MissJoness Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, I just had to make a post about this. Conservative clothes are very comfortable, I feel more confident in them, and personally I feel like I'm not trying too hard. But since I am single and do want to find somebody, dressing conservatively almost gets me very little male attention. I can almost go days/weeks without a guy finding me sexually attractive. You pretty much go unacknowledged, men don't even bother to make eye contact with you. I wind up feeling so ugly and undesirable that I pull out a pair of tight jeans, and a tight shirt to feel like I am somebody I know they will say that dressing sexy attracts the wrong type of men, the shallow kind..but IMO, it seems that dressing sexy is needed to attract even the right kind of men, to get them to at least notice you.
vox Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, I just had to make a post about this. Conservative clothes are very comfortable, I feel more confident in them, and personally I feel like I'm not trying too hard. But since I am single and do want to find somebody, dressing conservatively almost gets me very little male attention. I can almost go days/weeks without a guy finding me sexually attractive. You pretty much go unacknowledged, men don't even bother to make eye contact with you. I wind up feeling so ugly and undesirable that I pull out a pair of tight jeans, and a tight shirt to feel like I am somebody I know they will say that dressing sexy attracts the wrong type of men, the shallow kind..but IMO, it seems that dressing sexy is needed to attract even the right kind of men, to get them to at least notice you. I think what's more important is that the person WEARING the clothes feel comfortable, confident and relaxed in whatever they're wearing. You can put a scared and lonely girl in a little black dress, but it's still a scared and lonely girl. Confidence and being at peace with yourself radiates like an aura around you no matter what you wear.
jerbear Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I know they will say that dressing sexy attracts the wrong type of men, the shallow kind..but IMO, it seems that dressing sexy is needed to attract even the right kind of men, to get them to at least notice you. It is the woman who fits the dress and the dress accentuates the woman. I personally like conservative edgy dress. You don't need to dress sexy (as in provocative) to get my attention. She'll get my attention but if she is an butter face, then no amount of dressing sexy will get my attention.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Confidence and being at peace with yourself radiates like an aura around you no matter what you wear. Nah, nah nah, doesn't work that way! As a woman going out on a date you should never just wear "comfortable sensible" clothes because you feel comfortable and confident. Learn to feel confident in something sexier. You should definitely wear something feminine and flrty that has a splash of sexiness to it. Men love that. Don't wear contraptions that oversexify where you are showing all kinds of skin that is tacky. But definitely DO NOT wear sensible clothes. Leave those for the office or the court appearance, which ever comes first.
vox Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Nah, nah nah, doesn't work that way! As a woman going out on a date you should never just wear "comfortable sensible" clothes because you feel comfortable and confident. Learn to feel confident in something sexier. You should definitely wear something feminine and flrty that has a splash of sexiness to it. Men love that. Don't wear contraptions that oversexify where you are showing all kinds of skin that is tacky. But definitely DO NOT wear sensible clothes. Leave those for the office or the court appearance, which ever comes first. Okay, you completely missed my point. I'm not saying she shouldn't dress situationally appropriate, but if she's not confident in herself, a hot pink mini isn't going to mask that, or change it. That sort of energy comes from within. That's all I was saying.
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 The thing to avoid is the "this is all I am" aura when dressing provocatively. It's no different than a otherwise superficial guy thrusting his left arm out to shake your hand because that's the one the Rolex is on. OP, is it possible to dress conservatively and have the right kind of man notice you for your positive actions and clever prose and witty insight? It all depends on what you want. Since your other postings indicate to me that you feel you're competing with younger, more obviously physical and less experienced females, this is going to be a difficult path to a decision. Best wishes
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, you completely missed my point. I'm not saying she shouldn't dress situationally appropriate, but if she's not confident in herself, a hot pink mini isn't going to mask that, or change it. That sort of energy comes from within. That's all I was saying. Ahh ok got ya!! That makes a lot more sense. Some women feel they need to look like oversexed kittens showing way too much skin that's actually not that sexy according to what guys tell me, I hear they prefer a little left to the imagination but sexy dress nonetheless. I could be totally wrong...again it's what I've heard. And judging by how I dress I would say it works to dress sexy not trashy.
westernxer Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 If you're going out to dinner or something, you definitely don't want to dress like you're going to the office.
