kimberleah Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Im 21 and hes 22. He is in a frat and use to be a football player and I use to be a band nerd. We’re seniors in college. He likes to tell the story of how when I first met him I was convinced he was just another arrogant jock. He is making me nervous with his ex and I dont like it...I dont know what to do anymore Hes my 2nd serious boyfriend…my first one never had “ex issues” I know that his ex and him dated in highschool and then for another 5 months a year and a half ago…she broke up with him. The distance is what killed them. I also know that she deleted him on Facebook after they broke up and he tried to re-add her several times and she kept rejecting it Signs my boyfriend is over his ex yet -A month before we started dating, my bf's BFF imed him pretending to be his ex. I know this sounds strange but this happened because my boyfriend IMed his BFF pretending to be a gay man interested in him...so his BFF basically did this for revenge. His BFF is extremely immature and Im quite aware of that. My boyfriend told his BFF on AOL (thinking it was his ex) "I dont think Ive ever moved on from you" His ex later found out about this joke, and IMed my bf’s BFF saying “who are you? why are you pretending to be me” My bf's BFF explained everything and eventually told her what my boyfriend said. His ex responded "Me and him talked about this...I thought he moved on but I have a boyfriend anyway" How do I know about this weird situation? His best guy friend likes me a lot as a friend and we talk. One time when I was kinda drunk I confessed to him I thought my boyfriend wasn’t over her and he told me everything…no hes not lying. He told me not to worry about it but coming from him that’s not something to listen to. However, he did tell me not to tell my boyfriend that I knew about this, so I cant bring it up with him now. -After this joke, my boyfriend and his ex started talking again and they talked alot on Facebook. I had to look at his history on it and its obvious he wasnt just being polite. She initiated the whole thing but they exchanged phone numbers. This stopped shortly after we started dating but she got a bf at the time too. -His ex got dumped a few months later and emailed my boyfriend saying "Lets hang out...but we should get married when we're 26, we can work out our long distance fighting issues!" He did hang out with her, but said it was because he is compassionate and she was falling apart and that he told her about me. -She emailed him later the next month on Facebook…I saw once when I was sitting next to him as he was looking at his Facebook that it was a month after he saw her. (I wasn’t snooping, I glanced over long enough only to see a date) He said “she was single and being like "whatchu doin" and I told her I have a girlfriend” -He told me he doesnt talk to her, but she posted on his Facebook wall a few weeks ago saying "Hey sorry I never replied to you on Twitter I dont know how to use it yet" My boyfriend's responses to my thoughts -To the email-"it was her being crazy and upset" -To the flirting on Facebook - "I dont remember every little thing I said or did" -To the Twitter thing- "that was so long ago I cant remember" it was 2 months ago... then he said "I dont remember every little thing I said or did" when I informed him of this -When I said it bothered me whenever she was single she would be like "lets get back together" he replied "shes never asked me to get back together" We argued about this once. He told me he wants to be with me and he doesn’t like her...and not to waste energy on her. Then he told me to drop it basically. The next day he wrote back on her Facebook wall replying to her lack of Twitter reply, but it was innocent. He says he’s not going to ignore her and he’s being polite. Im sorry…but I got dumped too once and I still had feelings for my ex afterwards for awhile. I kept talking to him and told others “oh no Im over it” when they commented on it…it was only when I was really over him that I felt no desire to talk to him. My boyfriend acts like he likes me alot, and treats me very well in person. My friends have noticed this and told me. In fact I tend to forget about the ex thing when Im with him alot. His ex is prettier than me I think and I wouldnt care about this but my bf is quite vain Ill admit which sounds bad but he knows it, he told me in the beginning that he is vain...and I cant help but notice he doesnt seem to judge some of his nonloyal friends' ways with women as badly as I do. For instance, one of his friends studied abroad with me, and his friend had a serious girlfriend at the time. But he told the other guys from our study abroad group to not tell the other girls he had a girlfriend...and when I told my bf this he tried to excuse this and went "this is how boys are..." but he acts like he likes me so much!! Ugh what do I do? I cant shake this feeling that he still does like her and hes with me because he cant be with her. I feel like Im going nuts too. I have days where I want to hack into his Facebook and see if he really told her "No I have a girlfriend now" I guess if he wasnt a vain frat boy with friends who cheat alot I wouldnt question him...but I think I may love him so I dont want to break up with him.
Recommended Posts