Devil Dog Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 My problem isn't that he's spending too much time with his girlfriend, it's that she's brought out this weak, needy, desperate wimp that I never thought he was. He's going to be 21 in a month and he works at a cell phone kiosk, and she's about the same age he is, who is currently attending college about 45 minutes away. I first started noticing problems when we never went out and did anything, ever. It's been months since he's been out with the rest of the guys, and when I ask him, he's always busy with work, or with her. We'll still hang a few times a week, but only at his house, doing the same old ****, which isn't bad, but you know as well as I do that we need to get out on occasion. Second red flag, she isn't as vocal as he is about professing her love for him, which was always how it was, but has diminished to almost nothing recently. Third red flag, I first hand witnessed a fight between the two of them, in which she royally blew up at him, for him trying to return his defective laptop back to the store at 11pm (claiming it was a waste of gas, childish, and self-centered). The whole time I'm telling him to just ignore her for the rest of the night, because she's just blowing up senselessly at him, and she just gets angrier as the night goes on. He refuses to listen to me and keeps trying to talk to her, apologizing, telling her that she's right, all that crap. The real kicker is that when I come back the next night, he's cuddled on the couch in the fetal position, and I bring over a movie that I think he should watch, when I suggested we watch it, he says he's going to bed soon. I ask him "Why WTF?", and he replies "Because I want to". It was 8:30 pm. Apparently that tiff he got into the previous night hadn't been resolved. Good lord. Fourth red flag, is that he seems petrified of telling her things, like him applying for a better job (one that's full-time, and pays more than twice what his does, with benefits), and to top it off, she actually mad at him for it! I mean what the hell, he's only trying to make his life better. I don't know if I can even say anything to him about this, whether he'll even listen, or what to say.
westernxer Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I guess your friend will have to learn the hard way.
Author Devil Dog Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 I guess your friend will have to learn the hard way. After reading that, it looks like their relationship is on the rocks, but that's not really what I'm concerned about (they have all kinds of future plans, and he wants me to be his best man), my main concern is that he's being such a wimp about everything, and he can't stand up for himself to her. He has to run every purchase he makes by her, as if she's qualified to say what he can and cannot enjoy.
girl-next-door Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 Sometimes, you have to stand back and let people make their own mistakes, if it turns out to be one. The best thing you can do is to be supportive and respectful of the relationship. This will ultimately make you look like the bigger person. Don't say, "I told you so." if things do turn out the way you suspect.
Recommended Posts