Really why is cheating treated like it was a crime??

[SpanksTheMonkey]

What if someone cheats and gives their significant other AIDS?

 

IMO, that IS criminal. You`ve essentially killed someone, albeit slowly.

 

I realize the diagnosis is no longer an automatic death sentence, with the medical advances that have been made, nonetheless, that selfish action

will affect the innocent party for the remainder of their life.

 

I keep hearing people refer to cheating a a "mistake". Two plus two equals five is a mistake. Forgetting to pay the electric bill is a mistake.

 

Screwing another person when you`re in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship, is not a mistake, it`s a selfish breach of trust.

It is a choice. I`ve read so many excuses and justifications here, and

it boggles my mind.

I agree with this 100% its not a mistake its a bad choice made by selfish self centered people.

 

Sure they can learn from it and become better people and good for them if they do.

 

But to me its pointless to pursue some one far as dating/courting goes only to get into a relationship just to cheat makes no sense to me why pursue them in the 1st place if thats the case.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Actually, if you deliberately have sex with someone knowing you are infected, and knowing you may, or will pass it on - that IS a criminal offence, at least it is, in the UK.

 

 

.

Wow so I guess they have to inform the sex partner before hand so in essence if you have aids its illegal to have sex no? I guess unless ur partner already has it I wonder how that would work..

[freestyle]

It`s not illegal to have sex when you have AIDS, but it is illegal to withhhold that information from your partner.

 

There have been lawsuits made by unsuspecting people who got infected.

 

I`m a little curious to know what the outcome has been in those cases.

[stuckinwithyou]

I mean aren't we kinda overreacting, treating it like it was a criminal offence when it's not?? Cheating just means you wanted to see what else was there and took another path, went outside your intended relationship but it's no where near the level of a criminal offense where in that case you get to serve jail time....

 

Basis there is really no rule stating that we are obligated to staying loyal to them. Unlike there are rules and punishments if you commit a robbery or other felonies...

 

 

I came on this site and I mentioned that I am married and wanted to cheat

" I was not "

I just wanted to see the reaction from other members

I was treated like criminal

I was called names

like retarded

head between ur butt

don't know how to spell

have major malfunction

 

even though I told them it was a joke and the still kept on being attacked by other members and treated like criminal or some sex offender

 

I tell you it is crazy on this site and it does drive people away somewhere else. or if they are not religious they won't even bother to come anywhere for an advice

 

I can I assure you there is a lot of cheating married men that are hiding in the closet " and I have documents to prove it"

 

I totally agree with you

[grogster]

Treating infidelity as a crime could raise some interesting consequences. Prosecuting a husband, who's also a father, could result in jail time and render the man, now a convicted felon, unemployable.

 

Infidelity is bad for families, but criminal prosecution and conviction are much worse. Also, not all infidelity destroys families. If one spouse assists in the criminal prosecution of another, the marriage is over.

 

I also suspect that wives will be prosecuted more often and more harshly than husbands. Why? The good old double standard. Saudi Arabia, anyone?

 

Whenever consensual human desire is criminalized, there will be hell to pay.

 

Be wary of the law of unintended consequences.

[Vet]

I came on this site and I mentioned that I am married and wanted to cheat

" I was not "

I just wanted to see the reaction from other members

I was treated like criminal

I was called names

like retarded

head between ur butt

don't know how to spell

have major malfunction

 

even though I told them it was a joke and the still kept on being attacked by other members and treated like criminal or some sex offender

 

I tell you it is crazy on this site and it does drive people away somewhere else. or if they are not religious they won't even bother to come anywhere for an advice

 

I can I assure you there is a lot of cheating married men that are hiding in the closet " and I have documents to prove it"

 

I totally agree with you

 

Is English not your first language?

