Author Mr. Stumpy Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 papercut- I have little self esteem only because of my hand. That really is the only reason. I like who I am inside. But my hands didnt grow properly so thats why i hate them. And I have seen many many people give shocking looks when they see my hands... guys AND girls.
callingyouuu Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Dude, I think even if 100 women posted on this forum that they thought you're hands were super hot, you might feel good about yourself for a day. Then, the next time you go out to eat and the waiter looks disapprovingly at the mustard stain on your shirt sleeve, you're still going to misinterpret his look as something against your hands, and you'll feel miserable again and come back to the forum hoping that your approval count has jumped by another 100 people. Until you come to terms with it yourself, not by hearing a bunch of people on the internet, you won't ever really feel comfortable with them.
zaphodb2002 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Thanks everyone for your replies. I do have a little bit of body dysmorphia, my growth was stunted as a teenager from antidepressants and I used to be 5 foot 8-9, but I got cosmetic leg lengthening surgery to become 5 foot 11, even though I was supposed to be around 6'0"-6'1". But 5'11" is good enough. But with stunted growth means evey bone is stunted, arms, fingers, legs, torso, feet, everything. So even though I'm 5'11" I have the same stunted fingers... They have killed my confidence so much for the past 2 years that I haven't been able to have a girlfriend for all that time, cause I'm kind of egotistical (in a good way) and feeling like a freak cause I have shorter fingers than EVERYONE is the biggest ego-blow to me... My last girlfriend commented saying "you have small hands!" and she was really short with really small hands. Plus a lot of other people have made comments to me about it... So I'm so terrified of what any girl would think if I tried to get with her, I haven't even been able to look girls in the eye... Why would people comment on my hands so much? Do you girls still think they're not bad? Ok dude, you're doing great. I'm 5'4", I would LOVE to be 5'8", lol. I also have very short fingers in relation to my palms, which I affectionately refer to as my "bear paws" or, less affectionately, "vienna sausage fingers" lol. I can never find gloves that fit, and my thumbs are bizarrely short, frankly. Despite these setbacks, I've never had any issues getting girls. In fact, if a girl comments on it, I'll often turn it into something cute, thus the bear paw thing. You sound like you've struggled with a lot of self image issues, and that's really a shame, because how you look is really only a very small fraction of attraction. Hell, women keep marrying Larry King, for God's sake, and he looks like a turtle.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 I just posted this pic somewhere: http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af101/mrstumpy01/CIMG0778.jpg and all I got was a bunch of "eww tiny nubs!!" comments from girls... girls, are they that bad? this is going to kill me...
Citizen Erased Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 They're fine, really. Anyone that comes out with "eew, stumps!" are clearly 12 year old girls looking to make fun of something they know bugs you. At the very least they're larger than mine, my hands are tiny. And hey, at least you can hide what you hate with gloves.
Lish Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I am only going to tell you this once more Stumpy so please do listen up. - I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you, your hands are slightly smaller than most. However, your hands are perfectly fine. Like someone else said, people who are shallow enough to judge you by your hands should NOT matter to you or be in your life longer than it takes to turn round and walk away. - If you know how to use your fingers, who really cares? - Personally, I like it when I hold a man's hand and he has a firm, 'manly' grip. I also like a man who knows how to use his fingers. That is all. Now, finally, in the last point, which was of my preferences, did you see anything about finger length? ....the answer to the above is no. Really.
The Collector Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 They look completely normal. You are self-sabotaging for some reason. I'm sure if you could magically make your fingers as long as you think is ideal you'd suddenly think 'hey I never noticed before but one of my ears is slightly bigger than the other! No woman will want me now."
