Scarlett513 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 We all know that having "the talk" too soon is pretty much relationship suicide. But when it inevitably happens, how do you bring it up? How would you want it brought up to you? This is particularly a question for the guys, but happy to hear the ladies' opinions too =)
carhill Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 My recollection is that I and my wife (stbx) talked about 'relationships' and what we each wanted almost right from the get go. I have no problems with intimacy and sharing of such subjects. Some men do. They'll be along to give you proper advice
BobSacamento Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Relationships, just like marriage, are man made prisons. Let the man make his own prison.
AlektraClementine Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Well, I guess it all depends on intuition. Really. Doesn't that suck? In my relationship, I kinda already knew we were exclusive but I left the verbalization of that up to him...on account of how men can be gun-shy about this subject. 4 months in, he referred to me as his girlfriend to some work associates while I was present. Hook. Line. Sinker.
caramel c Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I don't think there really is a way to plan out how to bring it up. Usually its one of those things that naturally presents itself, and you deal with it head on.
likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 My gf and I knew that we weren't dating anyone else after a couple months. We never had the talk... it was just a given that we were gf/bf. I think it would be weird to have had that talk... very formal.... like "are we doing this?"... "I think so"... "you sure?"... "probably".
Author Scarlett513 Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 All very good advice - Normally it's not an issue, it just sort of happens when it happens. But I'm in a situation where it actually HAS to be brought up. It's complicated and there's no way around it. He wants us to talk, and I'm just not sure how to go about it.
fishtaco Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Relationships, just like marriage, are man made prisons. Let the man make his own prison. LOL, that's a good one. But I'm in a situation where it actually HAS to be brought up. It's complicated and there's no way around it. He wants us to talk, and I'm just not sure how to go about it. It always has to be brought up. Having it happen without bringing it up is the exception and not the rule. If it worked out that way, consider yourself lucky. Generally when one side is certain of their own intentions, then it's time for have the talk. I wouldn't call it relationship suicide even if it goes bad. Because if it's not going to work out, it's better to have it happen sooner than later. When relationships (or potential relationships) don't work out, it's not... oh man I screwed up... unless you really did something stupid, but more like, oh, I dodged a bullet. Trust me, it's MUCH MUCH less painful to end a relationship before it starts than to go for years only to discover that you've reached the end of the road. Edit: My bad... you were asking for how, not when. Bring it up informally when you're hanging out. My ex brought it up when we were out dancing at a club somewhere. Or when you're having a nice dinner, or whatever.
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