Our reason for contacting each other has gone...all that's left is NC forever :o(

[Taucher]

Ok so I am feeling strangely vulnerable right now.

 

I have made threads regarding the fact that I could not go full NC with my ex as there were still issues outstanding regarding our deopsit for the flat we shared together. Basically, the landlord went missing with our deposit. So me and my ex exchanged emails and texts about how this situation was developing. It seemed kind of necessary.

 

Anyway, our landlord has appeared and has released the money to her account. She sent me an email saying that she will send half of the amount to my bank account via the internet. And that's it. All the reasons for us to contact each other are gone. Finished.

 

I didnt (and wont) reply to her email. There is nothing for me to say. She is going to transfer the money to my account and then we move on, like our relationship didn't happen. Like 5 years meant nothing. I am an idiot.

 

And I feel like sh*t.

 

I know (somewhere) that this is really a GOOD thing. Now I can finally move on. Truth is, I love her. And my reason for contacting her has gone. Other people on this forum have had very big emotional contact with their exes since they split up. I have had business like texts/emails about our flat. We have never discussed her leaving me. It is fact, and I have to deal with it. I feel my ex is very cold.

 

And now what?

 

T

[caramel c]

Now the show must go on. It's going to be very tough since you're used to communicating with her, even though it was just about business. In a way, you might feel a little bit like you just broke up all over again. One thing is for sure: You are going to be JUST FINE. It sounds like you know how to handle yourself. You knew you didn't have to email her back, so you didn't. You are going to go on with your brilliant self all over London. OK?

[soheartbroken]

Same boat my friend. About a week ago we basically ended all reasons for contact (although she said she would send one more email confirming that the apartment had been rented and everything was smooth...but not holding my breath for it).

 

So now there is no more reason really for contact. 5 years done. Been NC for a week and it has been a relief, because she was actually an as*hole about getting back to me when we were sorting stuff out. Taking her sweet ass time replying to my phone calls and emails etc.

 

But soon I think reality will kick in and I will want to contact her madly.

 

What most upsets me is that it doesn't appear as though she wants to speak to me! And we didn't end things that badly. I know I need NC, but why does she? It's like getting rejected as a partner and then as a person. Adds insult to injury.

 

Given the five years, you would think we could at least communicate once in awhile. Otherwise it does seem like a waste, right? Like why do you spend all that time getting to know someone and their family, only to drop off the face of the earth. DOESN'T MAKE SENSE DOES IT!

 

Sorry. Rambling about myself. Just wanted to say you're not alone. Let me know how things go. Let the healing begin!

[Sbrizio]

T, i understand the feeling. A part of you was taking advantage of the situation - in a subtle and subconscious way, probably - to keep attached to a tiny string of hope.

 

My Ex has made absolutely clear that she is not in love with me. She has helped me a lot with NC - she behave in quite a mature way. At the same time, i know (from external sources) she is looking forward for a moment in the future in which we could be friends.

Well, just this tiny fragment of information is an obstacle to my healing - and i know how much i'm able to distorce this information in my mind.

 

Ultimately, what really and uniquely sucks, is that we lost our love.

 

But, rest assured: once every tiny connection with her is lost, you'll be able to regain your self much faster.

 

I'm in a place where i'm not looking for contact anymore; additionally, i'm relieved () by the idea of not seeing/hearing from her never anymore in my life. Whilst i know this is still a intermediate phase in the healing path, and that future will probably be different, i find this thoughs really helpful.

 

Stay cool.

This is the moment to relax and try enjoying what life offers...bit by bit.

[sumdude]

NC is the path to healing and moving on. Every contact is taking hits on your emotional health and setting you back.

[EmperorR]

I know how it is, haven't heard from my ex since last sept, almost a year and I know I never will, I've moved, cell changed email changed, no networkig sites but such is life it gets easier trust me. Keep your head up.

[jv032889]

NC is the path to healing and moving on. Every contact is taking hits on your emotional health and setting you back.

 

My ex and I work together and it's slowly killing me. I'm fine on the days I don't see her and talk to her but when she comes into my office it messes with my emotions. How am I suppose to move on if she prentends to care and ask how my days going, how school is etc.? I love my job and I don't want to leave.