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I just posted this pic somewhere: http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af101/mrstumpy01/CIMG0778.jpg and all I got was a bunch of "eww tiny nubs!!" comments from girls... girls, are they that bad? this is going to kill me... No they aren't -- and I am extremely picky (and relatively shallow as well). Your hands are just fine. If you are posting and getting those kinds of comments - those girls aren't telling you the truth. Loveshackers are honest -- almost to a fault. Brutally honest most of the time. So the women here are saying there IS NO PROBLEM. You need to get over it. Quit making something wrong where there is nothing.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Lish- I know they're not freaky, but just like you said "your hands are smaller than most." It's that "most" part that I can't get over. And they're not small! They're 7.5 inches from wrist to tip of middle finger which is average, and they are the same size as every 6 foot guy I know... they just look so small cause of my fingers and it's driving me crazy, I just want to be normal, not "smaller than most." And they def don't mean small penis for whoever said that Thank you guys for telling me your opinion, but I think they look a lot bigger in pictures than in real life, the same way actors look a lot taller on screen. I became "aware" of my hands in college and ever since then I can't even look at them... they disgust me so bad, to a very unhealthy extent! The thing that bothers me most is when I see one of those girls who's naturally big boned and a has much body fat, you know the type? They ALWAYS have way longer AND thicker fingers than me... so embarassing and so degrading So are you ladies saying it doesn't bother you to have bigger fingers than your guy? Is having way longer and skinnier fingers than your guy the same thing as having bigger hands even if his hands are overall bigger? Cause that's what I feel like the rule is.
Lish Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Lish- I know they're not freaky, but just like you said "your hands are smaller than most." It's that "most" part that I can't get over. And they're not small! They're 7.5 inches from wrist to tip of middle finger which is average, and they are the same size as every 6 foot guy I know... they just look so small cause of my fingers and it's driving me crazy, I just want to be normal, not "smaller than most." And they def don't mean small penis for whoever said that Thank you guys for telling me your opinion, but I think they look a lot bigger in pictures than in real life, the same way actors look a lot taller on screen. I became "aware" of my hands in college and ever since then I can't even look at them... they disgust me so bad, to a very unhealthy extent! The thing that bothers me most is when I see one of those girls who's naturally big boned and a has much body fat, you know the type? They ALWAYS have way longer AND thicker fingers than me... so embarassing and so degrading So are you ladies saying it doesn't bother you to have bigger fingers than your guy? Is having way longer and skinnier fingers than your guy the same thing as having bigger hands even if his hands are overall bigger? Cause that's what I feel like the rule is. Oh come on. When are you gonna get over this? Everyone is different. Your nose might be bigger than most...your nose might be smaller than most.....your lips might be bigger than most....your lips might be smaller than most.....your hair might be longer than most...your hair might be shorter than most..... see where this is going? You are you. You cannot change that. You're individual. In regards to your last two questions: WE. DO. NOT. CARE. Seriously, there are more important things to be worrying about in life. It's really not that big of an issue to everyone else. Just you. You NEED to get over this. Soon. Please?
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 Lish- Thank, it does help to hear a pretty female like yourself telling me it's not a big deal. But when you say the big nose, long hair comment, I don't see it as relevant, cause those aren't masculine features... I have read/heard so many times how much a turn on big hands with long fingers are and how much a turn off short fingers are. I'm TRYING to get over it soo bad, but my head just will NOT let me. I can't help it. So you're saying it's not a big deal to have way longer fingers than your bf?
Lish Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Lish- Thank, it does help to hear a pretty female like yourself telling me it's not a big deal. But when you say the big nose, long hair comment, I don't see it as relevant, cause those aren't masculine features... I have read/heard so many times how much a turn on big hands with long fingers are and how much a turn off short fingers are. I'm TRYING to get over it soo bad, but my head just will NOT let me. I can't help it. So you're saying it's not a big deal to have way longer fingers than your bf? It is entirely relevant I can assure you. We all have hands. They're all different sizes. & no, it wouldn't bother me if I had longer fingers than my boyfriends... which i dont......cuz I'm single. ha. Like i said a few posts ago, masculine hands are not determined by how they look ...it's how they are used... in all situations Your head will let you when you stop being silly & ACCEPT that you cannot change it and that they're normal. Infact, I bet you go out of your way to hide your hands from females, which probably draws more attention to them. I bet they wouldn't even notice if you didn't make it so obvious.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 1, 2009 Author Posted September 1, 2009 It is entirely relevant I can assure you. We all have hands. They're all different sizes. & no, it wouldn't bother me if I had longer fingers than my boyfriends... which i dont......cuz I'm single. ha. Like i said a few posts ago, masculine hands are not determined by how they look ...it's how they are used... in all situations Your head will let you when you stop being silly & ACCEPT that you cannot change it and that they're normal. Infact, I bet you go out of your way to hide your hands from females, which probably draws more attention to them. I bet they wouldn't even notice if you didn't make it so obvious. That's a really good point, how they are used is really what people see. Wow, that really makes me feel a lot better, thanks a lot Lish. Yes I do go WAY out of my way to hide my hands, and yes many many girls have picked up on it and got really turned off by it. Like REALLY turned off by it. But they really should of because they could see in my eyes and in everything I did how deeply insecure about it I was about it... I swear at times I literally feel like I have NO worth because of how short my fingers/hands look. One more question: So you're saying that it wouldn't bother you AT ALL if your boyfriend had shorter fingers than you and ALL of your girlfriends? Do you think that would bother a lot of girls?
