ab30 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I have no idea what's going on with my ex at the moment. It's been a couple of months since we split (not my choice) but at the moment I am so confused about that's going on. A relative of mine fell ill and he's been in contact with me. It's not serious, which he knows but he's still called me, text several times and asked to be updated (he doesn't know this relative and I have told him its a concern but nothing serious). In his texts he's started to end them with 'xx' - which is only something we did when we were together and hasn't been done once since the split. He called me sexy in another, which again is something not done since we were together. On the phone, he suggested seeing each other tomorrow (this was on friday) and this comes after last week him saying we needed more time to move on before we should meet. I don't know what to make of all this.
TaraMaiden Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Ever heard the terms: "Throwing you breadcrumbs"...? "Keeping you dangling"...? "Keeping you on the backburner"....? "Showing their 'caring' side"....? That's what he's doing. One or all of the above. But all he's doing really, is getting under your skin, and making you squirm, itch and generally tugging at your heartstrings... Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, huh? Play it one of 2 ways. Delete, erase, ignore, don't even give him the time of day - or Text him and TELL him to stop contacting you, because you will not be responding at all - and then delete, erase, ignore, don't even give him the time of day. Stick with it sistah.....
Author ab30 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Thanks for replying. I don't believe he's doing anything to keep me on my toes. He's not like that, he's very much a cut and run guy. Our relationship didn't end badly or on bad terms. He's also very careful about what he texts. Following on from the odd contact, he called yesterday and said about meeting up - but not for coffee, drink or even dinner, he asked if we could go to the gym together!!??? Now, I should also add that one major thing he always wanted us to do together was the gym. Any suggestions on that one?
mickleb Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 He misses you but is still, clearly, confused. He's trying to friendzone you. If you're completely over him and want that, that's fine but make sure you are. He could easily blow hot and cold again, and true friends don't do that. (I've never been a fan of ex's being friends - all a bit icky, if you ask me - but then, I might be cynical.) You have to be honest really with yourself about how you see him.
Author ab30 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 I think he is very much confused and I don't think him asking us to do something that related to an issue in the relationship is a helpful move on his part (given how confused he is, surely doing this would only make it harder) I personally, would never suggest such a thing, but too close to the mark but perhaps I would if I was 'testing' the water - as selfish as that is! It confuses the hell out of me! I'm not going to be friends with him and I've got my own head screwed on well enough to know I can see where this goes without risking my own sanity.
Author ab30 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 Thought I'd update. We went to the gym together, all was great. We had a quick drink after and off we went. Since then we've been texting. I still get the 'xx' at the end of some texts and fairly frequently get my pet name. I decided to 'test' him and didn't text for 2 days. The second night, he text around 10.30pm - again 'xx' and pet name. I went to bed quite happy that he failed and my test worked. I woke in the early hours to find a missed call from him at 2am. First time since we split he'd called at those hours. I was worried so text to see if he was ok. Stupidly, forgot to take the phone off silent, so woke again at 7.30am to find 2 texts. first one said 'yuk...hungover, drunk too much. You did well not to take the call' and then 'get up...i'm bored...play with me'. all with 'x' at the end. This was friday morning. So what to now make of this. I've always said in my head that the best way of knowing how he's feeling about me still is if he starts to call me drunk in the early hours. Its annoying I missed the call though as i'm curious as to what he'd have said. What are your thoughts (again, just curiousity about what he's doing and not if I should/shouldn't get back with should it ever come up) Thanks all x
mickleb Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 What do you want, need, from this relationship? He seems to want to have it all. He wants the companionship, the support, the idea of someone being there for him. Doubt he'd say no a bit of how's your father, either, as long as he could feck off afterwards. Not much, is it? If you don't mind the idea, though, take it. If you think you can get treated better by someone (I'm SURE you can), don't. x
TaraMaiden Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I'm sorry, you're still playing ping-pong with this guy and wondering why he keeps batting back? The best way to not play his game is to put the bat down and walk away from the table. Until you do, he'll keep on reeling you in and messing with your head. And there's no need for it to be messed with.....
GrayClouds Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I'm sorry, you're still playing ping-pong with this guy and wondering why he keeps batting back? The best way to not play his game is to put the bat down and walk away from the table.. She is right even though she is mixing metaphors (bat=baseball, paddle-ping pong)
TaraMaiden Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Oh, yeah.. Sorry. Running never was my strong point. I prefer swimming myself.....
Author ab30 Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 I've decided to stop responding but I do find it interesting what and how he was texting. Knowing him as I do, that drunk phone call and 'play with me' text was far too revealing of how he feels but annoyingly I went a bit too far and he's now back off again. What's changed my mind about this all is the email he sent - basically saying to move on but then telling me he'll think over things more and we'll speak when he gets back from a trip. What the hell! So what - he wants me to move on but he might decide in a week that he wants another chance, so don't really move on! Come on, I'm worth more then that. He's far too screwed up in the head when it comes to his emotions and that's not something I should be chasing to get involved with again. It's a shame because he's a lovely guy but it looks like he's always going to repeating history. I bet that the next time he's drunk he'll call and I'm not playing this time.
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