V.Vixen Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Guy tries to talk to me. I give short answers and run off as if I am so super busy and just don't have time. He doesn't get a chance to ask me out because I have my "ice queen" shield up. It's my natural instinct. I always kick myself afterwards. I don't know how to overcome it. This is why when my friends are busy I am home on a Friday night. I am wondering if there is hope for me.
TaraMaiden Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Is there any reason at all why you think it's impossible to change a 'no I'm busy' to a 'yes, I'm free'? They're only words... it's like thinking 'black' but saying 'white'.....
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Guy tries to talk to me. I give short answers and run off as if I am so super busy and just don't have time. He doesn't get a chance to ask me out because I have my "ice queen" shield up. It's my natural instinct. I always kick myself afterwards. I don't know how to overcome it. This is why when my friends are busy I am home on a Friday night. I am wondering if there is hope for me. I used to be like this ALL the time. I had anxiety about things, I got intimidated by guys.. I'd clam up because I was shy, it was mistaken for stuck up. Eventually I learned to let go of all the worrying and crap. Gained some self confidence. I don't get all freaked out now.
Author V.Vixen Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 I am not really too busy! It is an anxiety thing. I literally feel like I need to run away. I get a knot in my stomach. I am really trying to work on it, but the instinct always takes over.
nobody's girl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Not sure who originally said it, but I've always liked this quote: “Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Not sure who originally said it, but I've always liked this quote: “Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” There's a difference between keeping some walls up, and completely shutting people out.
Author V.Vixen Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 When I meet guys online I don't have this problem, because I already know a lot about them and vice versa, but i am so done with that being the only avenue to meet men without having an inner freak out. I am not a hermit, I have friends and do fun things. Once I know a guy I am fun and outgoing.. but meet a man I don't know who is trying to talk to me and I crumble inside!
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 When I meet guys online I don't have this problem, because I already know a lot about them and vice versa, but i am so done with that being the only avenue to meet men without having an inner freak out. I am not a hermit, I have friends and do fun things. Once I know a guy I am fun and outgoing.. but meet a man I don't know who is trying to talk to me and I crumble inside! V - I'm telling you - that's exactly how I used to be. You need to work on losing the anxiety and feeling more confident up front. Next time, try forcing yourself through it, even if it doesn't turn out well.
Cora Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Oh wow, i'm exactly like this now. I always have been, just haven't figured out how to get over it yet. If a guy comes up and starts talking to me I get the huge knot in my stomach and start giving the one word yes no type answers. Oh and forget the eye contact. I can't even look them in the eye and if I do manage it isn't for long. They finally just assume I'm not interested and move along. Boy do I kick myself afterwards as well! I keep telling myself one day I'm not gonna let this stupid fear control me....haha one day, whenever that is.
Author V.Vixen Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 A lot of times they don't even approach because they feel my "shield" and don't bother. It's a hard thing to change!
messiah Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 HAHA, I know what you mean. An attractive girl in my class asked me if I wanted to help her look for a book for our book review. Me being the casanova that I am declined her! Of course I just wanted to say yes but for some reason a "no" came out. To this day it has been an unsolved mystery. However! I plan to ask for her number when class is back on. Moral of the story is, do not act stuck up and uninterested when clearly you are.
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