[stuckinwithyou]

Is English not your first language?

now you mention it

Actually I just got off the boat in new york

now I am just hanging out under the bridge with some Mexicans killing time on

the net

if you have some sweet woman in your family I would love to meet

so I can settle down

later

[amerikajin]

If a friend approached me and said "I just cheated, what do you think?" I would tell them openly and honestly that I don't approve of it, and why, and I would tell them it's definitely in their best interests to cease and desist immediately. Whether they come clean is something I can't say because it's something that has to be dealt with between a man, his conscience, his God, his ethics, and his family. I would tell them that they've made a mistake and that it doesn't make a lot of sense to keep making mistakes. Nothing more, nothing less. I would not demonize them. That goes us nowhere.

[harmfulsweetz]

What if someone cheats and gives their significant other AIDS?

 

IMO, that IS criminal. You`ve essentially killed someone, albeit slowly.

 

I realize the diagnosis is no longer an automatic death sentence, with the medical advances that have been made, nonetheless, that selfish action

will affect the innocent party for the remainder of their life.

 

I keep hearing people refer to cheating a a "mistake". Two plus two equals five is a mistake. Forgetting to pay the electric bill is a mistake.

Screwing another person when you`re in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship, is not a mistake, it`s a selfish breach of trust.

It is a choice. I`ve read so many excuses and justifications here, and

it boggles my mind.

 

It's actually not a mistake to forget to pay the electric bill, it's an oversight.

 

Cheating is a mistake, you make the choice, it turns out to be a very bad choice and the wrong one, and so it becomes a mistake.

 

I'm sorry, but many people here have their heads jammed up their arses, and chastise anyone that so much as admits wrongdoing. I sincerely hope none of you end up in a predicament which could lead to hurting someone else, because then you may have to chastise yourselves.

 

There's no excuse or justification for cheating, but it happens day in, day out, like it or not. Why? Because as I've said before, we are only human, and humans are a weak, fickle species whom happens to give into temptation an awful lot. It's not a crime, it's an indiscretion, a discrepancy. I'll admit it, it's not nice hurting people, but isn't there worse things you can do to someone without cheating? i.e. abuse them physically, sexually and mentally? I've read a lot of articles which state that people who have PAs are more likely to be forgiven, than those who have EAs. Why? Because sex is sex, and emotions are an awful lot harder to pin down. Someone having sex outside of their R isn't good, but then, neither is depending emotionally on a member of the opposite sex, or same sex depending on which way you go.

 

The people who come on here who have cheated, are often distraught with themselves, guilty, ashamed, scared, desperate for someone to tell them they are only human, not let them off the hook, be honest, but not throw the book at them. They want advice, not a lynching. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have spent my time typing it would I? I'd be out having more 'fun' with strange men, not trying to suss out why I did it, and certainly not on a computer awaiting people's opinions. Cut us some slack, there may come a time when you need someone to be kind to you when you've done a horrible thing.

[Vet]

now you mention it

Actually I just got off the boat in new york

now I am just hanging out under the bridge with some Mexicans killing time on

the net

if you have some sweet woman in your family I would love to meet

so I can settle down

later

 

It seems like it, and for your sake, I hope you are; because if not, your grasp of your native language is about as same as your outlook on relationships with other humans--abominable.

[Hkizzle]

Which is a good way to drive the members away from this forum. My guess is they would still looked for help elsewhere.

 

I brought up this point as well. That's why I started the cheating is biological thread, and boy did that thread last.

[samsungxoxo]

I brought up this point as well. That's why I started the cheating is biological thread, and boy did that thread last.

Come to think of it, it sort of is in a way. Imagine if we were all in a jungle and lost and then we don't see our partners due to that situation. It's been days, weeks, etc. and still we are missing and someone nice shows up and starts talking then what, we still wait for them or assume they are missing and move on with the other person. I would say go for it already...... Besides our SO are strangers, that's how we met them in the beginning, as strangers... We're human, meaning we can change and evolve at certain time that things don't go as planned...

[avenger]

I suggest people read up on what the bible says about affairs and how God feels about it.