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 It is possible to dress sexy and comfortable. There was a lot of 'sexier' clothes I used to not wear because I didn't feel confident in it, but as my confidence started building, I started feeling more comfortable in sexier clothes.
girl68 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Your statement is so obvious its funny. girl 1: sweat pants and baggy shirt = no sex appeal (proably little appeal not just 'sex') girl 2: well fitting jeans, nice top = nice look, likely with a bit of sex appeal. I mean DUH, obivously. And jeans, and a tight top is hardly anything more than jeans a top. It's not a short skirt with high heeled stilletto boots. Who the would want a girl (or guy) who doesn't give a hell about looking nice, only what is comfortable? Yes, darling- you have to put in a little effort into your look.
Els Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I dunno, I always dress simply and comfortably. Yeah, I don't usually get guys ogling at me or trying to talk me up. But I'm not interested in guys like that anyway. Regardless, I have had quite a few guys interested in me. Definitely not as many as the model-looking girl who's all dressed up will have; but I'm not interested in guys who place looks as top priority anyway. So it serves as a useful filter. You're right, guys don't look at me and get interested. They make friends with me and get to know me as we talk.. and THEN they ask me out. Of course, if what you're aiming for is to have strangers walk up to you and give you their number, you should dress to flatter yourself. But that's just you.
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Who the would want a girl (or guy) who doesn't give a hell about looking nice, only what is comfortable? This is why I always admire the put-together (not 'office' attire) married women whom I see shopping at the grocery store. They 'have' someone, but it hasn't impacted their personal sense of style and decorum. This tells me a lot about a woman; positive things. Out my way, fitted jeans, a nice blouse and low-heeled sandals are sharp summer attire. Doesn't matter if it's the post office or happy hour. Add a bit of makeup for the evening and you're good to go
prettybaby Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 That's bs. I get hit on when I'm wearing boring sweatpants and an old tshirt. What matters is how you feel about yourself, and certain clothes can indeed affect that. Personally, I've noticed that makeup can make a bigger difference than clothes sometimes. I guess it depends on the situation.
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm confused on what 'conservative dress' is. Some of you are describing sweatpants and tees, or casual dress like Carhill with jeans and heels, and I consider conservative dress to be something like a fitted knee length skirt with a silk blouse and pearls.
vox Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm confused on what 'conservative dress' is. Some of you are describing sweatpants and tees, or casual dress like Carhill with jeans and heels, and I consider conservative dress to be something like a fitted knee length skirt with a silk blouse and pearls. Full on Victorian corset/hoopskirt regalia complete with oppressive ruffled neck garb and elaborately appointed hair pinned up.
prettybaby Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 ^^ I just assumed she meant the opposite of sexy. No deep cleavage, no tight form fitting stuff.
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Victorian women wore crotchless bloomers - pretty damn risque, if you ask me. Tiny waist, pushed up breasts. How provocative does a woman have to get?? Seriously, I see some amazingly sexy looks with conservative dress. A dress that fits just right, a skirt that emphasizes a cute butt without being short or tight, a simple fitted silk t-shirt, sleek shapely legs in a pair of heels, a chain that dips down below the neckline of a blouse. Casual dress that I think looks great on women? An above the knee cotton skirt with a t-shirt, a fitted polo dress or t-shirt dress with a chain belt, the classic cotton fitted shift dress. Maybe what you need is a clothes consultant. Save your money, and look through catalogues and pull out pictures of clothes and models that you really really like that fit your lifestyle, and then go to a large department store and explain your needs - attractive, well fitted clothes that emphasize your assets and make you look young and approachable without looking like clubwear. They usually have clothes consultants who can help pick out things that fit you well, and they have access to tailors who can make clothes you love fit you better.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 That's bs. I get hit on when I'm wearing boring sweatpants and an old tshirt. What matters is how you feel about yourself, and certain clothes can indeed affect that. . yeah ok show up on a date with sweatpants and old shirt. Better you than me hun...
