Lish Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Dreamer and Lish -- I really like you girls. Strong, confident, and capable women aren't as rare as they once were I'm thinking. Thankyou your attitude and mean words towards me speak much volumes about yourself than about me. Not being mean, simply saying you force your faith on others & that you fail to acknowledge that people live a different way to you. I like a good debate.. but you can't debate with someone who fails to respect the opinions of others and just keeps warbling on endlessly. I have nothing more to say to you. Like I said, I've wasted enough time. Lish, it does you no good to bandy words with a fanatic. It wastes your time and gives them a soapbox to preach from. You seem to have adjusted to what happened to you, and your courage and intelligence are what pulled you through, not some myth. yeah, I'm at a place in my life where it doesn't control my life anymore. Hopefully i can help those who have been in a similar situation and that is not a blessing from God, that is what I've decided to do with the experience. I could easily have sat and cried all this time... it woulda been easier than truly facing everything. Thanks for the kind words/support.
Lovelybird Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Not being mean, simply saying you force your faith on others & that you fail to acknowledge that people live a different way to you. I like a good debate.. but you can't debate with someone who fails to respect the opinions of others and just keeps warbling on endlessly. I have nothing more to say to you. Like I said, I've wasted enough time. I simply answered your questions, I didn't say "you have to believe what I believe", and you disrespect me several times by your words. I guess strong confident woman use strong demeaning words to others? do to others what you want to be treated. Do you want to be thrown at demeaning words at you?
boldjack Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 You're very welcome, Lish. I wish you the best.........Jack
Hkizzle Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Wow, I can't believe I read all that. It turned into a theology thread. In my books. You shouldn't have sex with someone until you know they're: Not a psycho Player Gold digger Bitch Jerk Manipulative person using deception etc, etc. Considering when you first meet someone, they're a total stranger, if you're in regular contact that should still be after a month, simply because chemistry is a highly unrealible way of finding out if someone is nice. (for a relationship that is) For fun, after a drink. But don't cry if you get a std, or fall for someone after some time and they turn into a nightmare.
Els Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Back to the topic... Guess it partly depends on how you define 'sex'. To some people, 'sex' MUST involve intercourse... apparently oral sex, anal sex, handjobs, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc, isn't considered as 'sex'. I define sex as any sexual acts involving sexual organs in any way , soooo... I typically wait around 3-4 months or so.... when we're exclusive and somewhat committed, and past the 'let's just have a fun date once a week or so' stage. Yeah, yeah, I know some of you would say it's really long and all, but in my culture it's unbelievably fast, really. The guys always told me how surprised they were that I offered it so quickly, but that it didn't diminish their perception of me (and I made sure of this before actually getting to it).
Author dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Dreamer and Lish -- I really like you girls. Strong, confident, and capable women aren't as rare as they once were I'm thinking. Thank you :) That was one of the nicest things I heard all day! your attitude and mean words towards me speak much volumes about yourself than about me. OMG, are you serious? After you get done telling me I got beat and lost my child because I didn't listen to YOUR God? You can recite every word from the bible, and play it out to benefit you, but it means nothing to me, why? Because the filth you spit out is nothing more then that. You direct it to how it fits for you. Not for others. You aren't christian. Christians don't speak of the crap you do. Then you wine and cry that someone is mean to you? I laugh at that. I have ten times more respect for Lish then I could ever have for you. She, nor I, nor others here, are NOT a walking double standard. And that is that. Karma sucks. A big fat penis, and before it's married, and you'll realize one day that life is not black and white. When you do, I wont feel sorry for you.
CLC2008 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 http://www.hiphopmusicdotcom.com/ti-ft-rihanna-live-your-life-video.html
littlewhiterose Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 No, I understand religion. I have friends that come from a very very similar background, except they don't shove their thoughts down my throat, nor do they force blame on others because they don't share the same exact beliefs. They don't tell me I deserve all the bad that has happened to me, because I didn't listen to God. that's far from Christian. It has to do with the person behind the beliefs and how they go about them. Not the actual belief. Now, I haven't read the entire thread from beginning to end, I'll do that when I get the time but- What did catch my eye, was this- the believed notion that: IF bad things, or things we deem as 'bad' happen to us, it's because we did something wrong or bad and that's out punishment. Quite frankly, it's the opposite. That's when we are closest to God. (If you'd like me to elaborate 'my take' on this, I can.) So if anyone were to toss this notion, oh, I'd jump on the opportunity to see the more positive take on it. Discussions on religion are generally hard. Because most of us are hard-headed in our convictions, and none of us have it right. We only have gathered information and opinions based on assessment and our experiences along with how we convey and what we do with this information. Again- I haven't read the whole thread yet, so this is not an attack on ANYONE who's posted) But I agree Dreamergrl, it very much has to do with the person behind the beliefs.