Life tend to be about choices....

Do I go to work today?

Do I stay faithful?

etc....

People who cheat choose to cheat.

All of that I cant help it BS is a lie......

No one is putting a gun to cheaters head to cheat......

[samsungxoxo]

I suggest people read up on what the bible says about affairs and how God feels about it.

Life tend to be about choices....

Do I go to work today?

Do I stay faithful?

etc....

People who cheat choose to cheat.

All of that I cant help it BS is a lie......

No one is putting a gun to cheaters head to cheat......

Does this includes atheists like myself??? You can't say people as in saying that you are suggesting everyone is of certain religion and isn't this thread hijacked?? What does religious verus nonreligious and so called bibles has to do with this topic????

[stace79]

I mean aren't we kinda overreacting, treating it like it was a criminal offence when it's not?? Cheating just means you wanted to see what else was there and took another path, went outside your intended relationship but it's no where near the level of a criminal offense where in that case you get to serve jail time....

 

Basis there is really no rule stating that we are obligated to staying loyal to them. Unlike there are rules and punishments if you commit a robbery or other felonies...

 

There IS a rule if you've agreed to committing to a monogomous relationship. Which is why you must be totally open and up-front when dealing with dating. If you don't want to be committed to one person, then don't. But don't tell them you will, and then cheat. You have then violated the rules of your relationship.

[Mz. Pixie]

Cheating is wrong and one should never do it. However it doesn't make someone a horrible person for the rest of their life- especially if they take responsibility and apologize and ask for forgiveness.

 

What I think is hilarious is that people mistreat their spouses horribly but that's okay and cheating is not. I also think it's hilarious that the same people who slam someone for cheating has possibly cheated on their taxes- or took too much money knowingly from a cashier or done something else along those lines.

[GorillaTheater]

What I think is hilarious is that people mistreat their spouses horribly but that's okay and cheating is not. I also think it's hilarious that the same people who slam someone for cheating has possibly cheated on their taxes- or took too much money knowingly from a cashier or done something else along those lines.

 

I certainly agree with the first sentence, but can't quite get on board with the second. Yes, cheating on taxes and taking advantage of a cashier's math mistake are wrong, but they don't quite stir up the kind of empathy from others as a situation where someone gets badly hurt. I can look askance at a friend cheating on his taxes, but it would be nothing like the "moral outrage", for lack of a better term, that I would feel if I found he was cheating on his wife.

[Mz. Pixie]

I certainly agree with the first sentence, but can't quite get on board with the second. Yes, cheating on taxes and taking advantage of a cashier's math mistake are wrong, but they don't quite stir up the kind of empathy from others as a situation where someone gets badly hurt. I can look askance at a friend cheating on his taxes, but it would be nothing like the "moral outrage", for lack of a better term, that I would feel if I found he was cheating on his wife.

 

See, thats where the judgment comes in.

 

I'm pretty sure the IRS frowns on cheating on your taxes and in fact you can go to jail for that.

 

I see where you're coming with the moral comment- however no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people involved and their higher power. Period.

[AAlike]

Personally I've never lumped cheating in with criminal behavior...

 

I have acquaintances, both male and female, that have cheated or knowingly been the other man or woman. I don't disassociate with them in the same manner that I would a convicted felon. However, it certainly puts a ceiling on how much I trust this person, and as a result how close my friendship with them can potentially be.

 

I put cheating in the same category as lying. There's no law against lying either, but once someone has lied to you, or used lying as a means of escape (which I believe cheating is also usually used as), they have set a precedent that is very hard to overturn.

[GorillaTheater]

See, thats where the judgment comes in.

 

I'm pretty sure the IRS frowns on cheating on your taxes and in fact you can go to jail for that.

 

I see where you're coming with the moral comment- however no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people involved and their higher power. Period.

