Vet Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Yeah what you said makes sense but I would counter that with learn to dress a little sexier and watch men ask YOU out. That's the ideal place you wanna be in as a woman not the other way around where you are doing all the asking. That's not letting your life pass you by, if you take an active role to dress for success, you will make life happen for you. Hey, if you genuinely feel comfortable and better dressing in something "sexy", then good for you (for doing something that's for you), but it doesn't sound like the OP likes doing so. It sounds like she wants to dress this way specifically to attract men and give her the fortune of them paying attention to her; it's just unfortunate because I'm sure she has a lot to offer.
Gamine Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, I just had to make a post about this. Conservative clothes are very comfortable, I feel more confident in them, and personally I feel like I'm not trying too hard. But since I am single and do want to find somebody, dressing conservatively almost gets me very little male attention. I can almost go days/weeks without a guy finding me sexually attractive. You pretty much go unacknowledged, men don't even bother to make eye contact with you. I wind up feeling so ugly and undesirable that I pull out a pair of tight jeans, and a tight shirt to feel like I am somebody I know they will say that dressing sexy attracts the wrong type of men, the shallow kind..but IMO, it seems that dressing sexy is needed to attract even the right kind of men, to get them to at least notice you. I'd like to share a personal story with you. I walked into a convenience store with a coworker of mine and I was wearing a turtleneck, linen blazer, long linen skirt, heals, and large hoops. The outfit was fitted but not tight. It was summer. In rolls carloads of teenage and early 20's girls with bikinis and sarongs... belly rings... My coworker was hysterical laughing because there I am in the turtleneck and the guys weren't even looking at the half naked girls... they were after me. Sex appeal is something you can pull off wearing a parka.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Hey, if you genuinely feel comfortable and better dressing in something "sexy", then good for you (for doing something that's for you), but it doesn't sound like the OP likes doing so. It sounds like she wants to dress this way specifically to attract men and give her the fortune of them paying attention to her; it's just unfortunate because I'm sure she has a lot to offer. Hun let me fill you in on a little secret NO WOMAN dresses solely for herself. Some women will tell they do to play it down it's not true, if she puts effort into it then she cares what others think. We dress well and like to look good because we like the admiration from others. If no one gave a shet no one would even try. You sexy vixen, you! :laugh: I am meeting G right after work for dinner.
prettybaby Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 yeah ok show up on a date with sweatpants and old shirt. Better you than me hun... What are you talking about? OP wasn't talking about the clothes she'd specifically wear on a date. She was making a general statement, saying that dressing down in general doesn't get any attention. I'm saying that you can definitely get attention in sweatpants and an old shirt if you're sending out the right vibes. And like I said, it depends on the situation. So yeah, obviously, I've never worn and never would wear sweatpants on a date. No idea where your comment came from.
Lyssa Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Sex appeal is something you can pull off wearing a parka. True and sex appeal isn't something you can create. It's either you have it or you don't. :laugh: I am meeting G right after work for dinner. No wonder!
espec10001 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I find girls who dress unique to be the most attractive and alluring. Unique hair, unique makeup, things like that. When you see 10000+ girls in UG boots and the same pants and the same type of shirts its hard to distinguish between them. When a girl dresses in a unique way it signals to me that she has her own sense of style, confidence, and doesn't care what people think about how she dresses, which is the biggest attraction for me. Like men who attract women because they are their own man, women who are their own woman are equally attractive. I think if you want to attract more male attention regarding clothing find a normal piece of clothing and ADD something unique to it, like a pin or a decoration, something that stands out. Even paint it if you want. I guarantee men won't confuse you with another girl!
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Sex appeal is something you can pull off wearing a parka. To a certain extent. I have seen guys who are not all that sexy to begin with dressed really well and look really sexy in doing so, I have seen really attractive guys wearing bad clothes and look VERY unsexy. I just don't think good looking people can pull off wearing bad clothes as easily as some of you are making it out to be. why is it that most good looking people really put an effort into maintaining abreast of the latest fashion trends and what's hot? If sex appeal alone is what you need and the clothes or the attire doesn't matter then explain the entire fashion idustry to me? I have yet to meet a really attractive person whom I deemed with strong sex appeal who does not dress well. Name me someone really sexy who dresses poorly.
