lovesacks Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I forgot to add the fact that she asked if she would date me. She said yes. Are you retarted??? i would say more than retarded but yeah you got it
boogieboy Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Maybe Ive seen too many teen drama shows, but it sounds like Alexis is setting ol Cardinal up for a major turndown. Gets his hopes up, then when he talks to her she laughs at him? I hope not....after building up to this for a year, that could amount to some major tears and sobbage...
xpaperxcutx Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Maybe Ive seen too many teen drama shows, but it sounds like Alexis is setting ol Cardinal up for a major turndown. Gets his hopes up, then when he talks to her she laughs at him? I hope not....after building up to this for a year, that could amount to some major tears and sobbage... This is not Mean Girls. It's just another soppy story of guy meets girl, guy likes girl, guy does not get girl.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Dude, she was never interested in you. Your friend told you that she was because either a) the girl that you are interested in was too polite to say what she really thinks or b) your friend wanted to soften the blow so she added a bit to the story. Also note that the girl said she wouldn't go out with you because of the summer break. She still said she would not go out with you. When someone rejects you and then offers an explanation, 9 times out of 10 that explanation is a lie. The truth is that they are saying no because they just do not like you in that way. Simple really. And if you needed further proof, she rejected you AGAIN via Facebook. Wake up and smell the coffee. To re-iterate: she didn't change her mind in 4 days so you really need to let go of that thought. She never liked you. S#it happens. Please let this go and don't try again.
paxchris Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I agree, unfortunately, cardinalfan5, the signs are loud and clear. This girl is not interested in you, and likely was not to begin with. Whatever words have been spoken or whatever her friends have said, the truth is that actions speak louder than words. This is something that all of us face, though - including this girl that you are pining over. None of us are better or worse than the rest, we are all human beings deserving of love and affection. You are deserving of that. You can continue to pine after this person, wondering why they don't like you or wondering if they DO like you and how they could have changed their mind so quickly, and let it bring down your self esteem and self worth, continuing to think that if you could just say the right thing or do the right thing you would win this person's affections. The truth is, there are no magic words to make someone like you. You can also accept that this person is not interested and move on, and realize that you deserve better for yourself. There is no reason to mentally torture yourself over someone when there are plenty of other available girls out there. Speaking from experience, you'll honestly feel much better after just letting go of this person. You'll experience an initial blow to the self esteem but after some time you'll realize you made a healthy decision for yourself in the end and will feel a lot better for it. Keep your chin up :-P All will be well.
boogieboy Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 This is not Mean Girls. It's just another soppy story of guy meets girl, guy likes girl, guy does not get girl. NAh this is high school...it could very well be a version of mean girls....Ill wager that he's been set up...
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I forgot to add the fact that she asked if she would date me. She said yes. Are you retarted??? Nope, I'm not retarted And it doesn't matter if once upon a time she said yes to your friend asking her. She told you no. No means no. Dude quit letting her yank your chain. She's just trolling this thread...second only to you in posts to this thread with nothing to say other than to yank your chain and act like a bitch. I told you to leave this site and go ask the chick out. That's what you need to do now. Anything else is just mental masturbation at this point. You want to prove people wrong then go get a date with the girl Even if you try and fail I for one will give you an attaboy! LOL yes at 4000+ posts I'm a troll. How'd you guess Why are you encouraging him to ask her out AGAIN? To get rejected? No one else seems to think the girl is interested. You're giving OP hope, and for what? Why not encourage him to meet other girls, instead of setting in on the one who doesn't want to date him? He's missing out on some great high school opportunities by wasting his time on this chick. He could be dating for crying out loud. But he's not.
boogieboy Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Why are you encouraging him to ask her out AGAIN? To get rejected? No one else seems to think the girl is interested. You're giving OP hope, and for what? Why not encourage him to meet other girls, instead of setting in on the one who doesn't want to date him? He's missing out on some great high school opportunities by wasting his time on this chick. He could be dating for crying out loud. But he's not. To be fair DG, I also posted that he should ask her out again, because hes not heeding the advise that she doesnt like him. I figure if he doesnt want to believe that, he might as well go back to hoping....
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 To be fair DG, I also posted that he should ask her out again, because hes not heeding the advise that she doesnt like him. I figure if he doesnt want to believe that, he might as well go back to hoping.... Well to be fair in that aspect, that dude didn't attempt to talk some sense into him first. All OP is doing is looking for validation - and a reason to keep on hoping. We all know there is none. And there is no reason to lead him to believe there is one. If that makes me a bitch, for being straight about it, then so be it.