Vet Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, I just had to make a post about this. Conservative clothes are very comfortable, I feel more confident in them, and personally I feel like I'm not trying too hard. But since I am single and do want to find somebody, dressing conservatively almost gets me very little male attention. I can almost go days/weeks without a guy finding me sexually attractive. You pretty much go unacknowledged, men don't even bother to make eye contact with you. I wind up feeling so ugly and undesirable that I pull out a pair of tight jeans, and a tight shirt to feel like I am somebody I know they will say that dressing sexy attracts the wrong type of men, the shallow kind..but IMO, it seems that dressing sexy is needed to attract even the right kind of men, to get them to at least notice you. Why women insist on perpetuating this behavior is beyond me. You sound like a victim, through and through. You dress in clothes you're less comfortable in in order to get a man you probably won't really like who doesn't want you to be yourself? Be yourself, dress in what you're comfortable, and ask men you like out. If you're always a bystander to your own life that's waiting on someone else to live it for you, you're going to be miserable.
caramel c Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 It's all about personal style and what YOU feel good in. For me, I like tight jeans that fit my booty just right, with high heels and some kind of blouse or stylish top. I like to add some color somewhere in the mix, whether its with accessories or my shoes or top. I do not like to show a lot of skin, that is unnecessary. If I do, though, it would be in ONE area. For example: I may show a little leg, shoulders, back, or maybe even some cleavage, but not more than one of those areas at a time.I also love to wear dresses and sometimes dress pants or capris. I don't get it when I see girls out looking like they just got out of bed, wearing a scrunchy or big shapeless jeans and tops. They look a mess. I don't see how anybody would find them attractive, not even a straight girl like myself. If getting out of the house isn't motivation enough to look good then that just means she doesn't care about it. I can see why a guy would not be turned on by such a girl. If you are unsure of which styles look good on you and what your personal style is, get a group together and go shopping. Or, pick up a few fashion magazines. It really does make a huge difference.
Els Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Why women insist on perpetuating this behavior is beyond me. You sound like a victim, through and through. You dress in clothes you're less comfortable in in order to get a man you probably won't really like who doesn't want you to be yourself? Be yourself, dress in what you're comfortable, and ask men you like out. If you're always a bystander to your own life that's waiting on someone else to live it for you, you're going to be miserable. I agree 99%. The part I disagree on is the 'why women insist on perpetuating etc', though. I am sure you have read the countless 'Why don't women like nice guys like me??'/ 'Why do men always have to be the one paying?' / 'Why is dating life so much easier for women?' threads on this site. This victim behaviour/mentality isn't exactly restricted to the female gender.
Lyssa Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Have you tried putting on a dress made out of a fabric that clings to your body? Of course this does no go with just about any body type but if you are confident enough to pull it off - you should give it a try. It can be short (above your knee) or knee-length. Keep it classy. Don't overdo it with the make up.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Why women insist on perpetuating this behavior is beyond me. You sound like a victim, through and through. You dress in clothes you're less comfortable in in order to get a man you probably won't really like who doesn't want you to be yourself? Be yourself, dress in what you're comfortable, and ask men you like out. If you're always a bystander to your own life that's waiting on someone else to live it for you, you're going to be miserable. Yeah what you said makes sense but I would counter that with learn to dress a little sexier and watch men ask YOU out. That's the ideal place you wanna be in as a woman not the other way around where you are doing all the asking. That's not letting your life pass you by, if you take an active role to dress for success, you will make life happen for you. Have you tried putting on a dress made out of a fabric that clings to your body? Of course this does no go with just about any body type but if you are confident enough to pull it off - you should give it a try. It can be short (above your knee) or knee-length. Keep it classy. Don't overdo it with the make up. __________________ I am wearing one right now exactly like that with a little black cardigan on top. mind you I'm at work.... ;-)
Vet Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I agree 99%. The part I disagree on is the 'why women insist on perpetuating etc', though. I am sure you have read the countless 'Why don't women like nice guys like me??'/ 'Why do men always have to be the one paying?' / 'Why is dating life so much easier for women?' threads on this site. This victim behaviour/mentality isn't exactly restricted to the female gender. Most definitely; I wasn't trying to intimate that men don't have their own very similar problems like the examples you said. All people, men and women, need to stop thinking of themselves as victim bystanders, waiting for someone else to come by and live their life for them.
Lyssa Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I am wearing one right now exactly like that with a little black cardigan on top. mind you I'm at work.... ;-) You sexy vixen, you!
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