espec10001 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 To a certain extent. I have seen guys who are not all that sexy to begin with dressed really well and look really sexy in doing so, I have seen really attractive guys wearing bad clothes and look VERY unsexy. I just don't think good looking people can pull off wearing bad clothes as easily as some of you are making it out to be. why is it that most good looking people really put an effort into maintaining abreast of the latest fashion trends and what's hot? If sex appeal alone is what you need and the clothes or the attire doesn't matter then explain the entire fashion idustry to me? I have yet to meet a really attractive person whom I deemed with strong sex appeal who does not dress well. Name me someone really sexy who dresses poorly. Sexy people dress the way they want and don't follow the crowd. It doesn't make a damn difference to them whether or not you like what they wear. THEY like it so that is all that matters. You can dress like the kakis and the button tucked in nice shirt, but how many endless guys dress like that? It just looks like they are getting spewed out of a factory. I don't find imitation sexy at all, but maybe you do. Which is fine.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Sexy people dress the way they want and don't follow the crowd. It doesn't make a damn difference to them whether or not you like what they wear. THEY like it so that is all that matters. You can dress like the kakis and the button tucked in nice shirt, but how many endless guys dress like that? It just looks like they are getting spewed out of a factory. I don't find imitation sexy at all, but maybe you do. Which is fine. I never said dress like eveyone else where did I say that? If you want to be alone for the rest of your life you can wear a big clown wig and 7 inch paltforms and big bright green suspender pants, afterall that's what you like and how you feel comfortable. The OP wants to be noticed more, it ain't going to happen dressing comfy and like an office person when women all around her are making an effort to showcase their feminine attributes. It's that simple really
Star Gazer Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 You absolutely can dress conservatively and still be sexy and attractive. I dress pretty conservatively almost every darn day, and that doesn't stop me from getting looks, hit on, etc., and when I was single, dating up a storm. I'm sorry, but you do NOT have to wear tight, provacative clothing to be sexy or flattering. Examples: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213659&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213244&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-231252&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-247975&page=1&cgname=OSCLOALSZZZ&rfnbr=6490&atp=a That said, if you think you need to dress provacactively in order to be attractive to men and date, you should probably reevaluate the reason why you're dating to begin with.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm sorry, but you do NOT have to wear tight, provacative clothing to be sexy or flattering. Examples: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213659&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213244&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-231252&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-247975&page=1&cgname=OSCLOALSZZZ&rfnbr=6490&atp=a That said, if you think you need to dress provacactively in order to be attractive to men and date, you should probably reevaluate the reason why you're dating to begin with. :lmao::lmao: I loved your last comment, and that was after you posted 3 ( the second not so much) SUPER PROVOCATIVE outfits, :rolleyes: that's dressing provocatively and sexy that is not conservative at ALL:rolleyes: you are totally supporting what I am saying! I date for the sexual chemistry and eventually love, what's your reason to date? Parcheesy?
espec10001 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I never said dress like eveyone else where did I say that? If you want to be alone for the rest of your life you can wear a big clown wig and 7 inch paltforms and big bright green suspender pants, afterall that's what you like and how you feel comfortable. The OP wants to be noticed more, it ain't going to happen dressing comfy and like an office person when women all around her are making an effort to showcase their feminine attributes. It's that simple really And if she wants to be noticed more then she can define her own style. That is what is sexy, not what some magazine tells you. It's like girls see how they dress on tv and they all copy that.
westernxer Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 If you are attractive in general, you should still be gaining attention, and you wouldn't have to dress all up to grab guys attention. Women dress to impress other women. To hell with the men and what they think! LOL
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Did I miss it somewhere? What exactly is OP comfortable in? If we're talking about dressing comfortable in over sized clothes or what not, then yeah, you gotta take it up a notch. You don't have to dress slutty to be sexy, but you should feel confident enough to wear something that flatters your physique.
Author MissJoness Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 Your statement is so obvious its funny. girl 1: sweat pants and baggy shirt = no sex appeal (proably little appeal not just 'sex') girl 2: well fitting jeans, nice top = nice look, likely with a bit of sex appeal. I mean DUH, obivously. And jeans, and a tight top is hardly anything more than jeans a top. It's not a short skirt with high heeled stilletto boots. Who the would want a girl (or guy) who doesn't give a hell about looking nice, only what is comfortable? Yes, darling- you have to put in a little effort into your look. When I say conservative, I don't mean dress like you're going to the gym=sweatpants, hoody I have some very nice, stylish and conservative clothing that I wear, but when I wear it, I receive very little male attention with those clothes. I become almost invisible to men. It's because those clothes in particular are not showing any hips, ass or tits--so men don't even bother. Yet, let me go into a store wearing that very nice and conservative outfit, and the salesguy won't even give me a second look. The next day, I'll grab a pair of my tightest jean, with a tight fitted shirt, and some sexy heels, and he's notices me, and suddenly wants to get very chatty with me. That's just how superficial and shallow men are. In some ways, it makes me hate them at times. I notice when I dress conservatively, women seem to respect me more, and are more friendly towards me
Thaddeus Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 That's just how superficial and shallow men are. In some ways, it makes me hate them at times.Hear that rufflling sound? Sounds a bit like fabric blowing in the wind? That's a whole cluster of red flags that are following you around, waving happily in the breeze just out of your line-of-sight. Maybe you can't see them, but they're readily apparent to every guy in the vicinity. With that attitude - "That's just how superficial and shallow men are. In some ways, it makes me hate them at times" - it's no wonder that you don't find that you're attracting quality men. I don't say this with irony or with judgement. Seriously. It just might be worth looking at the attitude you're walking around with, the "vibe" that you're sending out. Because any observant man can spot it a mile away.
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 OP - given you're other thread... I think it has more to do with your confidence. How you present yourself, not you're clothing, is going to have a HUGE impact on the male attention you receive.
