angieg101 Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 My ex and I broke up about 8 months ago but we still have a friendly relationship and hang out (movies, dinner etc.) once a month or so. We both still like each other but neither one of us has really been willing to make that next step. Recently I was accepted into a graduate program thats about 3 hours away. My ex is excited for me and wanted to celebrate. He invited me out last week--anything I wanted to do. 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet up, he calls me and says that he was on his way to pick up his car from the car shop because he brought it there on Tuesday for them to repair the AC and after picking it up on Wednesday he realized it wasn't working properly. Long story short, he calls me about an hour and a half later to ask for a rain-check because it was getting late and he was in a bad mood after dealing with the autoshop. I said that was fine (esp. since I was on my way to meet up with my girls). He said he would called me on Friday and that maybe we could make up this weekend. I get a text message late Friday night asking if I wanted to hang out later that night (sounds like a booty call to me, which he is more than clear that I don't do). I told him that I couldn't cause I was tired. He didn't respond. The next evening I was out with friends and thought it would be nice to invite him out to meet us so I sent him a text asking what he was doing for the evening--no response. I am so confused. I wasn't the one who asked to be taken out on a date--he asked me! Furthermore, during one of our phone calls he basically told me that he wasn't and hasn't really been with anyone else since we broke up and that he wished me had met me now--a claimer time in my life (when we first met I was studying for the MCATs and applying to medical school so I wasn't really present in our relationship which is why it ended). I leave in 2 weeks and I would like for us to be on good terms. I really care about him and would like to at least remain friends. I just don't understand why he is acting like this. Should I be offended about the date and this weekend? Should I call him on it or wait for him to do something? Should I just let him go? Am I missing something? ADVICE please!!!!!!!!
westrock Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I get a text message late Friday night asking if I wanted to hang out later that night (sounds like a booty call to me, which he is more than clear that I don't do). I told him that I couldn't cause I was tired. He didn't respond. The next evening I was out with friends and thought it would be nice to invite him out to meet us so I sent him a text asking what he was doing for the evening--no response. Seems like a lot of last minute communications going on and all by text? I leave in 2 weeks Still plenty of time to get together.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 May I ask you why you would want to be friends with your ex? They learned to cross the boundaries when they dated you that as friends, it's not far from the truth if they don't respect you even when you're not in a relationship. I have to say it's not beneficial for either of you to maintain a friendship or a relationship of any kind because as you've mentioned, the both of you still have something for each other. This is the point in your life where you have to accept that there are certain things in your life that you have to let go in order to move on.
Author angieg101 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Thanks for your advice! westrock- you are absolutely correct. we have some serious communication issues. As I mentioned, when we met I had very limited time so I relied a lot on text messages to communication with him. Texting became a main mode of communication--not something my ex likes but he did adapt to it. 2 weeks I guess is a lot of time and I will be in and out of town a lot, esp. during these next few months (something he is aware of). Thanks for your insight. papercut- I completely agree with your comment. I don't normally make it a practice to stay friends with my exes. This ex in particular, we didn't date for long so and we both still have a lot of unanswered questions and open feelings. I've heard thru the grapevine that he was really hurt by the break up and is afraid to put himself out there again, so I don't know where that leaves us. Thank you for your advice.
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