t0ri Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm just wondering what the likelihood of "opposites" in a relationship working out? My ex and I were very different, if not opposite. I like to exercise, he does not. We have completely different tastes in music, and he's a fanatic about it. I'm dedicated and motivated, he's not so much. Our fashion sense was pretty different. He smokes, I don't. His friends are most important to him, my family is most important to me. I'm neat and organized, he's not at all. Some of our differences were maturity-related, and we did have some things in common, but people were shocked when they found out we were dating. Probably mostly because of how opposite we are looks-wise - he's not what people would consider my "type." You get the idea. Anyway, do you think being opposites hinders or helps relationships? Or is it all circumstantial? I don't think my ex and I's relationship failed because we were opposites, but having more in common might have helped.
Jaytb Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Opposites are great It's nice to have diversity in dating so you can expand your mind and learn new things.
sexibanez Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Yeah opposites can work fine, it's all about how you make each other feel at the end of the day!
Vet Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Opposites, in the ways that you're describing may work. Opposites in compatibility, do not.
Hkizzle Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I'm just wondering what the likelihood of "opposites" in a relationship working out? My ex and I were very different, if not opposite. I like to exercise, he does not. We have completely different tastes in music, and he's a fanatic about it. I'm dedicated and motivated, he's not so much. Our fashion sense was pretty different. He smokes, I don't. His friends are most important to him, my family is most important to me. I'm neat and organized, he's not at all. Some of our differences were maturity-related, and we did have some things in common, but people were shocked when they found out we were dating. Probably mostly because of how opposite we are looks-wise - he's not what people would consider my "type." You get the idea. Anyway, do you think being opposites hinders or helps relationships? Or is it all circumstantial? I don't think my ex and I's relationship failed because we were opposites, but having more in common might have helped. Opposites can attract. I generally find though that motivated people and lazy people can't work out together in the long run.
browolf Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Opposites only works if underlying attributes are flexible and you "meet in the middle" somewhere. An equilibrium forms whereby each persons aspires to or gains something from the positive traits of the other. Having some things in common is just a foundation.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Anyway, do you think being opposites hinders or helps relationships? Or is it all circumstantial? I don't think my ex and I's relationship failed because we were opposites, but having more in common might have helped. Such differences can certainly fuel chemistry and connection, but some compatibility factor will need to kick in at some point. I imagine a lot of circumstantial factors are at play too -- if you are looking for an "opposite" partner to compensate for something in yourself, there will be a different set of issues than if you meet someone who happens to be "opposite" and hit it off. From my own experience and what I've read on LS, it seems that -- at least for some of us -- being attracted to what we're compatible with is not an easy thing. It's almost as if you have to "learn" it.
butcher's hook Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Never worked for me, at all. I strongly disbelieve in the "opposites attract" philosophy. How can you mesh a life with someone who is radically the opposition to what you are and aspire to be in life? Makes 0 sense to me.
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