FargnLost Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 hey guys i'm new to this forum. I read some other posts and all of you are great at giving advice/help so i ask of your advice..... I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together for almost 3 months ( 3 months this wednesday) and for most part everything has been good but I've got some problems with her.. and i dont know how to deal with this. I met her through work, we both work together and we often work same shifts so we see alot of each other. Upon us working together we started talking and stuff and she admitted to me she was a cheater and she has cheated on basically all of her ex's with the exception of one. Myself I have been cheated on by all of my ex's and i really dont want it again... Another thing is that if we get into an arguement and i yell, then she cries and says i treat her like ****.. but yet she has yelled at me 2 days in a row...... so yeah i dont get it, over arguements that are so minor... im not even gonna post it... anywho my point is that randomly i went through her phone bc i was suspicious about her getting these random texts while i was there and one of the texts that was sent out was to a guy she almost went out with right before her and i started dating.... and the message said... love you boo..... so that's one another one is from a guy friend who i have never met and it says i cant talk right now im out with my boyfriend and he likes to shoulder read..... you know what is SO important u have to wait till i am not around....? this only happened bc the other day she had her phone in front of me while we were sittin and i saw her nd her friend arguing so i asked her to see if everything was okay... you know i just dont get it.... i had to and stil have to accept the fact that alot of her guy friends are her ex boyfriends... and i have to put up with it.. but then she hides this stuff saying im a shoulder reader... and it hurts.. bc we are supposed to move in together within 2 months but yet she tells me to not worry bout anything........ but i feel like im being played like a piano... before her and i became official i was messing around with 3 other girls and i deaded them all... now i wish i still talked to them.. she says she doesnt care if i talk to any1 else but last week wen we were at the store i was texting a friend about setting a double date ( me my gf, my friend nd her bf) she gave me a hard time.. so i shood contact my ex i feel if i wanna be frineds.. but i dont wanna push her away... i really do love her and i know she loves me but i think im being played.. i think its unfair and i jus dont know why a girlfriend would call somebody else a "boo" and as far as waitin for me to leave to have a convo about something... i dunno i think shes being sneaky behind my back and im obvlivious... what do you all think
craig841 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Short answer: No. You shouldn't be going through her phone for starters, but you did and now that you've found these things out it looks a bit suspicious. Relationships need trust in them, and if she is not only openly admitting to keeping stuff from you, but actually making you seem like the ass in the process for naturally being curious, that seems like a MASSIVE red flag. It's almost like she doesn't want your trust...by telling you she is a cheater she has put thoughts into your mind about it happening again. If you haven't already, man up when you argue. When she cries she knows she has lost and is craving for your attention, making you the victim again. Walk away and let her cry. You know you are in the right, and she has goaded you to yell. Sorry man, but it sounds like you need to have words.
EsmerKiss7 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Good relationships require honesty and open communication, it seems like she isn't being honest with you... yea it's annoying when someone is being a shoulder reader and yea you shouldn't be looking through people's cell phone's, but at the same time she is your gf and shouldn't have anything to hide. I hate to sound so negative, but most likely your gonna keep trying to work it out and trust her and in the back of your mind you won't, blase blase, and break up a little down the line. Save yourself the heartache and tell her to grow up.
mark982 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 she's told you,she's cheated on everyone but 1! and you're still going after her? prepare your self for a world of hurt.
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