phoenix1 Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 So as if losing someone, and then having them hook up right away isn't enough, there is yet another twist to my story. My ex and I had been planning to go to a week long event since last year. When we broke up about 4-5 weeks ago, he still wanted to go with me, but I said no. Then after about 2-3 weeks he started begging me to go. I really wanted to go to the event, and, well, he's very persuasive. We had a long talk about what it meant, didn't mean, etc. We had no intentions, well at least I didn't, of getting back together. I started making plans and then he tells me a few days later, that "oh this girl will be there that I have been kind of flirting with, talking on the phone". He said they weren't really dating, and hadn't had sex, they had just met - but met before he asked me to go. I said ,OK, cool, thanks for telling me. I had a few feelings and moved on. Well, apparently she wasn't too pleased that he was going with his ex, and got all bent out of shape. I can understand that, but remember, they are not even involved yet. So long story, short - he tells me "it's too much drama" and that I can't go now!! Now they are both going. They will be camping next to each other, not together as far as I know, but, well you know. Now I have lost my ex, I'm not going on the vacation we had been planning for a year, he is, and having my vacation WITH HER!! I know it's probably a blessing in disguise, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like f***. I am sick thinking of him and my replacement on what was supposed to be my vacation. They would have left today (NC now for 6 days). I can't stop obsessing and just feeling sick. I can't believe he put her feelings over mine, me who is supposedly so important to him, he cares about me so much, blah, blah. I think they will either go and come back in love and bonded, or totally not working out and it will end. They really haven't spent much time together, and just met, and now they are going to be at a week long festival in the heat, in tents. Could be challenging - I HOPE IT IS!! I know I need to let go and not think about it, but what do I do with these feelings? I feel so hurt, replaced, abandoned, and betrayed. Help!!! This week will be hard, each day. I need support.
silic0ntoad Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 That dude is full of ****. Any "single" guy wants to keep all options open. Obviously there is more to this than first told. You need to cut this dude off.
PinkToes Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I agree, he's a total loser jerk. But I know that doesn't help how you're feeling at the moment. It sucks! So as for getting through the week, you're gonna have to do it one day at a time, you already know it's going to hurt, so it's just a matter of survival at this point. I'd suggest planning something special for yourself each day, whether it's dinner with a friend or a movie or shopping or a massage or a day hike into the woods. Just something every single day, even if you know it won't be that much fun. It will be a reminder to yourself that you can take care of yourself as well (better, actually) than he would, and when you look back, you'll have something to show for your vacation week too. I spent much of last winter having dinner alone by the fire, and I know it was a really difficult time because I was still pretty heartbroken, but looking back, what I remember most is that I kept going, kept looking after myself. And believe it or not, I have moderately fond memories of those evenings. Good luck to you; we'll be here.
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