Vet Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 As for those who were abused as a child, that is tragedy. God never plans these evil things on anyone. But HE can use these experiences to bless others. Do you know Joyce Meyer? she was sexually abused by her own father when she was young, she grew up and chose an abusive husband. But God entered her life, not only changed her and blessed her ten times more, but also God uses her experience to help thousands, millions of others. People may use their evil to hurt you, but God can restore you. As for waiting, come back to the topic:D, why God wants me to wait? because God loves me and us deeply, and HE has all wisdom, HE knows us well more than we know ourselves. If God is able to prevent evil but unwilling, then God is malevolent. If God is willing but unable to prevent evil, then he is not omnipotent. If God is unwilling and unable to prevent evil, then he is neither omnipotent nor good.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Do you guys make sure your exclusive first? Well.. obviously not if it's first date sex, but those who wait... I waited till it was exclusive. My first time was about 10 months after we starting dating. When I was younger, hearing stories from my friends that lost their virginity before M - I said to myself.. gee, I'm not going to be one of them. Well.. guess what? :laugh:
Hkizzle Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 If God is able to prevent evil but unwilling, then God is malevolent. If God is willing but unable to prevent evil, then he is not omnipotent. If God is unwilling and unable to prevent evil, then he is neither omnipotent nor good. haha, the good old predestination arguement. Whilst it's correct, you tell that to anyone with faith and they will reject it right away despite it's logic. Omg, this is turning into a theology thread!
Author dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 thats got to be the biggest joke of the century. if they were confident, this thread would have not got to them so bad that they start defending their lives and themselves. what a couple of psychos and i think there are a for more where that came from Wow, that's a creative new name after getting banned. :rolleyes:
Vet Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 ROFL. Just because I was one who wasn't completely against Lovelybird, you get your panties in a twist, and obviously reported me in hopes i was a returned member. Well actually I was, but NOT whoever the heck you were talking about before. I said nothing that was against the rules. Some of you are incredibly immature, do you not have a life? I'm glad you have a few people to assist you in getting people kicked off of here, must be fun. It's got to be like the only thing you have to do., seriously how pathetic is that......well yeah over 4,000 post just since Feb 2008, and you girls are far from strong and confident. I'm still laughing at that, it must have been a joke. You turned this thread into something it should have not been. Like I said psychos, and it shows in this thread especially. I'm mostly speaking of LIsh and Dreamer. And dreamer, I saw you yesterday, you had something negative to say in every thread, there were even others who called you a bitch, so its not just me. You have a terrible disposition. As that one person said in that other thread GET THE F OUT=GTFO. And I'm guessing a few of you are single and will be for a while.....no suprise there. by the way, I did notice your thread about your date you had. Sounds like won't be too long before you screw the guy, and thats probably when you find out he is not actually single, and has more than 2 kids LOL Well, I'll be banned again after this, but feel free, its not like it's hard to create a new name...I'll just have to stay clear and ignore the freaks. Bye now:bunny: Speaking of getting your panties in a twist...
Author dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Speaking of getting your panties in a twist... that is one angry person that should never have kids!
bluewolf17 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I simply answered your questions, I didn't say "you have to believe what I believe", and you disrespect me several times by your words. I guess strong confident woman use strong demeaning words to others? do to others what you want to be treated. Do you want to be thrown at demeaning words at you? Lovelybird has a point here. I don't think she forced her beleif down anyone's throat. If anything, posters were asking her more questions..and she answered as best as she could. She came back each time and answered other posters follow up questions. Overall, she held her groundto her best ability, and actually kept a cool head. No I don't agree, with either DreamerGirl or Lovelybird. In fact, I kind of hope this thread will end because it is way off topic and getting a little mean. (and yes, I do realize the irony of me adding to it). I would like to see it moved to the religion thread and continued on though..very interesting stuff.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Lovelybird has a point here. I don't think she forced her beleif down anyone's throat. If anything, posters were asking her more questions..and she answered as best as she could. She came back each time and answered other posters follow up questions. Overall, she held her grown to her best ability, and actually kept a cool head. Telling a person they are at fault for getting beat because they didn't listen to God, is just a manipulative way of forcing religion on someone.
