GrayClouds Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I have a large notebook in which I am using to process my grief. It includes, the exercises I've done in the self-help books, so I don't forget them, the exercises I've done in therapy, and other things. I have each new section tabbed. Sections include: What I like About Myself, What I brought to the Relationship and what he brought, what I want in a mate, things to do when I feel like breaking NC, etc.. Can I suggest another Section? Things that I hate about him.. List all the flaws, annoying habits, bad shirts, passing gas, being sloppy, and anything else about hiim that pisses you off. It is a nice way to remind you the X was not perfect.
Author moo Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I actually have that in the book- the negative things he did in the relationship. I came up with about 80 of them.
Author moo Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Another truth- I should have never dated him after the first time he stood me up, dumped me over the phone and went back to his ex girlfriend. His explanation for standing me up- he did not want to be disturbed while he talked to her. His explanation for not dumping me in person- he did not want to dump me in person. He was honest and very, very nice about it. He was soooooo nice and apologetic about it. He let me hang up on him, let me vent to him in emails, and was gentle with me. I let that blind me. I tried to be understanding. I didn't even look at just the fact that he did that to me meant I should not have been with him, even if he did apologize for that. The second time he dumped me, he admitted that the first time he dumped me, he was nice and apologetic because he saw me as a potential mate at a later time. So when someone treats you egregiously bad and their explanation is one of complete selfishness- do not get involved, no matter how apologetic they are.
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