littlewhiterose Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 How do you stop yourself from chucking it all away? Throwing your arms up, giving up and chopping down a tree to build a shack, deep in the woods with your 40-some odd cats? Seriously, I'm feeling & have felt pretty invisible for a long time... How do you STOP from feeling invisible?
Blackfrost Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 How do you stop yourself from chucking it all away? Throwing your arms up, giving up and chopping down a tree to build a shack, deep in the woods with your 40-some odd cats? Seriously, I'm feeling & have felt pretty invisible for a long time... How do you STOP from feeling invisible? I think that this is something that everyone deals with off/on throughout their lives. It's not really uncommon. One way to work through this, is to use it as a motivator to work towards something challenging that will make you feel like you exist. I know that I personally have used it as a motivator at times to drive myself to make some kind of mark on the world - be it through other people lives (marriage, friendship, charity) as well as working to have my name appear on things that are popular in todays culture (movies, video games, writing a published book, televisions shows). And if this is not what you mean, and you are referring to be noticed by the opposite sex - then you need to evaluate yourself, and understand why no one might be noticing (negative energy, look too busy or unapproachable, or never emotionally opening up to people so they can get to know who you are.) Being noticed, requires you to make yourself known. No one can do this for you:)
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Thanks for replying Blackfrost. You've definitely have given me some food for thought. I appreciate it.
westrock Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 How do you stop yourself from chucking it all away? Throwing your arms up, giving up and chopping down a tree to build a shack, deep in the woods with your 40-some odd cats? Seriously, I'm feeling & have felt pretty invisible for a long time... Some people choose to live that lifestyle and there is nothing wrong with it. It's not for me and I'd say many would probably get bored and lonely eventually. We're social beings. How do you STOP from feeling invisible? Are you saying that you don't feel you are making a difference in this world?
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 I was referring to feeling invisible to the opposite sex/dating. I was just kidding about the woods/cat shack, although I'm not so sure it'd make a difference! I have focused hard on doing more things/leaving my mark and personal growth, so much so that I'm finding I've neglected some of the more social things. And well, now here I am, feeling invisible. Which I suppose is partially my fault for not being able to juggle everything. I want to fix this but have NO clue where or how to start. I don't ever remeber it being this hard...
westrock Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I was referring to feeling invisible to the opposite sex/dating. I was just kidding about the woods/cat shack, although I'm not so sure it'd make a difference! Ok no problem. I have focused hard on doing more things/leaving my mark and personal growth, so much so that I'm finding I've neglected some of the more social things. And well, now here I am, feeling invisible. Which I suppose is partially my fault for not being able to juggle everything. I want to fix this but have NO clue where or how to start. I don't ever remeber it being this hard... What are you doing now to get out there? Best way to deal with this is to join some clubs, do some volunteer work, essentially get out there and participate in activities where people will see you in a social context.
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Yeah, I'm trying. With the recession, it just seems like things have slowed down a lot or maybe even shifted. Which I don't necessarily agree with because not everything requires spending money (i.e. the park, a running buddy etc). I don't know. They say that during times of crisis, we tend to go back to things that are familiar to us (friends, comfort foods etc.) I wonder, does that include meeting new people? Cuz I'm certainly sensing an unusual vibe. What is familiar to me (my old friends), have been cut off. They were sucking me dry emotionally. So they had to go. There's no going back to that. I guess I just need to be patient. I can only imagine what kind of energy I'm giving off. Anxious? Blah? Distracted? Bored? ...
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Throwing your arms up, giving up and chopping down a tree to build a shack, deep in the woods with your 40-some odd cats? Where do I sign up for this?
Cora Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I wanna do this now. It's sounding pretty darn good right now and a whole lot easier than dating!
zhsoj Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Agreed... I've always felt and have been invisible to the opposite sex. Or people in general. It's for the best really. Every time I've let my guard down and come out to play I've been burned. People simply aren't to be trusted. If I had a drug or procedure that could eliminate the desire for human contact, I'd take the option in an instant. As an aside, dogs rule cats drool.
BlueHarvest Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Yeah, I'm trying. With the recession, it just seems like things have slowed down a lot or maybe even shifted. Which I don't necessarily agree with because not everything requires spending money (i.e. the park, a running buddy etc). I don't know. They say that during times of crisis, we tend to go back to things that are familiar to us (friends, comfort foods etc.) I wonder, does that include meeting new people? Cuz I'm certainly sensing an unusual vibe. What is familiar to me (my old friends), have been cut off. They were sucking me dry emotionally. So they had to go. There's no going back to that. I guess I just need to be patient. I can only imagine what kind of energy I'm giving off. Anxious? Blah? Distracted? Bored? ... Sounds like your in the same place I am. Currently I'm getting out more, socializing more, but at the same time the economy makes doing "exciting" things rather hard. Going on trips and doing extravagent things is fun but also very money consuming. Not to mention I'm at a place in my life where I feel like I'm nearly completly changed. I'm 25, and finally in a decent job where I can enjoy myself everyday. However leaving my last job I left behind the last vestiges of friends I knew and kept up correspondance with. Some of the friends were good, wish I could know them better but ultimately were not people I would want to come to my marriage, if you can understand that kind of sentiment. At the same time, one of my old high school buddies was the guy who I loved hanging out with in high school in college, but ultimately the type of person I didn't want to hang around with forever. It gets harder to make friends as you grow older. You start to cling desperately to the few you have but at the same time you start to see your friends differnently then you saw them in the past. Right now for me is a tough time becuase I'm down to a very small handful of friends and acquaintances. Back to being single again, and while I got a new (better) job....still tight on money. I won't say my life is bad, I can't complain compared to other counties and people who are destitute. But at the same time it's not fair to compare such a broad spectrum of lifestyles. You can only compare within a certain range of your lifestyle, and right now I feel like I'm at the bottom of my range. Kind of went off on my own rant there...but yes I understand exaclty how you feel.
espec10001 Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 It always takes a crisis or a natural disaster to bring people closer together. As much as I hate to say this the United States of America is headed towards a big disaster. I can sense it, and I'm sure many others can too. Economically it will be brutal, but it will bring everyone around you closer together because you'll realize you can't be and do everything alone.
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