pandagirl Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 It wasn't always that I was attracted to handsome men. I used to date quirky guys, who dressed weird and were arty. I still like creative guys, but now they're 6 feet tall and incredibly handsome with nice, athletic bodies. And they're intelligent, funny and interesting, too. And guess what? I can never "hang on" to any of these men. It seems like they're such in demand, that they don't ever want to be in a relationship, since they can have their pick of the liter. Women just fall all over them. My friends always say to me: "You always date hot guys." Fine, I do. But can you blame me? If I can, I will! Of course, personality is more important than looks (and I really mean that), but I've gotten so used to dating very attractive men, that my eyes don't stick to... more average looking guys. And before anyone calls me shallow, Rivers Cuomo (the singer from Weezer) was my teen dream for years. i LOVED him. But I've somehow gone from that to Johnny Depp lookalikes. So, to wrap it up, are men who are very attractive less quality? And by that i mean lesser quality for a potential relationship. This is a gross generalization, but let's just open it up for discussion anyways!
westernxer Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I still like creative guys, but now they're 6 feet tall and incredibly handsome with nice, athletic bodies. Creative guys are not athletic. LOL
zhsoj Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I need to stop dating supermodels cause they don't have a thought in that pretty little head of theirs... *yawn*
caramel c Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Isn't there anything more to life than being really, really riduculously good looking?
zhsoj Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Isn't there anything more to life than being really, really riduculously good looking? Haha, perfect. Made my night.
caramel c Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Haha, perfect. Made my night. What is this? A center for ANTS? How can children be expected to learn how to read good when they can't even fit inside the building? lmao
carhill Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 So, to wrap it up, are men who are very attractive less quality?I don't believe so, because I've known many attractive (maybe the word I should use is 'handsome') men who are decent, caring and loving individuals. A few are personal friends. All are married with varying degrees of success (no marriage is perfect). The key, IMO, is how they were socialized and the peer group they identify with. Invariably, emphasis was placed upon achievement, the work process and social connection, using their bodies and their brains rather than their appearance. Thus, they came to identify themselves for who they are rather than how their outward appearance affects their world. I've seen the same in women. Super beautiful, but so down to earth and genuine that one could not help but respect them and appreciate their talents. It is like their beauty is superfluous. All that said, if you want to try out Mr. Average, I travel
BeautifulMan Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I need to stop dating supermodels cause they don't have a thought in that pretty little head of theirs... *yawn* Yep, I'm tired of dating hot women. Maybe I should settle for the other peasants.
Author pandagirl Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 Creative guys are not athletic. LOL Haha. Not true! I've dated a soccer playing painter, a musician who surfs, and a film director who runs marathons. Thus, they came to identify themselves for who they are rather than how their outward appearance affects their world. I've seen the same in women. Super beautiful, but so down to earth and genuine that one could not help but respect them and appreciate their talents. It is like their beauty is superfluous. All that said, if you want to try out Mr. Average, I travel I agree. It depends on how your are socialized. I guess the real issue is I should stop dating narcissistic artists.
Hkizzle Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Fine, I do. But can you blame me? If I can, I will! I've read so many threads on this forum, and I find it strange so many people still don't get....... What you can attract, and what you can keep are two different things. So I agree with you change in strategy Pandagirl. I also agree with Carhill that a man being more handsome doesn't mean he's definitely going to be a jerk. However, it does give the guy the opportunity and temptation of being a player, and therefore the chances of being a player is higher than a guy that's butt ugly. Something in between is probably best.
loveslife Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Ya know, I was just thinking I need to stop dating extemely rich men. All those expensive dinners and gifts must be masking something, eh. But seriously, some of the sweetest most genuine guys I've known have been classically, societally-branded "gorgeous." Here's the trick - stop treating them like being "gorgeous" makes them special. I've never been sexually attracted to guys who are classic hunks, so I don't drool over them. I think they find that a relief and are pretty comfortable with me. It's like the movie star who goes to someplace obscure and nobody recognizes him. They can tell if you're congratulating yourself for "landing a hottie" and probably feel it's nothing special because it happens all the time. I've had a few really great "hottie" guy friends who, I think, really appreciate the heart-to-hearts and intellectual curiosity.
