New Again Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Just found out yesterday I have to move....and so have to break up with bf.
Thaddeus Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Why do you have to move? Why can't he come with you?
Author New Again Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 I'm moving 500 miles away for work related reasons. For various reasons I know that he won't/can't move to this particular location. I'm still trying to NOT move, since I moved here because I want to be HERE, but it's not looking good. Once I know I'm completely out of options I'll bring it up (haven't told him yet), but again...it's not looking good.
goldencloud Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Hey, I can understand your sadness at the situation, but you simply don't know what the future holds or if your paths will intersect. I'm not privy to the actual details of this threads, but as someone who once had to move a billion miles from a man I adored to pieces, I know the frustration! It's my belief that things happen as they happen, and often even though we wish we could control a situation to our liking, it's best to just let it go, live, and see what happens. Just my 2 cents:)
WTRanger Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Not even going to try a distance relationship for a bit? Do you have something against distance relationships? As to echo the sentiment that is played out all over this board. You must not really care about this guy because if you did you would put effort to be with him no matter what. Distance is nothing but a number. It's the effort you put into it. You can see someone more in your life if they live 500 miles away than if they live 500 feet away. It's all about effort.
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Na, I think you should talk to him now. You never know what might happen. Maybe something can be worked out, maybe you can try a LDR, ya never know!
prettybaby Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I don't get why you automatically have to break up. Are you already having problems in your relationship, regardless of your work situation?
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Every minute of every day of your life you have a choice. Sometimes choices are painful and, yet, they are still completely yours to make. Think about that. When you wrote that you 'have' to move, think about the reality of that; what's at work there. Interesting....
laRubiaBonita Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm moving 500 miles away for work related reasons. For various reasons I know that he won't/can't move to this particular location. I'm still trying to NOT move, since I moved here because I want to be HERE, but it's not looking good. Once I know I'm completely out of options I'll bring it up (haven't told him yet), but again...it's not looking good. hey- i get you. i knew there would be posters saying what's wrong with a LDR.... sometimes it just will not fly. how long have y'all been together?
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Why do you HAVE to stay with this particular job?
Els Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I dunno, but it kinda sounds to me like the OP and her bf are in 'casual dating' stage, or a casual relationship perhaps. Because if it were a long-term, committed one, surely she would be thinking 'What can I do about this? What are our options?' instead of just 'Aww, I have to move, so I have to breakup with bf', no? In such a case, I guess the best thing to do would be to smile, pick up the pieces, remind yourself you're going to experience a whole new world over there, and start looking for new fish in the sea.
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I still think it'd be best to tell the bf now. If it were me, I'd be upset that my bf knew that he might have to move, and he never told me until there was no other options. Part of being in a R is working together and communicating. I get the feeling OP isn't too attached to BF. NA - what do you plan on doing?
northstar1 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Distance is nothing but a number. It's the effort you put into it. You can see someone more in your life if they live 500 miles away than if they live 500 feet away. It's all about effort. LDR's are not for everyone (well not for most really). Effort is nice and all, but some people don't want a relationship where only see each other every few weeks/months.
WTRanger Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 LDR's are not for everyone (well not for most really). Effort is nice and all, but some people don't want a relationship where only see each other every few weeks/months. Yeah, because they require work and effort and everyone wants something for free. I could see 5,000 miles as a reason, but 500 isn't that far. It's a days drive at best. I'd at least give it a try, there's nothing to lose. If you really cared about this guy. If it's still in the early stages, then maybe that would be a reason to not dive forward. But if the two of them have started forming a serious bond, then I think this is a dumb reason to end it. But, that's just me. Internet forums were not invented for us to agree with each other.
littlewhiterose Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I don't know how much time you and your s/o have been together but there's no way you'd consider a LDR?
Author New Again Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 Thanks for the replies. In regards to a LDR, it's just not an option in this case, not because we're not serious about each other or because we don't love each other. I don't want to get into specifics on why this is the case, since it's just more info than I feel comfortable sharing on here. In regards to this job, I do have to hold on to it for the time being for several reasons, including: the economy sucks and I'm not going to throw away a job without having another one lined up right now; I have student loans, car payments, a mortgage, and other bills I am responsible for paying, and not nearly enough savings to live off of until I find another job. I'm looking for other jobs right now so I can stay.
tinklebell Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Thanks for the replies. In regards to a LDR, it's just not an option in this case, not because we're not serious about each other or because we don't love each other. I don't want to get into specifics on why this is the case, since it's just more info than I feel comfortable sharing on here. In regards to this job, I do have to hold on to it for the time being for several reasons, including: the economy sucks and I'm not going to throw away a job without having another one lined up right now; I have student loans, car payments, a mortgage, and other bills I am responsible for paying, and not nearly enough savings to live off of until I find another job. I'm looking for other jobs right now so I can stay. Sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out. Don't give up yet!
Absolutely Curtains Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I completely understand the LDR thing. Sorry people have been attacking you for not going that route. My only suggestion in regards to an LDR, just something to think about, is that eventually someone has to move to the other person. That can be both a reason to give it a go, as well as a reason not to, depending on the individuals and circumstances. Good luck to you
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