by my boy friend of my past. like i did some crime. are guys really obsessed wid sex?
Author eternalsunshine Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 and also, all his frnds hav had sex, so he thinks its a very cool casual thing 2 do. whereas, my frnds r very conservative. they have longtime bfs who they love totally, n they wud get married neway. but yet they hav restrained from it. i am not against pre marital sex. but i hav a horrible feeling bt this
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 and also, all his frnds hav had sex, so he thinks its a very cool casual thing 2 do. whereas, my frnds r very conservative. they have longtime bfs who they love totally, n they wud get married neway. but yet they hav restrained from it. i am not against pre marital sex. but i hav a horrible feeling bt this I'm a guy... and I will tell you that I would not pressure any woman I truely had feelings for. Although I would pressure a girl I just wanted sex from. Chances are... you have a bad feeling because he doesn't care about you that much. He just wants to tapp dat. I'm telling you the truth from a guy perspective.
Author eternalsunshine Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 yeah... i guess...but he is rather fickle... and that makes me even mor confused bt the whole thing... sometimes he confides... he opens up... we feel so damn close... and there are times he is sexually demandin.. other than sex everythin else was fine.. i hav strong feelings for this guy... i will make sure i am not bein used... thanks a lot 2 everybody for writin down ur advices... all of them hav been very helpful...
Enema Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Sex is an important part of every serious relationship. I wouldn't be with someone for 4 days, let alone 4 months if I knew they weren't interested in having a real adult relationship. He deserves to know what he's (not) in for so he can leave. Don't hide your hangups from him because you're selfishly afraid he'll leave you.
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