Mrs_AJ Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Hi guys, So as some of you know I wrote about meeting my SO of 11months (over the internet) during summer. Well... it never happened. 2 days before he was due to fly out from the states all the way to the UK he realised that his passport would expire 4 days before his return flight. So he wasn't allowed to travel. He had no idea and found out to late. He studies in the Carribean in which you only need your green card to travel to. Over those two days communication was difficult as he was out trying to convince them to let him travel, however that left me very anxious as I did not hear from him ie no phone call. There is a 6 hr time difference and I try to take that into account too. He left a message online for me late at night on the day he was meant to travel. I spent the day checking the Heathrow website in case his flight would have landed. As he hadnt contacted me that whole day I almost started believing he was actually on the flight. But this was not the case. He took it very hard. He said he was so sad about the fact that this happened and depressed about it. I took it better I think. I had this unsettling feeling that I shouldn't pin all my hopes on this meeting and just take it as it comes. I suppose I cushioned myself somehow. However I am obviously very dissapointed. I needed to see him. I can't figure out where this leaves me. Im in my final year of my studies and have exams coming up. Christmas is a no show, I have to study. Easter is a no show, he has board exams although Im free. So it's not going to happen. This year is a busy yr for both of us and this summer was meant to confirm whatever we have between us, or not. There are alot of hurdles between us, especially career wise . We're stuck. We can't pick up and move to the others country anytime soon as we;re both training to be doctors. The US won't accept my qualification and will ask me to do exams and training, something I'm not keepn on as it is very competitive and risky. The UK will accept his qualifications in about 4-5 years time. None of us are keen to take time out either as it is hard getting back on track. I like having plans. When I know what I'm doing I feel secure and happy. Im 25 and he's 27. I will start work in a years time and want to move on in life, have a family and kids in the near future and start enjoying all those things Ive put ahead since I was on lock-down with school for so many years. It has occured to me many times that I should give this relationship up. Why? well because of all the above. The summer thing has really just impacted on all my worries and fears. That it won't work and that I'm just dragging out on something that will crash sooner or later. Then I think about him and all the laughs we have had and how we've supported eachother through a tough study year. And all the times I've felt so loved by him and I think " Is he worth giving up?" But there is a part of me that thinks this will not happen. That there are too many uncertainties. That i want to stop worrying and move on... I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading hugs
carvidep Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 and I think " Is he worth giving up?" It sure sounds like you like him enough. The odds don't appear to be in your favor, but that doesn't mean you can't make it work. Don't make a hasty decision. Sit back and breathe for a moment. Visits don't just have to be on holidays. What if you both make time and plan a couple of 3-4 day visits? Could that be possible with your schedules? Even just a couple of weekends. It's better than nothing. And I recently discovered the great deals that Travelzoo.com provides on airfare! Definitely check that out! Best of luck!
KikiW Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I would REALLY try to find a visiting time, even if it is only for a few days, and extended weekend, whatever. You two NEED to make time for each other. Human relationships are important. Work hard to get the papers done a little early, study a little later for those exams, whatever you need to do to set aside 3-4 days of YOU time. Cheap fares CAN be found. You CAN make it work, you just have to dedicate yourselves to it. you can do it, I know you can!
Recommended Posts