Island Girl Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Telling a person they are at fault for getting beat because they didn't listen to God, is just a manipulative way of forcing religion on someone. I agree dreamer. I long for the days when someone would say kindly, "I've found my belief in God has really helped me through the tough times." And if that person is not of like mind the subject is dropped and simple empathy follows. What a person believes may not be what someone else believes. Respecting that means you DROP IT. I too am a victim of childhood abuse and it is in no way the fault of the child - nor is it any God's will, a test, a character building exercise, etc. ALL OF THAT is a bunch of crap. It is simply a very sick and twisted person inflicting their will and wishes on a defenseless child. I am happy to see that those posting of similar situations are not afraid of sex or people for that matter. I am glad to see you came through such a mess (the ex and the loss of the baby) and still see the world of possibilities that are out there. And you are looking to get what you want out of a relationship now - and not settling or putting up with abuse. In answer to the original thread question, I have had no hard fast rule when it comes to having sex. But waiting a few weeks has never been a deal breaker for any guy I dated. So when in doubt - wait. And when you are sure and you want to -- go for it.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 I do agree, when it doubt it's best to wait.
Isolde Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 If God is able to prevent evil but unwilling, then God is malevolent. If God is willing but unable to prevent evil, then he is not omnipotent. If God is unwilling and unable to prevent evil, then he is neither omnipotent nor good. While I agree Lovelybird came on too strong, the above shows a very poor understanding of theology.
Isolde Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Please enlighten me. It's completely off topic. You can post in the Spirituality section if you want; maybe even some agnostics/atheists can explain to you why that's not a good argument.
Isolde Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 It's not completely off topic, since that's where the topic of this thread went. I might suggest that if you don't wish to back up your statements, then perhaps you shouldn't post them. It's true that the whole thread veered OT. To back up my statement I'll only say your argument is a) simplistic, b) doesn't account for the free will and inherent impurity of humans that keeps evil cycling, and c) assumes that God is anthropomorphic and "thinks" of good and evil in the same way as humans. I'm not saying you shouldn't believe what you want to believe, just that your argument is too bare-bones to hold water in a theological debate. It's the classic "s__t happens to good people so God can't be real" argument.
Isolde Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Of course it was simplistic: it was three lines of text. I wasn't trying to hold any sort of theological debate, especially not in a forum such as this, especially not with people who think of humans as being "inherently impure". My post was simply the offering of a counterpoint to the Lovelybird's post that "God doesn't plan evil things". I never said I thought of individual people as inherently impure but HUMANITY itself is according to most religions. I never said anything about my personal beliefs either. And btw impure doesn't equal evil. Even the best among us is no moral snowflake and I doubt that anyone, religious or not would disagree with that. I get that you don't want to have a detailed debate on this forum, so don't draw me into one.
northstar1 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 It's completely off topic. You can post in the Spirituality section if you want; maybe even some agnostics/atheists can explain to you why that's not a good argument. If someone can come on a message board and preach religious dogma as if it is universal truth, then why can't the rest of us who are not religious hold that up to scrutiny? I saw nothing wrong with Vet's summary at all, based on Ladybird's explanation of God and Evil and cause and effect as such. Afterall, it is all just opinion isn't it? And if someone is versed in theology, then they would know the God in the Old Testament not only allows the creation and ramifications of evil to exist (using Ladybirds own example of the Garden of Eden) but he also does his own unleashing of evil to those who do not follow him. But as you said, maybe this should all be kept ot the Spiritual section
Isolde Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 And if someone is versed in theology, then they would know the God in the Old Testament not only allows the creation and ramifications of evil to exist (using Ladybirds own example of the Garden of Eden) but he also does his own unleashing of evil to those who do not follow him. But as you said, maybe this should all be kept ot the Spiritual section I said from the start that Ladybird was over the top. When I was arguing against Vet's explanation I was just giving examples of why his argument was simplistic. I wasn't attempting to be thorough and I never claimed to be a good theological debater. I was just responding to him if you will. Nothing wrong with that.
bluewolf17 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 But as you said, maybe this should all be kept in the Spiritual section Yes! The dating forumn is not a stable ground for such a debate.
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