Author MissJoness Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 You absolutely can dress conservatively and still be sexy and attractive. I dress pretty conservatively almost every darn day, and that doesn't stop me from getting looks, hit on, etc., and when I was single, dating up a storm. I'm sorry, but you do NOT have to wear tight, provacative clothing to be sexy or flattering. Examples: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213659&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-213244&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-231252&page=1&cgname=OSCLOWORZZZ&rfnbr=6483&atp=a http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-247975&page=1&cgname=OSCLOALSZZZ&rfnbr=6490&atp=a That said, if you think you need to dress provacactively in order to be attractive to men and date, you should probably reevaluate the reason why you're dating to begin with. Stargazer, the clothes you posted are tight fitted--the type of clothes you have to wear to get men's attention. That is something I would wear in order to get noticed--especially for a woman who is curvy, the first dress would look very provocative on a woman who has a big behind and large breasts (i dont have large breasts) Those are the kind of clothes that I am talking about that men seem to respond to--it's a less provocative version though I like to be diverse in what I wear, and every style of clothing I have is not always tight fitted, sometimes you get sick of wearing that. There are some really cute loose fitted attire that I have but I do not wear because I become nearly INVISIBLE to men. if they could walk right through me they would. some men even act unfriendly if you aren't dressed sexy in some way
stefspets Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 This thread is making me laugh. I dress...conservatively and comfortably, every day. A lot of days jeans and a polo shirt (I am an engineer, that is sort of the "dress code" around here). Some days I'll wear something a bit nicer. I never wear makeup during the day. I comb my hair and put it into a ponytail when it's dry--that's it. According to your definition I don't dress in a way that would attract men--but I've been asked out by a guy in my office building (just someone I walked past in the courtyard and smiled at a few times). I've gone out to bars in jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup, and been asked out. Also--I am not a 10 in appearance. This is a confidence issue--I am happy with myself and that shines through. Plus making eye contact, smiling, and talking to people helps. If you lack confidence or have a really negative attitude, you will detract men, no matter what you are wearing.
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 If stefspets is being asked out by the kind of men she *wants* to attract, this means she's sending the right signals with her dress style and demeanor. When the OP states she dresses a certain way and *no one* notices, that means she hasn't encountered anyone who would or will notice. If she dresses another way, like in the example of the salesman, and he does notice, after not noticing before, she then has to decide if he is the *right kind of man* for her to be attracting. I mean, to me, as an old fart, it seems so simple, LOL. I don't approach provocatively dressed strange women simply because they don't send out the right kind of signals to attract *me*; my psyche, my personality style. That in no way means they're slutty, bad or anything negative. It's just not a good fit for me, personally. The vibe is wrong for *me*. Hence, I become that guy she scratches her head about (if she's noticed me) as to why her sexy outfit didn't attract me. Our paths just never crossed. No harm, no foul. OP, simply put, if you present your authentic self, you will attract men who value and appreciate that authentic self, whatever it might be. You can then decide if their valuation and appreciation has any significant meaning for you. Potentials abound. Don't fret
stepka Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 When I say conservative, I don't mean dress like you're going to the gym=sweatpants, hoody I have some very nice, stylish and conservative clothing that I wear, but when I wear it, I receive very little male attention with those clothes. I become almost invisible to men. It's because those clothes in particular are not showing any hips, ass or tits--so men don't even bother. Yet, let me go into a store wearing that very nice and conservative outfit, and the salesguy won't even give me a second look. The next day, I'll grab a pair of my tightest jean, with a tight fitted shirt, and some sexy heels, and he's notices me, and suddenly wants to get very chatty with me. That's just how superficial and shallow men are. In some ways, it makes me hate them at times. I notice when I dress conservatively, women seem to respect me more, and are more friendly towards me Why not aim for something in the middle? Show one of those--legs, ass, or cleavage, but not all 3. Dress mainly the way you like (and I'm still confused--you're not talking about married frumpy right, but like office attire?), but add one sexy element. Then you won't look slutty or feel like you do. After all, you want to look attractive and somewhat sexy, but not slutty. I don't think you should hate men for not looking. There are a million people in this world to rest your eye on and to get attention you have to stand out in some way. Companies know this when they market their products--they can't rely on their products to speak for themselves, no matter how wonderful the product is. They have to up the ante and they spend millions of dollars to advertise b/c they know that they have to get attn somehow. People are no different. I'm betting you don't notice men who don't stand out in some way either--esp if they're not particularly outgoing. A bitter attitude will get you no dates, so go get some sexy shirts or play up your best feature somehow. Got great legs? Show them off somehow, and wear clothes that fit well. No mom jeans, okay?
RouRou Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 What kind of clothes are you wearing? What do you consider conservative??
Isolde Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Mmm, I have a hard time believing this. As long as you're dressing modern-conservative--and not like out of the 1950s--you should have no trouble displaying the good points of your figure. Maybe you are just wearing the wrong cuts and fits and colors for you? I understand that loose pants suits are not sexy, but for example, sleek slacks with a fitted half sleeve blazer and a cami underneath--that's sexy. A shapeless shift dress is not attractive but one with an empire waist, just might be. Believe me, you will be surprised how few modifications are needed to turn frumpy into all-purpose pretty.
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