Die Hard Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Nope, I'm not retarted And it doesn't matter if once upon a time she said yes to your friend asking her. She told you no. No means no. LOL yes at 4000+ posts I'm a troll. How'd you guess Why are you encouraging him to ask her out AGAIN? To get rejected? No one else seems to think the girl is interested. You're giving OP hope, and for what? Why not encourage him to meet other girls, instead of setting in on the one who doesn't want to date him? He's missing out on some great high school opportunities by wasting his time on this chick. He could be dating for crying out loud. But he's not. Several reasons. First, I'm not 100 percent convinced that he cannot get a date with this chick like you are. Second, I don't happen to think rejection is the end of the world as you appear to think. Third, I don't think a 15 year old boy should be called creepy or stalkerish because he has a crush and is obsessing about her. All boys do that in high school at some point. Fourth, I don't think anyone(especially a male) should be taking dating advice from someone(particularly a female) who just sat on their ass all weekend on the internet without a date. Basically, I don't want him to end up like you. 4,000 posts at a dating website. Unlike you, I'm a big believer in having hope, giving encouragement, and telling someone that young to go for it and to learn to live without regret in regards to dating and women. Rejection is going to happen whether he likes it or not. It's a lesson learned and can be an opportunity rather than a closed door. You say he's missing out on opportunities being interested in this chick. He's got three years left in HS for god's sake and this is just one of many crushes he'll have! This IS one of his opportunities! Either get a date with her, or learn a valuable lesson and re-calibrate his approach to girls! Anyway, like I said before, not saying I'm right but these are my opinions. I can't guarantee anything. Just trying to help him given my own personal experiences.
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Several reasons. First, I'm not 100 percent convinced that he cannot get a date with this chick like you are. She said no. If he continues to pursue, he will only get laughed at by his fellow classmates. Second, I don't happen to think rejection is the end of the world as you appear to think. It is not the end of the world, but it is silly to waste your time to continue to get rejected by the same person over and over again, when you could be out finding a girl who IS interested. Third, I don't think a 15 year old boy should be called creepy or stalkerish because he has a crush and is obsessing about her. All boys do that in high school at some point. And it's a bad trait that can be carried into adulthood if you let yourself take it to far. I speak from experience. He's getting advice from many great posters here, that he'd benefit from, and grow from. Why encourage over analyzing and obsessing? Why not encourage traits that will further him with the women in the future? Fourth, I don't think anyone(especially a male) should be taking dating advice from someone(particularly a female) who just sat on their ass all weekend on the internet without a date. Lets see... I had a date Thursday. Then I ended up with a date Saturday night. And I have one today. I also worked Saturday and Sunday. :laugh: Basically, I don't want him to end up like you. 4,000 posts at a dating website. So what are you saying about those who have 10000, or 20000, or even the few with 30000+ ? Careful... Unlike you, I'm a big believer in having hope, giving encouragement, and telling someone that young to go for it and to learn to live without regret in regards to dating and women. Rejection is going to happen whether he likes it or not. It's a lesson learned and can be an opportunity rather than a closed door. You say he's missing out on opportunities being interested in this chick. He's got three years left in HS for god's sake and this is just one of many crushes he'll have! This IS one of his opportunities! Either get a date with her, or learn a valuable lesson and re-calibrate his approach to girls! False hope is not a positive thing, no matter how you spin it. And you are one, out of how many here who thinks this girl might go out with him... And YES, REJECTION IS PART OF LIFE. But encouraging a teenage boy to obsess over it, and keep after this girl will only encourage him to do this in the future, and in the future, girls will find this crazy, creepy, and stalkerish. If anything, people need to learn how to take no for an answer, not sit and stew on it forever. The best thing OP could do is learn how to accept rejection and move on in life. Anyway, like I said before, not saying I'm right but these are my opinions. I can't guarantee anything. Just trying to help him given my own personal experiences. Just like everyone else here. So maybe you can keep that in mind next time you want to start downgrading another poster.
BCCA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Several reasons. First, I'm not 100 percent convinced that he cannot get a date with this chick like you are. Can I ask where you are getting that from? Not trying to be rude at all, just dont see what youre seeing that Im not - she said no more than once. Second, I don't happen to think rejection is the end of the world as you appear to think. Not the end of the world, but it really should be the end of this discussion about if she likes him or not. Seems pretty clear she doesnt. Third, I don't think a 15 year old boy should be called creepy or stalkerish because he has a crush and is obsessing about her. All boys do that in high school at some point. Its fine to have a crush, but its not fine to obsess over the same girl who rejected him. Its healthier to take rejection for what it is, learn to deal with it, and find someone else. Its not healthy to spin your wheels over the same girl, no matter what age you are. Fourth, I don't think anyone(especially a male) should be taking dating advice from someone(particularly a female) who just sat on their ass all weekend on the internet without a date. Youre talking about a 15 year old kid who cant take no for an answer, do you really think it matters who gives him the advice? He has no idea who anyone here is, its an anonymous message board. Basically, I don't want him to end up like you. 4,000 posts at a dating website. How does the amount of posts she made have anything to do with this? Thats anecdotal at best. If she helped out a lot of people with those 4k posts, dont you think thats a good thing? Unlike you, I'm a big believer in having hope, giving encouragement, and telling someone that young to go for it and to learn to live without regret in regards to dating and women He's been turned down, and the girl is laughing at him in the hallways...what is there to encourage?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I understand what Die Hard is saying. He's only encouraging the kid to make a move if it's the only way to wake up Cardinal to the truth, even if rejection might be the only thing that comes with it. Guys, no need to jump down DH's throat. Teenagers are obstinate and aside from studies and boy/girl relationships, nothing ever really penetrates their walled mentality until they step into the real world. In the case, Cardinal came on here to look for justification to his problems and his ideal, and us being strangers, we can only give so much advice that can impact his life. Ultimately he can only seek the answers he need by himself, and that is to ask out the girl. If he doesn't experience pitfalls in his life, he will never learn to get back up on his own. Hence if a clear rejection is something that will wake him up, then so be it.