 

I probably explained myself poorly. What I was trying to get at is the role played by empathy when society determines which ethical issues are more worthy of condemnation than others. Those which don't cause any appreciable wake of human debris and misery are not going to get the same rap from society as a whole than those which do. And I think that's probably fair, generally speaking.

[reservoirdog1]

Cheating is basically the worst thing you can do to another person that doesn't have criminal or other legal consequences in this part of the world (for the most part). I'll explain what I mean.

 

First, I think we can all accept that the person who's cheated gets, usually, pretty badly hurt in the process. Think of all the other ways to hurt somebody that, in our society, attract some form of legal consequence. Killing somebody. Raping them. Stealing from them. Defrauding them. Damaging their property. Hitting them. Telling lies about them to others (defamation). Doing many of those things by accident.

 

With cheating, however, there's no consequence. In North America, infidelity isn't even grounds for divorce anymore. You can't sue the OP for alienation of affection anymore. A person who cheats, gets an STD and passes it to their unknowing partner doesn't get punished. And a woman who cheats, becomes pregnant with the OP's child, and dupes her partner into thinking the child is his... well, in most places, the poor bastard is still on the hook for child support. Even though by any standard she's completely defrauded him -- there's nothing he can do to get compensation of any kind from her.

 

It's no wonder the betrayed partner usually feels so powerless when they learn the truth -- other than breaking up, there's nothing they can do. (And it's bewildering that so many cheaters get mortified at the gall of their betrayed partner for daring to tell anybody what they did.)

 

I'm not saying infidelity SHOULD be criminalized. But the above things are food for thought.

[donnamaybe]

I probably explained myself poorly. What I was trying to get at is the role played by empathy when society determines which ethical issues are more worthy of condemnation than others. Those which don't cause any appreciable wake of human debris and misery are not going to get the same rap from society as a whole than those which do. And I think that's probably fair, generally speaking.

 

There it is in a nutshell. The cheater puts aside any concern for their partner in lieu of their selfish, momentary pleasure. They care nothing about the misery their partner will feel at the discovery of their cheating. Now, THERE'S a great attitude for ya.

[avenger]

People forget that cheating used to be a crime...

People used to get stoned to death for it....

I think some countries still stone cheaters.....

I think some jail time should be issued like a week in jail just to get you to think about what you have done.....

I put cheating above stealing

[samsungxoxo]

I wonder how about if in a cheating case it only involved kissing someone else (whether it was drunk or not). Many exaggerate over that too esp. those that only kissed or made-out with the OW or OM take it as if they had tripple a child and get so worked-up on that.....

 

Not to sound rude or harsh but had the opportunity come out then there is no telling if I would have gone for a kiss and or making-out session afterall this LDR isn't even a relationship and I'm about to dump him any day I want to, I just don't want to waste money on a calling card where I can waste it on other things. Like on Saturday I had fun with a friend and so we went to a disco dancing with guys and then well me wasted some of my money on beer.. Now that was fun....

[amerikajin]

I wonder how about if in a cheating case it only involved kissing someone else (whether it was drunk or not). Many exaggerate over that too esp. those that only kissed or made-out with the OW or OM take it as if they had tripple a child and get so worked-up on that.....

 

Not to sound rude or harsh but had the opportunity come out then there is no telling if I would have gone for a kiss and or making-out session afterall this LDR isn't even a relationship and I'm about to dump him any day I want to, I just don't want to waste money on a calling card where I can waste it on other things. Like on Saturday I had fun with a friend and so we went to a disco dancing with guys and then well me wasted some of my money on beer.. Now that was fun....

 

I think the idea is that you and your partner presumably have an agreed-upon understanding, and that understanding is that as long as you're a couple, you shouldn't do things like kiss other people. If against the agreement, then you're probably acting inappropriately. I'm not saying it's a crime against humanity, but it's not really being truthful. It's probably best to find a way to part ways as respectfully as possible before engaging in any conduct like that. I'm not lecturing or anything, just sayin'...