Adunaphel Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 So, to wrap it up, are men who are very attractive less quality? No...but very attractive guys are fewer than average guys, so you have a much more limited pool to search for great guys. Also, if you are a jealous person dating a gorgeous guy can make your life a living hell
CaliGuy Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 So, to wrap it up, are men who are very attractive less quality? And by that i mean lesser quality for a potential relationship. This is a gross generalization, but let's just open it up for discussion anyways! Attractive, fun, confident and successful men will always be in high demand in much the same way women with those same qualities are. They don't have to work hard to find someone. They normally always have a date option. They don't have to tolerate certain behavioral quirks other people will/do. If you're an extremely attractive woman then you can relate to some degree. That said, if you are going to try to date attractive men then you must exude the type of confidence they do. That means no "chasing" (coz you don't have to). You have differentiate yourself from the average. That said, if you swim with sharks, expect to get bitten on occasion. By that I simply mean if you limit yourself to that type of man then you will notice that you aren't finding much success. And as you pointed out, they are less available, less committed because they are in high demand. If that is what you want, I say go for it. Just don't make them a prize. Make yourself one too.
BobSacamento Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Creative guys are not athletic. LOL omg I actually LOL'd
fishtaco Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Can't have the cake and eat it too. That goes with the territory. If a man is highly sought after, he'll act like a man that's highly sought after.
Brady_to_Moss Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I am tall..funny...not bad looking..and girls dont fall over me...wish they did...i am NOT in demand
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 My gf's and I often joke that you should date men that aren't as hot as you are because they are apt to appreciate you more. If you're a 9, date a solid 7.5, if you're an 8, date a 6... It's sort of in jest- but a part of me sees merit in it. Any super hot guy I've dated has caused me too many headaches. From hogging the mirror, to being approached by other woman in front of me.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 So by default, we average-looking (or worse) guys are being settled for . . . I often have wondered how I have managed to reproduce . . . So is love really just about not being able to attract anyone better looking (if you're a guy) or not being able to keep anyone better looking (if you're a woman)? I was hoping my cynicism wasn't really that accurate . . .
Myst Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Its annoying that in my personal experience that Ive seen better looking girls settle for average looking guys. But like what can you do tho? I dont want to get hurt and yes i am in the boat at the moment where I am seeing (not dating) a guy who is less than hot than me and he has also said it too, quite simply because I know hes not likely to be approached by another girl while we are having coffee. (Ive never had that before btw, lol, i wonder what id do hahah). Tho personally i have a friend who has been together with her hotter-than-her boyfriend for years now (they look like they might be getting married soon -type people). But both of them have really good values, and are quite compatible. So its not always better looking girl with the average joe:laugh:
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 So by default, we average-looking (or worse) guys are being settled for . . . I often have wondered how I have managed to reproduce . . . So is love really just about not being able to attract anyone better looking (if you're a guy) or not being able to keep anyone better looking (if you're a woman)? I was hoping my cynicism wasn't really that accurate . . . Actually- people tend to date on their level. 8's date 8's, 5's date 5's, and so forth. You're not being settled for, my illustration was mostly in jest.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Actually- people tend to date on their level. 8's date 8's, 5's date 5's, and so forth. You're not being settled for, my illustration was mostly in jest. I think you're supporting my point, though . . .
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I think you're supporting my point, though . . . Not intentionally- but you can spin it as you'd like to. Have you dated a women before that you thought was hot?
GoodOnPaper Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Have you dated a women before that you thought was hot? Never gained much experience with women, but there was one gf who was "hot" to the extent that random men would hit on her on a consistent basis. Turned out that she was rather flakey emotionally. I don't know if that was due or related to her "hotness".
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 So by default, we average-looking (or worse) guys are being settled for . . . I often have wondered how I have managed to reproduce . . . So is love really just about not being able to attract anyone better looking (if you're a guy) or not being able to keep anyone better looking (if you're a woman)? I was hoping my cynicism wasn't really that accurate . . . That's why I asked if you'd ever dated a hottie I think you're supporting my point, though . . . Is your point that average looking guys are doomed to being settled for? Have you dated a women before that you thought was hot? Getting to my point but there was one gf who was "hot" to the extent that random men would hit on her on a consistent basis. Turned out that she was rather flakey emotionally. I don't know if that was due or related to her "hotness". You can score hot chicks~ why are you complaining?
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Panda, you are probably showing your insecurity with these guys, it's not really the hotness factor. Guys will sense insecurity and then they think "well, this chick really isn't a catch, she doesn't even like herself, what's up with that, I don't want that" and head for the hills. Insecurity to guys = desperation = you're not a challenge to them = you're not worth chasing because they've "got" you = not a catch to them, they're moving on. You need to think of yourself as worthy to date these guys, otherwise you will get the guys thinking that you are not worthy. CONFIDENCE YOU are the catch - they are lucky to be dating YOU. You HAVE to have that attitude with ALL men you date.
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