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I understand what Die Hard is saying. He's only encouraging the kid to make a move if it's the only way to wake up Cardinal to the truth, even if rejection might be the only thing that comes with it. Guys, no need to jump down DH's throat. Teenagers are obstinate and aside from studies and boy/girl relationships, nothing ever really penetrates their walled mentality until they step into the real world. In the case, Cardinal came on here to look for justification to his problems and his ideal, and us being strangers, we can only give so much advice that can impact his life. Ultimately he can only seek the answers he need by himself, and that is to ask out the girl. If he doesn't experience pitfalls in his life, he will never learn to get back up on his own. Hence if a clear rejection is something that will wake him up, then so be it. Being rejected twice wasn't clear enough?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Being rejected twice wasn't clear enough? I'm not the OP, but maybe in his case, he needs a third rejection.
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I'm not the OP, but maybe in his case, he needs a third rejection. And by encouraging a boy who already is having an issue learning to accept rejection, to keep pressing the object of his affection, is going to do what? He couldn't grasp no the first two times. That already says that he's got issues dealing with rejection. It's not healthy, and it's not going to help him get past it.
BCCA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I'm not the OP, but maybe in his case, he needs a third rejection. He needs to see the writing on the wall.
Cora Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I'm completely confused now. First I thought he had already asked the girl out and she said no, then he says he hasn't yet and now it's back to he has already twice? I think I should refrain from responding to this thread any longer because obviously I don't understand the situation. Good luck to you though OP whatever the case may be.
BCCA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I'm completely confused now. First I thought he had already asked the girl out and she said no, then he says he hasn't yet and now it's back to he has already twice? I think I should refrain from responding to this thread any longer because obviously I don't understand the situation. Good luck to you though OP whatever the case may be. From what I can gather, he has asked her twice to which she said no, but he sent in a friend to ask her something and she said she used to like him, but doesnt anymore. Somehow, to the OP, this all adds up to her rejection actually being a sign of her love...
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 From what I can gather, he has asked her twice to which she said no, but he sent in a friend to ask her something and she said she used to like him, but doesnt anymore. Somehow, to the OP, this all adds up to her rejection actually being a sign of her love... And a certain poster thinks this is very healthy and normal, so he's encouraging OP to keep it up, and keep getting rejected. OK before I say my next statement - PLEASE UNDERSTAND I"M NOT SAYING THIS WILL HAPPEN TO OP - so don't start flipping out on me. But I think if a lot of people would have learned acceptance on rejection and failure or what not earlier on, the world would have been much better off. Less freakish stalker type people running around. So much behavior is learned. I wish I learned acceptance of things I cannot control much earlier on. I wish I learned to let things go and slide earlier on.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 From what I can gather, he has asked her twice to which she said no, but he sent in a friend to ask her something and she said she used to like him, but doesnt anymore. Somehow, to the OP, this all adds up to her rejection actually being a sign of her love... I thought he asked her the first time through Facebook chat and the second wasn't so much asking her out as having the friend ask the girl for more info about himself. So, I would think he only asked her once, and that had been before the summer? And now he plans to ask her in person.
BCCA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I thought he asked her the first time through Facebook chat and the second wasn't so much asking her out as having the friend ask the girl for more info about himself. So, I would think he only asked her once, and that had been before the summer? And now he plans to ask her in person. Regardless of what has happened, anyone see any reason for this poor guy to continue with this charade?
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 I thought he asked her the first time through Facebook chat and the second wasn't so much asking her out as having the friend ask the girl for more info about himself. So, I would think he only asked her once, and that had been before the summer? And now he plans to ask her in person. From what I understand, he asked her pre summer, she said no because she wanted to be single or some excuse for the summer. Then he asked her out on facebook, in a friendly manner, and she STILL said no. That's how I took it, but some how he asked her out twice and got two knows. He thinks that a 10 minute glace means she's into him. Oh, and I think the friend asking her was aside from all of that. I could be wrong. Either way, I'm pretty sure some where along the lines he got told no twice.
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Regardless of what has happened, anyone see any reason for this poor guy to continue with this charade? But gee BCCA, it builds character, and it's good to continue press a girl over and over to go out with you. Didn't you get the memo?
BCCA Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 But gee BCCA, it builds character, and it's good to continue press a girl over and over to go out with you. Didn't you get the memo? I did, it was an excerp from that new book 'How to be creepy and never get laid' Powerful stuff...
Recommended Posts