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 I've dated guys with shorter fingers than mine. Didn't bother me. People with short, stubby fingers are great pianist, I heard. Have you tried the piano? Who knows, you could be good at it and can swoon a girl by playing the piano.
Lish Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 That's a really good point, how they are used is really what people see. Wow, that really makes me feel a lot better, thanks a lot Lish. Yes I do go WAY out of my way to hide my hands, and yes many many girls have picked up on it and got really turned off by it. Like REALLY turned off by it. But they really should of because they could see in my eyes and in everything I did how deeply insecure about it I was about it... I swear at times I literally feel like I have NO worth because of how short my fingers/hands look. One more question: So you're saying that it wouldn't bother you AT ALL if your boyfriend had shorter fingers than you and ALL of your girlfriends? Do you think that would bother a lot of girls? You know what the turn off probably is? If you go out of your way to hide your hands, not only are you bringing attention to them, you're showing a girl you're incredibly insecure about it.. and sometimes that in itself can turn girls off (insecurity & especially if it's over something they deem trivial). I have the perfect sized breasts for my size/height/weight/whatever...but that wont be to everyone's tastes will it? Some men prefer alot smaller, some prefer alot larger. And no, it wouldn't bother me personally and even if you didn't show insecurity and draw attention to them, girls who are as shallow as that aren't worth looking at. I've dated guys with shorter fingers than mine. Didn't bother me. People with short, stubby fingers are great pianist, I heard. Have you tried the piano? Who knows, you could be good at it and can swoon a girl by playing the piano. That works. Alot of girls find talented musicians/singers a turn on.... including me
You'reasian Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Ok Im a decent lookin guy and Im decently tall, 5 foot 11.5, and I have a decent build. Im a pretty good guy and know how to treat people. HOWEVER, my hands are VERY messed up. My fingers didn't grow right (long story), and they are shorter than every single guys and girls hands I know. I am constantly hiding them... it's horrible... they are killing ALL confidence I have... Are they that bad? heres a scan: http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af101/mrstumpy01/img013.jpg please no rude answers... i almost killed myself over my hands. compare them to your own hands and let me know what you think. Hey!!! Its our Romanian Photo shop friend! I've got one for you.... Hi. My name's Romo. I'm a decently talented young man whose quite knowledgeable with IT, programming especially photoshopping. Heck I'd say I've won a few local competitions... BUT I have this problem. I keep making posts that I think make fun of other people's insecurities. They never do, but because I think they do and they make me laugh - others will think the SAME WAY... HELP!!!
sally4sara Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Dude, your hands are bigger than mine by two inches - get the the eff over it! Can you pick your nose? Can you indicate direction with the point of a finger? Can you flip someone off? Can you flip a light switch? Can you hold your penis steady whist urinating? If you answer yes to most of the above questions - I'm going to have to call shenanigans on this thread!
