tobias087 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 My girlfriend and I have been together relatively happily for nearly 2 years. However, in the last few months, she has started to have a problem. She will suddenly and without warning lose romantic feelings for me. She describes it as "I feel like you're a close friend, but not my boyfriend." This has happened 6 or 7 times, and usually lasts no more than 2 weeks, before our relationship returns to normal. We are in the midst of one of these periods right now, and like each other time, I am afraid it will not end. This is painful for both of us, and we would like it to stop. Can anybody help? Is this normal? Thanks, Tobias
Author tobias087 Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 By the way, I realize that this isn't a particularly juicy topic, but it's a very big problem for us, and neither of us know what to do, so any feedback or suggestions of any kind would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
spiderowl Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 This could just be a temporary thing that she's feeling due to mood swings or it could be that she is warning you that she is having reservations. She may not want to say that she can't see the relationship lasting, but instead is letting you know her feelings are changing on a day-to-day basis. I don't think there's anything you can do about this. Don't be clingy and keep trying to make things right. If there is something you are doing wrong then you need to know exactly what it is. Listen to her and pay attention especially to anything that she keeps returning to that upsets her. However, it may be nothing you are doing but just her feelings telling her that you are not the right person for her. Prepare yourself for her possibly giving up on this. I wish I could say something more positive but the signs are there that she's wavering.
Author tobias087 Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 Thank you for the feedback. I don't think she is doing it on purpose, becuase she seems as equally upset as I am about it, and is also always quite scared it won't end. Several times it has been resolved after an (emotional) discussion about the things we do and our relationship, and other times it has simply evaporated. It's really bizarre.
dreamergrl Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I think she's conflicted as to what she wants. I think she is nearing the end of the relationship, but is afraid to go because it's what she knows, and what is familiar to her. By things going back to normal, she's trying to make it work, but it's eating at her, and that builds up, and pushes you off.
Author tobias087 Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 Thank you also for the reply. I just want to note that, except for this, we don't really have any major relationship troubles.
utterer of lies Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I think she is nearing the end of the relationship Nearing? Nope. It's over. She's just too comfortable to actually break it off. Maybe she's also trying to make it easier for Tobias087. Doesn't really matter though, she'll leave him as soon as there is a suitable successor on the horizon...
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