EarthGirl Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 It's funny Mr. Stumpy.. I have really small hands too, even for a girl (I am sure they are much smaller than yours)...I never knew that until I was a teenager and probably almost done growing all in and all and one day my sister (who is the same age, my fraternal twin) looked down at my hands randomly and commented on how small they were. Then I noticed that compared to hers they were really small... My sister and I being fraternal twins definitely look like sisters and that we come from the same gene pool but we DEFinitely do not look exactly alike, either facially, or our body types or anything. My sister got my paternal grandmothers hands which were long and elegant. I remember her hands even though I don't remember much more about her. so my sister has her hands, she has these gorgeous long, skinny fingers...not so long to the point of looking weird though, they are just beautiful. Her toes are the same, lol, and actually she had problems when she did pointe work for a while in ballet because her toes were so long that the pointe was especially hard on her feet (pointe work is pretty much damaging in some way to most ballerina's feet and my sis was good but was never and probably would not have been a prima ballerina and didn't spend all that much time on pointe and specializes more in modern dance, jazz, some tap, etc.)..but yeah she had an especial problem with that because of her toes and she gave up pointe work at some point which was not the hugest sacrifice of her life fortunately, but it's a little sad. Anyway my sis got the long elegant feminine fingers and toes from my paternal grandmother, and I obviously got my maternal grandmother's hands which are very very small with short, slightly stubby fingers. Every time I look at my grandma's old wrinkled little bitty hands with her red nail police on, I say, oh, that's where I got them. My fingers are not really stubby, even though I am so overweight these days they are still not (one of the parts of my body that has actually stayed pretty much the same) but my palms are very small and my fingers are pretty short, like I say, even compared to most women. I remember when my sister told me about my hands that day and she compared hers to mine, I had never thought about it, I felt kind of proud and ...I don't know, dainty and feminine and special that I had such especially small hands for a woman, while still just large enough to not look kinda freakish like kids hands. Of course this comes with disadvantages like when I played viola in middle school and high school, and I would never have been good anyway , it wasn't my thing (though I enjoyed being a part of the orchestra), but sometimes I had trouble reaching my fingers to certain notes, because my hands were simply not big enough. And even now sometimes I imagine I can pick up something with one hand but I really am not estimating it well and when I actually do pick it up, my hand is not big enough to get a good grip on it and down it goes. I am clumsy enough without having that problem, but there you go. But that just goes to show how we judge eachother and how we judge ourselves based on what we think is appropriate for who were are supposed to be...your hands are average size for a man, they are manly looking hands while still being quite elegant like the hands of an artist, you see them as smaller than average, but that is debatable, perhaps part truth but mostly fiction that may have been implanted in you by your own father who was supposed to believe in you and teach you that you were perfect just the way you were... And I get my small hands pointed out to me, and they end up being one of the things I was known for in high school on the drill team.my "pretty hands" when I danced. you know it all means nothing, right? your hands are perfectly lovely AND masculine. mark my words, the devil is playing tricks with your brain, it's all a mirage, and you have to find a way to fight back.
MSUE Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 i see nothing wrong with them...absolutely nothing
MissViolet Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Your fingers are on the short side, according to my taste. But they're not abnormal. I'm sure most women don't mind.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 They look fine to me mine are actually much much smaller Ive had people say wow you have such small hands! I'm OK with it I like it as it makes me unique! My advice learn to love yourself no matter what trust me cause guess what if some ones judgmental enough to pick on you for your hands? Then it wouldn't matter they would find something else to pick on if they were perfect no ones perfect in this world or it would be a very boring place!
TooAccepting32 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 nice hands They look like my boyfriends and I love his hands. I agree with Butcher's that the hair on your arms is nice too... another thing that is like my boyfriend which I really love. I have very large hands for a woman. My fingers are long and my hands are over all big.. I always felt pretty self conscious about it but you know, it turns out my current bf really likes them. He thinks they are elegant. What might appear freakish to you could appear pretty normal to everyone else and to someone / certain people it can be extra special in a good way. take care
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 nice hands They look like my boyfriends and I love his hands. I agree with Butcher's that the hair on your arms is nice too... another thing that is like my boyfriend which I really love. I have very large hands for a woman. My fingers are long and my hands are over all big.. I always felt pretty self conscious about it but you know, it turns out my current bf really likes them. He thinks they are elegant. What might appear freakish to you could appear pretty normal to everyone else and to someone / certain people it can be extra special in a good way. take care Would you date someone with fingers as short as mine? (refer to the hand on the right that's palm down, the size/looks of the other one is way exaggerated in that scan)
Lish Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Would you date someone with fingers as short as mine? (refer to the hand on the right that's palm down, the size/looks of the other one is way exaggerated in that scan) STOP ASKING! It's not an issue!
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